Wednesday, 13 May 2009

Achtung no baby

Today, a woman will attempt to cross international borders with mood altering drugs in her possession.

While German customs guards will be on the look out for tips of heroin filled balloons peeking from the bottoms of elderly ladies, and sniffer dogs will have their noses in the cocaine caked crotches of teenagers, this lady will pass unnoticed.

ET has to travel to Berlin for a day or two, a trip joyfully coinciding with starting her second round of Clomid.

The first time around, we naively thought we had escaped with little or no side effects when she had finished her 5 day course relatively unscathed. Little did we know that the fireworks really start post ovulation.

Let's just say those Berliners are lucky that this is the first day and a lower dose, otherwise if they still had that wall of theirs, she'd be climbing it.

It may have been expedition point for some of the most overwhelming military movements of the 20th century, but Western society knows of no destructive potential greater than a wee woman full of Clomid.

To be on the safe side, those Germans better not start any shit, for the next 36 hours anyway.


36 comments:

Que? said...

will she be back for the fireworks?

Single Parent Dad said...

Time to duck Germany!

Blues said...

Oh, I don't know if Germany is ready for that. Happy Clomid travels.

Ms. Moon said...

Bless her heart.

Ed said...

They have been warned.

M+B said...

Shame she's not away for the fireworks!

Russ said...

Ich liebe Berliners! They are tasty!

Minze said...

Oh, I don't know. It's not like we're God's little sunbeams over here. If there's one place where you can be tetchy without raising any eyebrows, it's Germany.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Que? - She IS the fireworks! Just a day or two.

@Single Parent Dad - absolutely.

@Blues - Heh, cheers.

@Ms. Moon - and all her other bits!

@Ed - but will they listen!

@M+B - I think home is better for that.

@Russ - Your old country!

@Minze - True, Germans are very friendly and relaxed, if I had my time over again I would have moved there.
and welcome!

womb for improvement said...

So that's 36 hours of you wondering round the house like a lost puppy, or out on a permanent late pass?

AnnB said...

Oh, now I have this horrible image of fireworks ripping through Alexander Platz and poor ET shrieking something about "Vorsprung Durch Farmatik"! Wow I hope there's no collateral damage.

Bonnie B. said...

Oooooooh, we may have just hit upon the perfect weapon of mass destruction, Xbox! We'll dose up our female members of the military and unleash them on Afghanistan or Pakistan or one of them other 'stans and they won't know what hit 'em!!

(speaking of medications, I think I should have taken mine this morning....)

expatswede said...

Good luck to the Germans, eh?
Hoping for good things for you two, like always.

Hockeyman said...

I hope she isn't French...

Putz said...

i don't understand clomid

Momo Fali said...

Climbing the wall? My guess is that she'd be tearing it down.

James said...

Safe travels ET.

nutsinmay said...

"tips of heroin filled balloons peeking from the bottoms of elderly ladies" - that was an image I could have really, REALLY done without.

Here's hoping the smaller dose is considerably less angsty. I'm getting a double dose this time. Pity me. Pity my husband.

Tara R. said...

Bon voyage!

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@womb for improvement - Football woman!

@AnnB - Heh, we should be safe for now.

@Bonnie B. - I'm kind of curious why you plan on attacking Pakistan!

@expatswede - Thanks.

@Hockeyman - Mais non!

@Putz - Putz, me neither!
It's a drug to stimulate follicle/egg production. It often has a bad effect on the emotional state.

@Momo Fali - Give it time...

@James - Thanks James, on her behalf.

@nutsinmay - And you have had a few months of it already, making the effect worse. Best of luck.

@Tara R. - Thanks.

geeksinrome said...

If they survived Hitler...
Glad you are far from the war zone for now.

S said...

My assvice to ET: WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T MENTION THE WAR! (hahaha I love basil fawlty).

S

bsouth said...

Blimey, good luck Germany. I hope she has a good and safe trip.

So, football eh? Will you be moving from in front of the television at all or will you be moving the beer fridge to the chair in front of the television?

B said...

Only climbing it? Not just ploughing straight through?

Best of luck with it anyway... not sure if that's to you, the missus, or the germans though.

iVegasFamily said...

Watch out Germany.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@geeksinrome - He had nothing on a hormonal woman!

@S - It's brilliant, must dig that out this weekend.

@bsouth - I'm teatotal...

@B - we could all use a touch of it!

@iVegasFamily - Bless em

Daisy said...

Good luck ET! And Germany! I am currently feeling a fraction of your frustration and misery so really thinking you of you both this month and have everything crossed.

A Free Man said...

Fuck 'em, damn Germans deserve it.

Insch Stalker said...

Poor ET on the loopy pills - I hated clomid - it made me miserable, nauseated and emotional, and also a right bloody nightmare to live with as my moods would swing quicker than a metronome on its highest setting!

See if you can get some tamoxifen instead - does the same job but nearly no side effects (costs more though, and yes its the breast cancer drug)

Fingers crossed that this is your month (ours only came after we went through clomid, tamoxifen and onto gonalF and IUI) x

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Daisy - Thanks, best of luck to you.

@A Free Man - Actually, bloody brilliant people the Germans.
Their love for David Hasselhoff aside.

@Insch Stalker - Yikes, you've been through the ringer.
Thanks.

Putz said...

p.s did you know amsterdam, frankfurt and munich are all in the top three most desirable places to live in the world and that is including my town of ephraim utar

Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] said...

no sympathy for the devil, eh?

Dondi Tiples said...

Cocaine caked crotches? Oooooh.

Jimmy said...

Hell hath no fury like a woman hopped up on hormones!
mammydiaries (forgot to log off dp)

Karen MEG said...

Hope the lesser dose wreaks less havoc on ET emotionally - no wonder she was a wreck last cycle given how over stimulated she was!

And tamoxifen, that's the first I've ever heard of it used for infertility, wow.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Putz - I didn't know that, 2 of them I could imagine, but Frankfurt?

@Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] - No sympathy from you at all.

@Dondi Tiples - Down girl.

@Jimmy - Jimmy suits you ;-)

@Karen MEG - They use the oddest meds for different things, viagra has been used for women to increase blood flow, I believe.