We hadn’t gone a mile when an unidentified individual asked me a question, ‘So, will ye have any more?’
‘Dan’ I replied to the unidentified individual, ‘that’s a tricky question’.
And it is.
From day one the plan was to have more than one, we both had different numbers in mind but one wasn’t one of them.
The thing is now, we know what can be involved, we know how hard it could be, and we know how miserable you can become when it doesn’t happen.
Those twenty-whatever months hosted some of the darkest days in our lives, and even today I still wonder how we came out of them without one of us throwing in the towel.
You can just about carry yourselves through those times, the problems and needs of anyone else come a distant second.
So how do you go back?
What makes you say ‘I know how bad it can be, but let’s try anyway’? How do you do that when today, here and now, you are more content than you ever could have imagined?
Most importantly there is the matter of what we do have, a wonderful daughter. A wonderful, healthy, happiness-exuding little girl who deserves only smiles of an unforced kind. How would the negative effects of another repeatedly failing conception attempt affect her?
When failure is entrenched in their past, how do people decide when to try again?
What do you do when the desire and appreciation for the potential reward is there, but the risks are greater than ever?
When do you go back into the water?