Sunday, 10 February 2008

Odd Shoes

Hey Ho !

As you've all undoubtedly not noticed whatsoever, I've not written anything in a while.
The reasons for which are four-fold, as follows:
1) I could not be bothered, repeating the same old moany drivel over and over is bad for the soul.
2) Nothing to report, when I get to stage where I write about what I've eaten for dinner, you have permission to beat me to death with an old radiator or some such item.
3) We've been away, a nice long weekend in London in fact.
4) I've been waiting for a special reader to catch up on all the posts.

And now in reverse detail... I'd like you all to give a big Jerry Springer welcome to a new reader, a very special one too, my nearest and dearest, albeit somewhat demented, wife, ET.
I finally grew a pair and pointed her in this direction, she hasn't as of yet smothered me in my sleep or (intentionally) poisoned my food, so I'm thinking she's ok with it.

Hi Petal !

We headed off last weekend to London, just to relax, have a change of scenery etc and we took in a show. Not I'm not a 'musical theatre' kind of guy, but we went to see Wicked, and it was fantastic. If you are ever in town, go see it, trust me.

Anyway, onto the juicy stuff (I just KNOW I'm going to regret using that term later).
Last Thursday I had an appointment with my GP to discuss giving a 'sample'. I wasn't quite sure what would happen on the day and despite thinking that I was perfectly cool with it, I was a bit more nervous than I realised.
So much so, that I did something that I will never figure out until the day I die. I went to the doctors office wearing these...


I just know that the doctor was thinking that it was no surprise that I hadn't managed to impregnate anyone if this was the sort of coordination I have.

To make a long story short, in true Dutch style, I was there just to make an appointment to make an appointment to make an appointment, and the 'sample' will be handed over on February 27th. (8am for those who want to put it in their diary)

Now for the killer, while I was there, the GP handed me a lab form to take with me, and a 'container' in which to bring the 'sample'. Now, I'm no expert in these matters, and I'm certainly no porn star, but I have to say that as soon as I clapped eyes on this 'container' my heart sank, most likely along with my sperm count. Take a look at it and tell me what is not quite right...


Am I the only one who thinks that it's a bit... er... small?

Well at least I've two and a half weeks to work on my aim.

18 comments:

Veronica said...

Firstly, when you said odd shoes, I was visualising a DARK brown shoe, not anything quite that odd.

Also? That speciman container is probably only half the size I thought it would be.

*snicker*

Good luck!

Dan said...

perhaps you could use a funnel?

The Egel Nest said...

It is good to wait until you actually have something to say to blog...

Glad you had a nice time in London :)

Bradley
The Egel Nest

tiff said...

Oh dear!

Those shoes and the speci jar. The... um... circumference too small, do you think?

Hi ET!
Glad you had a nice time away.

Doodaddy said...

Wow, you took the plunge! Good luck with that -- we're rooting for you!

Russ said...

Welcome Back!

Calli's Mama said...

Glad you are back. We missed you! Good luck with everything!

Love the shoes!

Hilary (The Trying Game) said...

Oh I missed you and your mismatched shoes. That totally sounds like something I'd do.

Welcome back Xbox.

Dorky Dad said...

I agree that a huge funnel would work far better than that thing. I'm trying to imagine getting to that point only to fumble around with the plastic container. Sheesh.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

Thanks folks, It's just bloody mental!

Honestly...

frog ponds rock... said...

Hi ET.. *Waves Madly*

Ummm and did you tie your laces up too????
I wear odd socks, but those shoes are ridiculous.. hehehehehehehe...

Excellent you have made me feel a lot better about a lot of the silly stuff I do...

cheers Kim...

Xbox4NappyRash said...

I tend to 'slip into' pre laced shoes lol.
All part of my hurried morning routine.

to clarify, I went back into the dark bedroom and just slipped into them and left again, I didn't consciously think this was a good fashion idea.

Mike said...

Don't "study" too hard! I hear it's an open book test. (Har-har. I kill me!) ;)

struglas said...

perhaps the doctor chose the container size due to your foot wear choice.

Karen MEG said...

Okay, just going through your archives because your recent posts have me intrigued. You are a funny, funny man (in a good way)... and I kid you not, my husband has done the exact same thing. With the shoe thing too.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Karen meg - It's bloody good to hear others have done the same, it had been a fear of mine to do that for years, and I do it on that day, of all days...

@ Mike & Struglas - har-di-har har...
;-)

Melinda Zook said...

Oh goodness, now that I am reading back...I see the acknowledgment of the small size of the vial...this always happens to me when I read blogs backwards, duh.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

I always do the same...!

and yes, it was tiny. an inside joke I reckon.