Tuesday 1 July 2008

Child wishing in the whispering room

As much as it sounds like an Enid Blyton tale from 'the faraway tree', it's not. It's my somewhat hazy account of this morning's trip to specialist number 2.

I knew it just wasn't going to go according to plan when I saw the crocs.

Every single nurse, lab assistant, and doctor that passed us sitting in the whispering room was wearing them. Crocs.

So there we sat, in the whispering room where no one makes eye contact with anyone else.

Magazines got flicked through, phones got checked and doubled checked, and throats were cleared.

It took all my restraint not to lean over to the guy next to me and ask 'So, what are you in for then?'

One by one the names were called, and all manner of couples, individual ladies, and a uniformed police man gathered their bits and pieces and left the whispering room.

Our appointment time came and went, when ET had the audacity to announce she had to go to the bathroom.

No. fucking. way.

She was not me leaving there, undoubtedly to be called by the doctor while on my own.
Rubbing my beer belly, and slowly waddling after the doctor would have raised a few eyebrows, even here in the mix n'match mummy & daddy clinic.

So, she held her piddle, and I held my tongue.

Finally we got whisper-summoned, and took our places across from a very intelligent looking doctor.
'So, what can I do for you?' she asked, proving once again you should never judge a book by it's cover.

'Er, short back and sides with a little off the top you infuriating mare!' I didn't reply.

ET launched into our background which the good doctor ignored and quizzed us on anyway, despite having just been told, and having our records from the last specialist in front of her.

'How long have you had a child wish?' she inquired.

'A bloody WHAT?' we gaped at each other.

'You know, a 'child wish', - "kinderwens" '

Glad I hadn't actually taken a wrong turn and ended up in neverneverland, I accepted her horrifically literal translation of the Dutch term for a desire to have a family, and moved on with the discussion.

When I say 'discussion' I of course mean the 5 minutes she spent to tell us that they would normally do nothing for people in our situation.

ET: 'Nothing?'

Doc: 'No'

Me: 'Seriously, where are the cameras?'

Doc: 'What?'

ET & Me: 'Nothing'

We were advised to go home, keep trying, for 9 months more, which would bring us to the magic 24 cycles when mystical doors of opportunity and wonderous avenues of treatment would become available.

She shuffled her papers a few times, started to get out of her chair, but we just could not budge

Maybe it was the despair she saw in ET's eyes, or the plan to beat her about the head with the plastic uterus on her desk she saw in mine, but she caved a little and said she would discuss our options with "the board".

We 'may' have a possibility to check for tubular blockage, we 'may' have a cycle monitored, but it's all in the hands of "the board".

As Pacino-esque as it may sound, it's nowhere near as efficient, it will be 16 days before we get a phone call informing us of this almighty gathering's decision, which inexplicably takes place - this afternoon.

We went in with a lifeline, and brought it out in tatters.


Anonymous said...

I've never understood how a doctor can say there is nothing they can do before 24 cycles! I mean what the hell...thats a lot of time. Just remember your not alone, and only 8 more cycles to go...I know it sucks, we've got 6.

Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] said...

Good God. I can't imagine. I wish it would go better.

What the crap do I say?

Anonymous said...

I think you should attend this "board" meeting Al Capone style with a baseball bat in hand to smash any fucker that does not do what you are asking them to do. 24 months? Why? What's wrong with 15? How does 9 more make any more difference to intent or desire? Sons o' bitches.

Anonymous said...

Like Hockyman said, how the hell doesa few extra months change things?

And why on EARTH does it take them so long to get back to you when they meet today?


Horse Chick said...

OMG!! Obviously that Dr. has absolutely NO "bedside" manner" whatsoever!! And as sexist as it may sound, that behavior coming from a woman OB/GYN is completley unacceptable!!! I am so sorry you and ET had to deal with that CRAP! The CROCS somehow must suck the empathy clean out of those people!
I am curious though, is Holland's health care system nationalized/socialized, private, or both? (in a perfect world that shouldn't make a difference...)
I'm praying "the board" sees the light and makes the right decision for you guys!! May the next 16 days fly by for you both.

