I am a man, I am an idiot. I am now thirty-one years old, a man, and an idiot.

In the late Spring of 2007, my wife ET and I decided to apply our universal ineptitude to conceiving, gestating, and maybe raising another human. Or a 'child' as they are known.

I began logging the chain of events almost immediately, and fully expected to blogging about disgusting nappies, cute gurgles, and sex & sleep deprevation.

Instead, it seems that fate is an ironic and crafty bugger and has other plans. We are now, by official definition, in the realms of 'infertility'.

At first glance it seemed that male factor infertility was the source, but following further semen analysis, the swimmers have the ability, when it suits them.

With the "all clear" for the both of us so far, here we are with occasionally wonky sperm in our pockets and not so many answers.

Mild insanity has set in, I've named my sperm and wife's eggs, and I chat with them on a far too regular basis.

Attempts to get help from the professionals proved to be, literally unfruitful, as for two years two clinics have decided because they can't see a problem, there must not be one.

Finally after being given the go ahead for treatment, and another few hiccups, we've done it. I sat and watched as someone else got my wife up the pole, knocked her up, made her a grump with a bump.

Feel free to join in with suggestions, remarks, comments, support or heckling.