Monday, 18 February 2008

Tit-less Monday

While it is a shame that it's not Tuesday, (the title would have sounded so much better, but I'm no dramatic media whore headline queen person, so it stays as is) I just wanted to inform you that today has passed off (well, technically 23 hours and 5 minutes or so of it anyway) without me making a prick of myself in any way, shape, or form.

No colour blind dressing up for appointments to make me look like a royal tit, no poorly applied makeup incidents at work to single me out as the office gimp, and generally nothing to identify me as the major wally that seems to be the norm of late.

However, just in case the Gods of war and wobbly bits thought I was getting too cocky, they decided
to deliver another hammer blow to my battered gonads by making this month another washout.

That's now 674* months in a row where my little bastard spermy buddies have failed to find a suitable home for themselves and settle down. Maybe my boys have gypsy blood.

Needless to say, we are both a wee bit miffed** at this turn of events.

So, while you consider that gross understatement, bear this in mind, to add embarrassment to insult, to injury, to making a twat of myself, I now actually have to go through with the semen analysis test, instead of just joking about it.

Life just doesn't get any f*&%$#@ better than this...

Notes: * - Ten, ** - Beyond consoling

16 comments:

Dan said...

I'm sorry. It must be tough.

I sent you something through the post to the address that I got through your paypal receipt, did you get it? It was nothing really and I intended it to be a surprise but it's been about a week since I sent it and I suspect it's either got lost or you no longer live at that address.

Don't worry if you don't, as I say it was nothing really.

tiff said...

My package is on it's way too.
I'm so sorry this was not your month.

Doodaddy said...

That sucks, man. Keep at it, though -- there are lots of stories of people who made it to this point and were successful later...

Dorky Dad said...

Um ... I'm glad you didn't make a prick of yourself today. But I'm sorry that you have to go through a spermanalysis, or whatever they call it. I really hope it happens for you soon!

Gunfighter said...

Just keep going!

Whatever you do, don't stop! (it has to be more fun than trying to aim for the er... test recepticle at inopportune times.

Married Leos said...

Well there are worse things to be failing at, at least you can enjoy trying again and again and .....

I tried for two years with nothing, had the test done and they said there was nothing wrong with my swimmers.

We eventually went with the turkey baster method and ended up with twins.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

Thanks folks, especially Dan & Tiff, I await the arrivals with such excitement I may soil myself. (that sounds sarcastic but its not).

DD & well, DD, thanks too, to a lesser extent as you haven't sent me stuff, but but there's still time!
Cheers guys.

Gunfighter & Married leos, thanks for the encouragement and for making your first comments, welcome.

Veronica said...

Wow! A whole day with no embarassment? You are losing your touch!

Sorry about this month. It sucks.

Joeprah said...

Yep, get it over with and go from there. Here's hoping you get a hot nurse in the spermanalysis chamber? I have no idea what I am talking about.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

"Sperm analysis chamber"... no idea what that would be like, but a great setting for a porno movie.

Where's my camcorder...

Sarcastic Mom (aka Lotus) said...

647 months? Now that's frustration. I've heard quite a bit of advice saying that often stress is the worst enemy of this endeavor... which bites, since the longer it takes the more stressed you get! I hope the analysis isn't too annoying... keep banging it out till then. Good luck!

terancedubya said...

gypsy sperm...now that's one for the books. Good luck and I hope the analysis goes well.

Roth Family Adventures said...

Sorry to hear it hasn't happened for you yet. It took my wife and I two years to conceive our son. We've been trying again for more than six months and still nothing. Hopefully we'll get lucky again.

Good luck with your test.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Sarcastic Mom - thanks, stress doesn't help but I think we've done reasonably well in that respect, not tooooo stressed.

@TD - thanks, well its over now...thanks be to f***!

@Roth family adventures -
Thanks for the nice comment, its very much appreciated, and reassuring to know that 10 months or a year is not necessarily a bad sign.

The Immoral Matriarch said...

Ugh, that sucks.
But at least you get to cum in a cup, right?

I mean, is that an upper or downer? I'm not a guy - I dunno...

Xbox4NappyRash said...

normally that's GOOD thing, not just in a cup, any drinking utensils or household appliances are fair game.

Just not under pressure, oh god, the PRESSURE!....