Jen W said...

I'll keep my fingers crossed that "the board" approves. What's up with that????

Tiffany said...

I know I live in the US but that seems weird that they have to talk to a board? Why won't they just check yall out and see if there are any blockages? I had to have that procedure and i had endometriosis. That totally sucks that they won't help you. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you. And you should check out my post about how I wanted to punch a pregnant woman in the face. It's about that dreaded waiting room. LOL Good luck!!

Anonymous said...

Dammit dammit dammit. How absolutely infuriating.

DD said...

Holy shit! Really, the standard is 24 months before a clinic will consider moving on treatment? I am speechless.

I agree with your observation of "Whispering Room". It's sad, really, and brings to mind do you go through this "alone" or do you try to find empathy not just through blogging, but in real life.

Kori said...

What a bunch of shit. I found very offensive the words "child wish." Sorry, bitch, we WISH for the lottery. or we wish we could go on vacation, but you don't fucking wish for a kid. I hate the bitch, I really do.

Fate's Granddaughter said...

So, so, so sorry. And for the record, I hate that Flo bitch as well. Not to mention all of the professionals who seem to have decided how long is long enough to wait for answers (and hope).

Martin said...

@Meghan - Yeah insane reasoning as far as I'm concerned now.
We have 9 to go, including this 'new' one.

@A whole lot of nothing - "You've been Punk'd" would be a good start.

@Hockeyman - And frankly, when I think about it, we COULD have just lied to them and said it was 24, what would they do then?

@Veronica - 17th July is the next opening for a telephone appointment.
Don't ask, I dunno.

@Horse Chick - You know, I can't think of the correct word to desrcibe Holland's Health service.
It's public, yet private, but not private!
You must have insurance, it's mandatory. The extent of cover you get just determines how much of the treatment you must pay yourself.
All the institutions are 'bound' by it, and the care is open to everyone.

The standards and treatments are excellent, cutting edge. The people care though, is hideous.

@Jen W - No idea, and if they do, it's little difference.
The monitoring we could do ourselves, the check for blockages will only be beneficial believe it or not, if they find a problem.

If we got the all-clear again, we have to continue trying.

@Tiffany - Oh lord I've been asking those questions myself, why don't they just do it???
I'll check out that post thanks.

@Marie - you said it.

@DD - you're not the only one. I thought the last place was fobbing us off, but no, this is the way it happens.

The waiting room, whispers, smiles, nods, no eye contact. Gives me the creeps.

@Kori - To be fair, the term is a direct translation of the DUtch term, and she was speaking another language for us.
I do find it a very creepy term though.
I'm not too fond of her myself at the moment.

@Fate's Granddaughter - Infuriating.
Someone, somewhere has decided that 24 months is the line, and it's
do or die by it.
She kept saying , as did the previous specialist, that our chances were better at home, than at a clinic.
I can't comprehend that fact at all.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry it didn't go how you wanted. Is Dutch healthcare socialized like Belgium? Cause over here, from what I gather, CB's sister and b-i-l didn't have to wait very long for fertility treatment.

Anonymous said...

"Child Wish" - sounds like something you'd make on a birthday candle; something you'd do on a whim.

Your distrust of crocs is well-documented, and apparently, completely valid.

For what it's worth, my sister and her husband just found out they're finally pregnant - precisely on the 24th cycle.

Hilary (Maya Papaya) said...

If I had more money, I would pay for you and ET to fly to Vancouver and go to the private fertility clinic that D and I went to. There is no reason you should be essentially turned away like that.

I am so sorry it didn't go better.

nh said...

24 months... that's horrid. I hated getting to 12 once we realised that something wasn't right! 24 months is just ARGH!!!! and as to 'child wish', WHAT was that?

I wish I could make this better - I wish medical professionals realised that these are our lives they are messing with... not some case!

Momo Fali said...

Yikes! Sounds a bit creepy. Since when are such emotional things handled by a "board"?

Anonymous said...

