Monday, 12 April 2010

No Mr. Dickens, greater

You are not at all what we expected.

A screaming, sobbing newborn is what we most likely envisaged being handed to us. The reality was a silence, a stand-off. Your parents being no exception, you stared everyone out, the only sign of anything bordering uncertainty being the occasional slow blink, eyelids peeling themselves back to the point of impossibility to let the entire world in. And out.

Weeks have passed and we’re become more and more familiar. An evolution is taking place; I now know nibbling on your chin and neck makes you laugh a tongue flapping laugh, you’ve learned how to burrow your way into the sweetest spot under my neck, little head butts clearing a path towards sleep, and I know how much you enjoy feasting on your own fingers, often with an entire fist falling fowl to your gummy jaws, it’s limited dimensions being all that stops you gorging on everything up to the elbow.

Your world is limited but you rule it, nothing disturbs or upsets you here. You seem to know this is your home. Your babbling, while frequent, is contained to gurgles that are at first wrapped up and then let loose in more combinations of vowels than are imaginable.

It’s scary to contemplate the things you might say to us were you able, all fierce and bold and sure. Until then, every day you tell it like it is in your own way.

It is ridiculous to call it such, but you possess an unusual confidence. Maybe it’s better described as an inherent comfort with how you are and what you do, in your own 7 week old universe. You lie content in your surroundings, yelping instructions when something is not as it should be, smiling and laughing when it suits you to make us do your bidding.

I wonder when does that comfort fade in people, when might you become as unsure or uncertain as the rest of us. Never, I hope.

No, you are most certainly not at all what we expected.

32 comments:

Jenni said...

so much greater.

Ms. Moon said...

I think it ends when you step into a world big enough to include people who do not worship you. Don't you think?

Hockeymandad said...

It never fades my friend. Well, at least not in almost 6 years since I first experienced these same things.

Gail said...

How did you get from 'Pond Porn' (see April 10th 2009) to such a beautiful piece of writing?

Did you ever manage to get those tiny green leaves out of your pubic hair by the way??

Middle Aged Woman said...

A happy baby. Imagine that.

Marylin said...

You're making me OH SO BROODY!!!

Sue said...

Oh, tears... but good ones.

IrishNYC said...

Embrace it. It's a reward for the long road she took to get here.

hotmamamia said...

BEAUTIFUL! I can't beleive it is 7 weeks already...how does time move so swiftly? Just wait til those vowels start bunching up with consonants...it won't be long til the words FLY then! Really, beautiful!

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Very beautiful!

And funny Gail! :-)

Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] said...

Babies are awesome.

I'm not even going to try to write as good as you.

See? Can't do it.

Veronica said...

Yes. Definitely.

WhatAboutNovember said...

*tear* :)

Erika said...

It's like you transcribed my heart's experience with my 10-week old right here into vivid, LCD perfection. Beautiful.

Heather said...

Yes, that is it exactly. And it just keeps getting better.

Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo said...

So I guess you are gunna keep her then?

People in the Sun said...

You've bonded with her? I think you're ready for the next step. It's time to follow in the footsteps of this father.

steph said...

I can't wait till Sanne mouths "Dada"!

likemamusedtobake said...

I hope you are proud, you have reduced a grown woman to a near blubbering mess. A beautiful description of your gorgeous little baby. :D

River said...

Sanne may very well be one of those lucky few who are born supremely confident and remain so all their lives. May the universe always smile upon her.

Russ said...

Well written. I think we may have a Daddy who is just a little smitten with his little girl. As a Dad who is smitten with his little girl, I recognize one when I see one!

livingrightnow said...

Beautifully Written Man. She will read this one day.

Tanya

areyoukiddingme said...

I hope the confidence lasts forever - and I've noticed that when a girl has a dad who's absolutely and obviously in love with her, her life is much, much easier.

Jane G said...

Sweet :)

mish said...

To 'People in the Sun' ... disturbing link. I would not be promoting such behaviour.

Anonymous said...

You have fallen, head over heels, and I believe your little girl will only make you fall harder each day.Good job, X, and don't worry about the day it ends, you will keep her safe and sound.
Lori

Jo said...

Ugh, such a good point. I'm afraid it really does happen, you can see it, you just have to pray you're not the agent of the growing uncertainty :(

Lovely post. Smile on, Mango.

Barbara said...

Lovely words. She sounds incredible.

Mwa said...

There's no way you can ever be prepared for what a baby will be like.
And I was heartbroken when my son picked up his first insecurities when he went to school. I now see they would be insufferable little stuck-up brats if someone other than their parents didn't occasionally tell them that the sun doesn't shine out of their arse though. Plenty of time for that in years to come, though. Just enjoy your little independent entity for now. They grow up so fast...

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Jenni - Indeed.

@Ms. Moon - Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

@Hockeymandad - good, good.

@Gail - very few made it through the hard Winter this year, we have a froggy porn shortage.

@Middle Aged Woman - indeed...

@Marylin - heh, easy now...

@Sue - Sorry Sue.

@IrishNYC - it is that for sure

@hotmamamia - all in time!

@Jill/Twipply Skwood - dont encourage her

@Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] - they can be.

@Veronica - yep yep.

@WhatAboutNovember - :-(

@Erika - universal I suppose

@Heather - cool

@Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo - maybe, for now

@People in the Sun - hahaha

@steph - as long as it's not papa...

@likemamusedtobake - awwwww

@River - off to a good start at least

@Russ - Perhaps!

@livingrightnow - she bloody wont ;-0

@areyoukiddingme - that's a start then

@Jane G - Ta. :-)

@mish - I'm intruiged now

@Lori - we shall see

@Jo - 'it wasn't me' kind of thing!

@Barbara - she kind of is

@Mwa - No scholl for her then!

Muddling Along Mummy said...

I reckon some babies are old souls who have been here before and know what they're onto - they watch the world, reminding themselves of how it all works and making sure its all done according to their desires

Sounds like you have one of those !

Blues said...

This one is particularly lovely.