Monday, 4 May 2009

Meanwhile, back on the ranch

Done and dusted, another trek home. An enjoyable one even.

As a special threefold tribute to you ‘just relaxers’ out there, we paid no attention to what cycle day it was and just had ‘at it’, we tested the resolve of a childhood bed, not to mention the paper thin walls, and we even gloriously revelled in a fine hotel.

Curiously enough, and some of you may be shocked to read this, but doing it while not knowing what cycle day it is, is exactly the same as doing it while knowing.

Everything still goes in the same places, the same noises get made, the same squelching occurs, and the few minutes of wondering if that was 'the one' still takes place.

Shocking, I know.

This evening for the first time, I listened to the interview that I had last Friday, and I’m seriously regretting not having used a voice box.

I sound like I was wearing wellingtons, I stuttered for about 11 of the 14 or so minutes it lasted, I said ‘Umm’ 4,617 times, and I compared my poor wife to a cow.

A roaring success.

If that hasn’t turned you off the idea of listening, go here, and under 'shows from the past week' click on Friday’s show to hear it. You need RealPlayer to play it; I’m on from about 1:14 onwards.

Now that we’re back, a quick consultation on Fertility Friend tells me it’s CD20, so we are already floating down the two week wait river on a raft of just relaxedness with just a week or so to go.

It’s all fun and games, but we really would like this to stop now. Really. Can we do that please?


41 comments:

James said...

Haven't had a chance listen yet, but now I really have to.

Am I really first??

Single Parent Dad said...

I have Realplayer, but my PC is currently telling me I do not, but refusing to download it.

I'm sure your interview competence is greater than mine with computers.

But thanks for the summary anyway ;-)

womb for improvement said...

You are too harsh on yourself. You were great.

And you truly deserve a medal for not beating Pat Kenny round the head with a microphone when he read out the "We just moved/ adopted" texts.

Mo and Will said...

To a cow? Really?! Look forward to listening to this. Xbox - you make me laugh out loud.

Mo

Maxi Cane said...

Dude, you interviewed very well. If this interview had been on a lighter subject I would have given you a list of questions for Pat!

Sarah said...

Cant wait to listen! Y'know...once I get permission.

Mick said...

Absolutely fantastic. You did a great job there!

Didn't notice the umming at all. I would've sounded like a right eejit on air.

Mick said...

But those texts he read out. OMG. He could've spared that part.

Christa said...

Am I the only leotard not seeing a "shows from the past week function?"

I see 'past shows' then they are all alphabetized....

Lorna said...

You sounded great - didn't notice the umms at all and I thought the AI comparison was hilarious but didn't for one minute think you thought poor ET was a cow! well done for listening to yourself, I did an interview on local radio about a month ago and as yet, still haven't had the courage to listen to it!

Lorna said...

Agree with the other comments - Pat could have spared you some of those text messages, in fact, Pat actually talked too much!

Kori said...

I haven't listened to it yet either, but I am glad you are home. I have missed you!

tiff said...

Welcome 'home'.

Bonnie B. said...

Christa, you're not the Lone Leotard. I can't find it either. Somebody help (please)!! What was the show called?

Grandad said...

Welcome back! Just listened to the show [and you know my love for The Plank, so you know how hard that was for me?] I listened for the ums but missed them as the interview was too good.

Ms. Moon said...

Dammit, XBox. I downloaded the player and I found the last week's shows and I clicked on Friday and then I got a menu and clicked on Pat's show and all I get is swine fucking flu. Sorry. Language.
I WANTED TO HEAR YOUR VOICE!
Sorry. I'm a little verklempt with the internet and my technological skills at the moment. I'm sure you were great.
And it makes me happy (although a little weirded-out) to know you and Ms. XBox squelched.

Shanny said...

OK the texts really got on my nerves too. Idiots.
Great interview though,and I loved your accent... from this side of the world =) (NY)

WiseGuy said...

Ha Ha Ha...if not for anything...atleast you did it for fun! That's an almost lost sensation for IFers....


I just counted on the Umms you had and the tally stands at a little lesser than 856....why, you liar!!!

WiseGuy said...

Ha Ha Ha...if not for anything...atleast you did it for fun! That's an almost lost sensation for IFers....


I just counted on the Umms you had and the tally stands at a little lesser than 856....why, you liar!!!

Tanya said...

If I could make it stop for you guys, I would.

In antenatal class I likened childbirth to a cow calving...but I thought thats where the similarities ended.

bsouth said...

Will Ireland proclaim a new Bank Holiday when you get ET up the duff? You have become something of a national treasure I would imagine.

At least you only compared ET to a cow, it sounded for a minute there like you were going call her a bull!

Tismee2 said...

Maybe the one in the luxury hotel is the one and then you can name the baby Travelodge!

snort!

hotmamamia said...