Sounds like Dr. Obvious missed class the day they covered how not to look and sound like a complete idiot. Was she justifying her billing rate? It infuriates me when people (Doctors, in particular) insist on wasting time by asking you questions that they already know the answers to. I vote for the plastic uterus upside the head. Was there a plastic buttocks model available?

Anonymous said...

24 months... 24! That.. I.. It... Argh... Speechless. And purple with frustration. I can't imagine just how royally pissed off you must be. My sympathies. And if you need a spare person to hold certain doctors down while you kick them in the kidneys, I am available and also own Doc Martens.

AnnD said...

Oh my God. It amazes me how medical professionals can be so callous and insensitive. I'm so sorry yet again for the injustice in the world perpetrated by both God and our fellow human beings. I hope "the board" keeps in mind that they are dealing with people who want to be loving parents and not patients with a "babywish."

Alyssa said...

I don't want to pry too much, but you haven't even been "treated" yet? They haven't even run tests to determine what could be the cause of not conceiving yet?

I know we live on opposite sides of the world and here in the US they typically say to try on your own for a year before seeking any additional support. Things could be very different in different places.

However; my cycle was very unpredictable (and sounds like ET's may be also) and my OBGYN was kind enough to get the ball rolling with Clomid when I first came to her after only about 6 months of trying. She also performed the test to see if there was tubular blockage. Granted, all of that didn't work and we had to then move on to a specialist, but at least they took action.

I know your heartbreak. Just keep at it and try not to let it put a damper on your sex life. God knows it can when sex suddenly seems like a chore that is on a time limit.

Good luck.

Sarah said...

I am so so sorry. Lets hope the board is on your side...just sucks all around.

Jenni said...

what a pile of horse shit, if you'll pardon the language. it's like they are torturing you two. so, basically, it will be at least another cycle before they even give you a decision on helping before the magic 24. What assholes.

anyway, I hope the make a decision in your favor.

Liz said...

I'm so sorry mate.

24 months is just so arbitry and yes, if you were half heartedly trying and didn't happen to get ET pregnant then waiting would be ok. But you know what to do, when, at what temperature, whilst ingesting the right vitamins you expect to get some kind of credit for that.

The only good thing about my massively irregular cycle is it is a beacon to doctors that something is wrong so they were willing to go in early.

Fingers crossed that the anonymous board see fit to get you looked at. If they read this blog I'm sure they would...

(oh and absolutely second the crocs thing - I pass a woman on my way to work who is obviously really 'zany' cause she has a red and purple pair and, wait for it, wears one of each - oh these ker-razy kidz).

Joy said...

24 months! Why don't they just tie you down, and stick electrodes into you gonads and call it what it really is-torture.

Anonymous said...

Oh man, I really hate to say I told you so but I believe I did a while back in a post. It's the same thing that happened to us. Getting our hopes up seeing different doctors and coming out feeling worse than when we went in.

I had 'the board' too. Only with me it was after they told me I had PCOS but refused to do IVF (even though we are FULLY insured for up to 5 cycles) because I am overweight. She said she'd take it to 'the board', but I'm convinced it was just a pat on the head and a way to get me out the door because nothing ever came of it.

It sucks, but here in NL the only way you appear to get pregnant is by the 'keep trying' method. It makes me wonder why these people go into gynecology and fertility in the first place because they just never seem to be any help.

I really do hope it works out for you though! (yah I'm sure that's too little too late after my rant there, but .. ya know.. keepin' it real and all that).

Oh and the crocs. I confess, I have a pair... but they are black and have no bits on them. They are just so comfy!

Tara R. said...

You showed much more restraint than I would have. The hussy would have been wearing that plastic uterus - well 'wearing' might not be the correct word. DAMN... just plain ol' DAMN!

Anonymous said...

Not sure how the system works there but are there alternate private healthcare options that might be more co-operative? Although I'm sure you've been there already.

Martin said...

@Lilacspecs - Like i mentioned to you earlier, we would get treatment, if they found something wrong, which they would only do if they treated us, which they will only do if they find something wrong, which they...etc etc

@Ginny - That's great news for your family Ginny, but right on cycle 24. Darwin eh?

@Hilary - Thanks for the kind words. We are too.

