Friday, 18 September 2009

Priorities

I think I may have things a little arse-over-tit.

No thanks to IKEA and their oversized furniture, nor Ford and their undersized cars for that matter, this poor kid doesn't have any furniture, nor a floor to put it on. Don't mention painted walls or strollers, and he couldn't even sleep in a drawer because we just don't bloody have one.

I'm not going to panic, no sir, not even when I know it could take 8 weeks to deliver furniture and we are away for the next 2 weeks and before you know it you have a baby in a shoe box and a visit from child protection services. No, no panic.

Yet I've been disproportionately concerned about about the belly dweller's musical exposure, especially live.

I refuse to acknowledge the pub racket it had to put up with just 10 days post conception, and I'm not going to give Bono the satisfaction of being his first musical outing either. The way I see it, if he didn't have ears, it didn't count.
The child that is, not Bono. Bono has ears unfortunately, otherwise he couldn't wear those sunglasses.

Regardless, I forge on, and tonight the kid will feast his fledgling ears on the one and only Ray LaMontagne.

There's nothing that can kick start a holiday quite like an introverted manic depressive hermit who sings through a hole in his beard.

What I am really curious about is what will he hear in there, deep in the amniotic waters of ET's mutating gut? Guitar? trumpets? vocals? a Dutch audience who won't shut up?

From what I've read in those books, you can replicate what it sounds like for the wee thing...


Turn up the volume, click play, and put your head in the toilet.


29 comments:

womb for improvement said...

Dolly Parton has let herself go a bit.

Jane G said...

LOL @ WFI's comment.

One of my brothers and his wife are very Gaelic in their sensibilities. When they were expecting their first born, every time they were playing ceili music on Radio na Gaeltacht, the babby would start kicking the bejasus out of the Mammy. So they always thought he must be a fan of diddly idle music. Turns out after he was born, every time the same music came on the radio, he would start screaming his head off.

Moral of the story, when an unborn baby starts kicking wildly to your chosen taste in music, they are probably thinking "Nooo, make it stop. My foetal ears are bleeding in here".

Mwa said...

Should have cleaned the toilet first.

Veronica said...

No. Just no. Plus, if I stick my head in the toilet my laptop is too far away to press play on.

I've done my turn of being a fetus. I don't particularly want to go back.

mammydiaries said...

I LOOOOOOVE Ray LaMontaigne!!! mmmmm.... Don't panic over the furniture issue. We have two babies, neither of whom are furniture owners and they haven't been taken off of us yet! (For the record, we are average, run of the mill folk who stumbled into the whole "gentle" style of parenting and love it. We do not wear cardboard shoes and none of our clothes double as salad.)

A Free Man said...

Ray LaMontagne is a great baby music choice!

I made a huge effort with both kids' antenatal musical education. Not sure if it's paid off yet, but it was good fun and made me feel like I had something to do during the pregnancies.

Hey, send me your address and I'll send you along a copy of our antenatal playlist. See if anything strikes your fancy.

chris (at) afreeman (dot) org

Putz said...

my son when i say something like let's go see les mis, always always says, dad, i would rather put my head in a toilet....just saying

Ms. Moon said...

"There's nothing that can kick start a holiday quite like an introverted manic depressive hermit who sings through a hole in his beard."

So true, Daddy X. So very true.

Hey! Mr. Moon has really, really big feet. Want me to send over one of his shoeboxes? Should do the child until he's out of diapers.

AnnD said...

Don't worry! I didn't even start buying stuff for Emma until 30 weeks plus! And she was born at 37 weeks. They really don't need anything but a carseat technically. But, I would recommend a good bouncy seat. As for this baby, I'm 31 weeks today and we haven't done ANYTHING! Oh well!

I wouldn't worry so much about the concerts, just think of how many neurotransmitter connections you'll be making in Lil Fitz's brain when he/she hears it!

frogpondsrock said...

Now I have a mouthful of dunny paper, thanks a lot...

Hockeyman said...