OK..I downloaded Real Player and I went to Last Week's shows and I clicked on Friday and I still can't find it...damn man, I want to hear someone say 'um' that many more times than I did on my 15 minutes of fame!

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@James - You are! I'm all out of sync with my timing.

@Single Parent Dad - It's oddly accurate! realPlayer is in a word, an arse.

@womb for improvement - I made a face, if that counts?

@Mo and Will - Almost a bull!

@Maxi Cane - I had fierce witty commenmts ready to go in my head beforehand. Never materialised. Cheers.

@Sarah - diddums.

@Mick - I think I'm high enough on the eegit scale myself. I suppose he can only read the texts he gets!

@Christa - Duh...

@Lorna - Once, and never again will I listen!

@Kori - Kiss arse.

@tiff - Cheers.

@Bonnie B. - click the link, scroll down, there on the right are the shows from the past week. It's Friday.

@Grandad - Thank you sir, I appreciate that.

@Ms. Moon - The bit with me doesn't start until 1 hour 14 minuntes in, go forward!

@Shanny - They're not idiots, not at all, they've been lucky.
Thanks.

@WiseGuy - it was very interesting to see even briefly how a show like that runs together.

@Tanya - Some day...

@bsouth - Behave. You caught the almost bull slip! close one.

@Tismee2 - You know, I can't really see that happening...

@hotmamamia - You need to go to 1 hour 14 minutes on the show, that's when I start stuttering...

Monty said...

Oh, you went away?

I'd never have known.

Couldn't find the show either. Must be the third world blues.

Feebee said...

Well done, you were great! Pat was a Plank as usual but you managed to keep your cool with him. I did not!

womb for improvement said...

No, on radio faces don't count!

Chaos said...

the two week wait sucks. but atleast your not alone in the boat. have yet to listen to your interview, but anytime you compare your wife to a cow, makes for an interesting interview

S said...

wow, nice work!! I can't remember the last time we "did it for fun". I know that the last 2 embryo transfers we were told to quote "have rooties" (like its some kinda beer?) the morning before we came in for the transfer. So, half asleep at some ungodly hour in the morning, M going "I need to piss first" (charming, yes!) ... well, no more sordid details, but it was nice to pretend for a moment that hey - if I ovulated normally and if M's sperm worked normally and we were just Mr and Mrs Norman Normal, we'd be doing this at a certain set time and it would work. You know, cause we'd be normal.

Seriously. Lying to myself is such a talent.

Good work on the interview, it wont work on my comp!

S

S said...

and if someone else tells me to "just relax" I'm going to shove a katana up where the sun don't shine!!!

did you really compare your wife to a cow?? wow.

S

James said...

Just finished listening. Great job X! Very interesting, and I actually did not hear any of the "ums".

annieg said...

Interview was great. Totally assumed you were from Dublin but obviously not! Waterford? Cork? Anyway, well done. Pat is such a tosser. He is unbearable! Good luck this month

Shanny said...

Xbox, I don't actually think they are idiots and good for them for being lucky. I just found the comments to be hurtful, and I know they don't know better, but they still sting. =(

merinz said...

You sounded very cool calm and collected!
Well done.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Monty - Third world lack of attention to detail

@Feebee - Thanks. Must say I can't really handle listening again to analyse it!

@womb for improvement - Just as well for a few people I know!

@Chaos - Never alone in this boat!

@S - Yeah somedays you just want, normal, for fun. Doesn't always happen though.

@James - Oh they are there, hiding, waiting... thanks.

@annieg - Thanks, yeah Cork county, I couldnt be more non-Dublin if I tried. Poor Pat's getting woeful abuse.

@Shanny - I know, don't worry. People can only tell what they have experienced. They've been lucky, I'd swap places in a second.

@merinz - Cheers, thanks.

Jane G said...

I couldn't hear any Cork in your accent! You did great. The cow/AI reference reminded me of a story my sister told me after the birth of their first child. The midwife was complementing her husband on how calm he was throughout the labour, considering he was a first time father. His reply was "Well no disrespect to my wife, but I was reared on a farm". Lovely!

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Jane G - Tis been beaten out of me here. Never had much of a one anyway.

Great answer that.

Blues said...

Xbox, absolutely wonderful to hear your voice. Made me realize how absent that is from blogging. Really, really lovely. Thank you for sharing and want you to know I admire you so much for what you're doing.

B said...

AAGGHHH

Cow, Human, Rat, Slug, Lawnmower... it's all the same, for both sides.

That's the end of today's science lesson from me. Radio is overloaded with ums, only really slick crappy shows have no ums.

B said...

and very good ones too.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Blues - heh, not nearly as suave as in my own head ;-)

@B - I must be losing the plot, because I've no idea what you're on about!