@nh - I know you understand the frustration. Thank you.

@Momo Fali - Since we live in the worlds best kept communist secret.

@Nukedad - The only asshole was sitting across from me I think.

@May - Purple with frustration is so right. Fit to burst right now.
Thanks May.

@AnnD - Thank you, I know.

@Alyssa - We have had basic tests, semen analysis, bloods, hormones level checks and a quick ultrasound.
Regarding use of clomid or checking for blockages, we can't even get near it.

Thanks for that.

@Sarah - the 'board' won't make much difference, we could monitor ourselves, so only the HSG would be of real interest.
And they will only act afterwards should they find a problem anyway!

@Jenni - As I just said to Sarah, it won't make much difference either way, we are on our own for now.

@Womb for improvement - YES.
We spent half the appointment telling her that YES we know what an OPK is, we know how to count to 28, we know what hole it goes in.
We know where, when, how and who, and then some.

As bad as it sounds, I WISH they had found something wrong, so they would act on it.

As far as I'm concerned really, the board can fuck themselves.

@Deborah - that, at this stage, would be a relief.

@Breigh - THANK YOU! You've proven I'm not bonkers, this DOES happen here.
I feel a bit better knowing you know what I'm talking about.
but dude, Crocs suck.

@Tara R - No doubt I'll be replaying various murderous methods in my head for the next 50 years or whatever.

@Quickroute - The Dutch system is odd, comparatively.
It's all public, with mandatory insurance, but with some 'public' facilities coasting more than others.
The standards are high, but the system, obviously has it faults.
There are no more avenues for us, facility wise in this country.

MarĂ­a said...

I was like...lost. This entire post. :(

Anonymous said...

I've got nowt constructive/funny or sarcastic to say but don't want you to think I've turned into a lurker.

Did you read Tuppenny Feefo and Junks too? I still have my Magic Faraway Tree books from when I was a little un. Moonface and Silky and Wishy Washy wasn't it who threw the dirty water down the tree?

Sorry Guys.

James (SeattleDad) said...

Holy Shit, that is the official run-around! Does Health care only pay at the 24 month mark there? Would be better than here where no fertility is covered. We just payed off our failed IVF after two years. Ouch.

Ian Newbold said...

What an absolute Croc of fucking shit. Pardon the pun, but I think the language is justified.

I hope they aren't wasting your time, not really giving you a proper second opinion. I also hope the 'board' help you explore your options, pre 24 cycles.

Oh, and as for "Child Wish" you can shove that up your backside with a very long stick.

sltbee69 said...

Geesh! 24 months!! That is totally pathetic! It's just not right, that's what. I'm so sorry they can't be a bit more sympathetic and just check for blockages. I'm keeping my fingers crossed the board approves you but sadly I have a feeling she was just saying it to pacify you. ((HUGS))

Anonymous said...

As soon as I read the word Crocs alarm bells went off in my head!

Still here keeping absolutely everything crossed for a +ive outcome from the board mtg.

Kandi said...

Crocs.... bad omen. "child wish"? bad karma. I hope HOPE happens in 16 days.

Anonymous said...



I don't know if it's any different in other countries, but have you considered emigrating to somewhere that they may actually take you seriously?

BTW: I went visual on the beating around the head with the plastic uterus...thanks for that.

Putz said...

i don't know how to comment

frog ponds rock... said...

fuckfuckfuckityratbrainshitfuck. Now I am in tears.bloody stupid arsed dutch.

Anonymous said...

Unbelievable !!!!

The start of your post sounded a widdle humorous so I was expecting a happy ending.

Crapola !!!

Fingers crossed for you.

Anonymous said...

That is just crap.
I'm sorry but has this doctor had her child wish granted? She needs to walk in your shoes for a while. What a cow.
It sounds as though you are going to get no help from the red pants wearers at all.

I'm so sorry.

Anonymous said...

Are you planning on staying in Holland for that long? I remember reading in a previous post that you had made the decision to go back at some point in the future.