1. I'm pretty jealous you are seeing him tonight and I am not.

2. I used to put earphones on the belly so the girls would hear music.

3. Why would I want to put my head in a toilet to listen to one of my top favorite songs by Ray? That's silly. My ears work fine but from what I remember it's much noisier in the womb.

As for the furniture, it will get sorted out. Go with some mail order if you have to. Come visit the US and use the almighty Euro's buying power here and ship it all back. Will probably be cheaper anyway.

Russ said...

Kids don't need furniture for a while. A carseat and a boob (ET's, not you) is all lil' fitz will need.

Tanya said...

The best way to understand it is run yourself a bath, play some music in or near the bathroom and put your ears under the water and listen!

My Emily kicked constantly whenever she heard violin music, so according to Jane's comment she musn't have liked it.

I always listened to loud music and now she falls asleep when there is loud music playing!

Kori said...

music is far more important that furniture. all you really need is a playpen (that's what Owen slept in for the first two years of his life) and a carseat.

Susanica said...

Daddy X. I like that name. Anyway, seriously, everyone gets so freaked out about creating a room for the baby. So not necessary before birth. Like others have said, a car seat, place to sleep and a soft changing pad preferably at a level where you guys don't have to bend way far over every time you change a "nappy". At first we had ours on this short dreser in our room until I dawned on us that we had a perfectly fine taller dresser right next to the bassinet. This time instead of a bassinet we are using our travel pack and play that has a hammock. It's a great investment because you can travel with it and the baby feels right at home anywhere you go! -M

Chelsea Lietz said...

We love Ray in Texas! Don't stress, you still have plenty of time.

Quickroute said...

the little nipper needs a music diversity - different style / tempo at different times - so I've heard

AnnB said...

My nearly 9 nine year old's first in womb live experience was with Steve Earle and a very dodgy PA; where the bass was turned up to 11 - she kicked sooo much, I had to leave the gig. Despite being the original Galway Girl, she can't stand his music ever since!!

It's Hannah Montana all the way now - where oh where did we go wrong?

Jenni said...

i prefer "trouble."

enjoy!

bsouth said...

lmao (I believe is the correct acronym) at womb for improvement's comment.

Apparently you're supposed to play or sing a song that makes the baby settle down over and over again. Then, when it's born, you play the same tune when it's going off on one and it'll calm down. Apparently.

Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] said...

I'm sure this post put Patrick in a bad mood knowing you're there w/ Ray and he's not.

I saw Blue Man Group in Vegas when I was 5 mo pregnant w/ Anna. All that heavy bass is most likely what gave her hearing problems, I'm sure.

Tara R. said...

The parents tell me when I was born, I showed a week or so early and they didn't have any furniture for me either. I slept in a dresser drawer for a couple weeks. I turned out okay... shut up!

Ed said...

Dear lord, man! This from a guy who loathes the Cranberrries?

jothemama said...

Newborns don't need furniture. We bought nothing in time for the birth but a changing mat. Nappies, blankets, a sling. That'll do.

Is RLM really an introverted hermit?

River said...

I hardly had to buy anything for my babies. With the first pregnancy I bought a cot and a pram, everything else was handed down from in-laws whose babies ahd outgrown them. I also bought new nappies (diapers), disposables weren't around then, it was terry towelling squares, folded and pinned on, anyway I got a little carried away and bought 4 dozen. With the extra dozen I received as a present, I had enough nappies to last through all four children.

Edith said...

We went back to Ikea today to have a look at some other baby stuff... we feel your panic! LOL

We think we'll go for the same wardrobe as you want(ed), but we'll have them deliver it! :)

Craig D said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Craig D said...

My wife always thought that our fetal daughter recognized the organ at church, loudy and boomy as it is.

After being born she seemed to respond to it as if to say, "Oh, that's what that was!"

(Haven't been by in while. Unemployment + slow internet connection = limited net surfing for Craig.)

Karen MEG said...

Hah, I love the first comment too!

We used to play a lot of Mozart when I was pregnant with #1...yeah...but when he was born we played Diana Krall in the delivery room. For the first few months of his life, whenever he would get fussy, I would put Diane on and it would calm him. Weird, eh?

Ray, he's great...way to start off baby's great taste in music.