Although this wont in anyway make you feel better, it can apparently take up to two years to get pregnant once the female stops taking the pill (especially if they were a long term user), even if there is nothing wrong with either sex. Also, IVF is not a pleasant procedure, so maybe they want to give you guys a chance to get pregnant naturally. My completely unsolicited advice is to spend the next 9 cycles living like you did before you were trying for a baby, enjoy the summer, travel, visit family and friends and see if it can happen naturally. Most of all refresh yourselves.

dmarie said...

New to your blog. So sorry about the crap appointment. I hope the board comes back with an approval for you at least for the HSG. Unexplained IF is so frustrating for those that suffer from it.

Our Crooked Tree said...

"child wish" makes me think of the time my old neighbor asked me if I was "with child" when I was prego with Little Man...do I look like the effing Virgin Mary?

I can not believe the dos knee jerk reaction was to wait 24 cycles! Most docs I encounter will wait 12 before providing assistance. Either way I have hoping wishes for you guys!

GoaldeeBug said...

Dammit! I thought by blogging about Murphy over at my place he would stay away from you guys for a while. Apparently not :(

I tried honey!

Jill said...


I just got back from camping and was SO hoping for a great post from you today.

You've got to be shitting me! 12 months is the standard for "trying"... you've paid your dues. Why on this green earth are they making you wait for another 9 cycles.

This angers me... really, really angers me. I'm so sorry.

Anonymous said...

Crocs. CROCS!!!

You want me to do some pus filled, syphilis infected, haemorrhoid vibing for that arsehat doc? Cause you know I would totally do it for you. Just make sure you aren't within a few miles of her office, my aim has been a little off lately.

John Braine said...

That's insane in the membrane. He's looking for a death wish with his child wish.

And still your blog manages to be the most entertaining writing that I'm reading at the moment.

So, what are you in for then?' made me spurt my tea out. Couldn't help hearing it in that Homer voice he uses when he utters the classic line "I think he's talking to you"

River said...

Huh?? WHAT??? Has ET not already been tested to rule out such things as tube blockage? Seems to me that would be one of the first things to check, along with regular ovulation and checking your sperm count.

Dondi Tiples said...

Specialist #2 sucks! The crocs on all the medical staff were a bad omen to begin with. The fertility doll you got a while back would probably have been more effective than the lot of them combined.

Martin said...

@Immoral Matriarch - Lemme see, we really really want a baby, can't seem to have one or get help to have one.

For the rest, try babelfish.

@Gail - The first two I've no idea but I remember the faraway tree well.
Wishy Washy was the trouble makre yes.


@James Austin - we are reasonably covered for the treatments, and as far as I know there are no time limits on it.
The cost is something often over looked too.
Run around indeed.

@Single Parent Dad - I'm not optimistic for what they'll do before 24 months.
The mention of acting beforehand was lip service I believe.

@sltbee69 - Thank you very much. I have the same feeling myself.

@Irish Diaspora - Don't waste your time.

@Kandi - Thanks, don't think so, but thanks.

@Tracey - Emigrating isn't something that can happen overnight, and with the world full of economic doom and gloom, moving could leave us without the means to pay for the help.

@Putz - I know the feeling buddy. don't worry.

@Frogpondsrock - Don't you be worrying.

@Widdleshamrock - thanks.

@Tiff - It is, it really is.

@Sinead - we are looking at about 3 years more I think. but who knows. As I've said moving isn't an overnight thing, and we could lose the means we have to pay for help.
That was the nicest way of saying 'just relax' I've heard in a while.

@Dmarie - The HSG will only be of value if they find abnormalities, which is the insane thing.
Frustrating doesn't beging to explani it.

Thank you.

@Our Crooked Tree - thank you very much.

@Goaldeebug - did you rub it on, or ingest it?

@Jill - it's 'procedure'. Meh...

@Kelley - that would be funny, but ET works REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY close to it...

@John Braine - Nice rapping. It is madness though, no other word for it.

I'm glad I can come here and be silly, otherwise I'd be swinging from a plum tree by now.

Homer is a hero, gone a bit off the rails, but there's enough stuff there to make you laugh for a week.

@River - They havent physically checked the tubes, no. They won't.
They have run bloods etc which indicate no reason for a blockage.

We have had all the basic done, and come to think of it, we have had the basics done ourselves.

It WOULD be a first check in my book too.

Martin said...

@Dondi Tiples - Sorry, just missed you.

Joking aside, it looks like we have to return to being silly and hoping and praying on dolls and booties and the like.

Silly in this day and age.

Anonymous said...

OMG, I am so angry on your behalf!! They can't leave you hanging like this. I don't know what the health system is like over there compared to Ireland, but here if you have been trying over a year you should get some kind of a referral for a lap and dye at least. That is just mad.

Check out this web address:

These are the people we are with. The ethos has very heavy emphasis on Catholicism, which you have to take with a pinch of salt if you are not that way inclined, but if they get you a live birth at the end of it, then it's worth it. They have one practitioner based in Holland, so it might be worth a shot.

Still have steam coming out my ears after reading your post!

Anonymous said...

WOW, I really feel sorry for you guys. Our experience with the specialist were not nearly as rough and drawn out as yours. Maybe its just the difference in our countries. I'll keep reading and wishing good thoughts for you.

B said...

when I read "child wish" I had some sort of odd 1984 style image in my head... of course I always have some odd 1984 style image in my head.

'Er, short back and sides with a little off the top you infuriating mare!' That would've been brilliant.

Did you ask Graham Linehan for the Father Ted fertility relic thing?

The lifeline is still there though isn't it? just 8 months away. Thats only the length of one bad Pink Floyd song.

Anonymous said...

It's settled..you need to move. It sounds like you are surrounded by crazy people. What kind of a place asks you to try for 2 years before they'll consider any sort of intervention??!!!

Anonymous said...

absolutely awful. Agreed you must move. Or give this woman a shot -- you have 8 months to kill after all.


there is a name on the bottom of a woman in Holland. Couldn't hurt to try. Warning they don't do IVF and IUI, but they do try to find out what is wrong and fix it (be it hormonal, structural...) and they specialize in emotional support -- something sorely lacking in the Dutch canning factory, I mean, healthcare system.

The people in Italy fixed me (and not in the spay the dog sense.)

Anonymous said...

geeksinrome - that's who we are with too, in Galway! Check them out Xbox, it's well worth a look. I didn't need a GP referral, just rang them up and they put us in their waiting list.

Martin said...

@Jane G - unless there is an indicatation that there is an issue (not getting pregnant aside) they won't do it yet.

I'm going to look at that for sure, I see Geeks in Rome has suggest the same/similar.

Relax woman, it's not good for you ;0)

thanks very very much for the link.

@Married Leos - I find it hard to believe the difference myself, but thanks, genuinely.

@B - I didn't bother Mr Lenehan yet no.
I'm just thinking how bizarre your comment must read to everyone else, is it bad that I understand every words of it!

@Calli's Mama - if we could be teleported to the US right now, we'd be gone in a flash.
Bizarre, just bizarre.

@Geeks in Rome - I'm going to have a look and see what it is.

Funny you and Jane G linked the same thing within a few minutes.

I don't care what the methodology is! pagan solstice dancing if need be!

Thanks very much also.

Anonymous said...

All of my wishes today will be for you and ET to catch a flippin' break already. I'm so sorry for this heartbattering ride you're on.

Anonymous said...

Definately give it a go. There are a few things you should be prepared for with this progamme. One is that it can seem like a long and winding road at times. We have been with them since Nov 07, and this is the first month we were given the go ahead to ttc. They will want you to take a few months to find the problem first. This is done by charting cervical mucous cycles, and monthly blood tests for progesterone and oestradiol. Once they have found what the issue is, they then start with the meds. We are on our first cycle of clomid and our fourth of pregnyl injections. They have also referred me for a lap and dye, all things that my gynae had no notion of doing.

The other thing, as I said to you already, is that there's a very heavy emphasis on religion in their manual/reading material, that we were quite taken aback by at first. References to Pope Paul's encyclical, quotes from the bible, and general references to "artificial" contraception being the root of all society's ills. Now having said that, the Drs themselves don't give you this, but it's all there in the manual.

However, as you said, I'd go for pagan solstice dancing (clothing optional!) at this stage if it got us a baby of our own. Also, they are very honest, so if they've done all they can for you, they won't string you along.

Good luck with it. I really hope you and ET get some answers soon and that all your hopes come true.

Anonymous said...

Jaysus, you really do get a lot of comments, don't you. Sounds a bit harsh to have to wait er (*takes shoes off to add up in head*) 2 YEARS?? Bloody hell, you need to move x

Martin said...

@Erika - Thanks for that Erika,. Look after yourselves there!

@Jane G - Et seems interested, which is always useful when the womb owner is on board. My only fear is that waiting time. You say Nov 07, and there are 40 of these guys in Ireland, there is 1 here, with 16m population, and I don't know the location yet....yikes.

But I'm going to contact her I think for information at least.
Thanks again.

@English Mum -
Yeah and they are nice commentators too eh?

2 bloody years yeah, before they'll do anything beyond the basic 'have you got a willy' test.

A couple of redundancy packages and we would be off like a shot!

Arjan said...

Good luck with waiting...again.
Sometimes the people in the Dutch hostitals can be real drones.

Unknown said...

Oh man, I'm so using child wish.

Seriously, you guys are in my prayers...wish I was on that board.

River said...

Do they have ultrasound available? A quick scan could pinpoint any blockage quick smart. Then you'd know. It doesn't make sense to me that they won't check this.

Lee said...


Please tell me that you have government funded health care there. What you went through can't possibly happen in privatized health care.

And 16 farking days? Give me a break!

You have my sympathy.

Come to the States! We charge a fortune for insurance, but we're much quicker!

Good luck!

(I always recommend drinking it off)

Rikki said...

Freakin' eh!

Sorry that the visit got you nowhere fast. 24 months seems ridiculous, lets hope you never have to see the smug doctor's face again.

OT- As a reader of your blog, I think it is amazing that you respond to the comments you get. I know it must take a lot of time. Its very nice of you.

Martin said...

@Arjan - I DO really think the Dutch facilities and treatments are 'technically' excellent, but it's the personal care that fails. It's probably a lot to do with such alarge population in a small country.

@Huckdoll - Thanks.

@River - She's had an ultrasound, no problems found.
You're telling me!

@Lee - It's an odd situation, it's nationalised, but you pay for evrything via our mandator insurance.

If circumstances allowed, we'd be in the US like a shot.

@Rikki - I hope so too.
Re: Comments, well, it can't always happen but it just would be bizarre to me to not respond to someone talking to me!

loveyh said...

Good luck. I have been there--it took two years for us to have terror #1, but terror #2 came seven months after we started trying. We had started the tests as well...and I was only 23 at the time, so I was FREAKED. OUT.

I'm on the hunt for fertility icons to send you!;)

Anonymous said...

I might be time for a trip back to NOLA. Seriously. Get the treatment necessary and this is over. Is it because of the fact that it's government-regulated medicine?

Mrs4444 said...

I could strangle that doctor (or at least slap her in the face with her crocs!)

Lee said...

Maine(and all of New England) is lovely this time of year, but even better in the fall!)

Martin said...

@loveyh - very kind, honestly, but no need!

@Nola - Procedure basically, they play the percentages, this way will suit 95% of couples that come to them. We are 'unexplained' and therefore not so important.

@Mrs4444 - join the queue!

@Lee - Hold that thought!

Anonymous said...

Just read your reply to Nola.

Sounds like they have put you in the too hard basket. They could still try stuff and see where it goes . You would know there is no guarantee, as there is no known cause for the fertility challenges you are experiencing.

Surely it would be better than doing nothing.

Anonymous said...

In my humble fashion opinion, the choice to wear Crocs to your place of business demonstrates a frontal lobe shortcoming and diminished decision-making capacities.

WTH? I don't know what made me more mad -- the 24 month rule or the 16 DAYS to get back to you on a meeting that takes place today. Seriously? The board has to approve a simple squirt of dye into ET's bits to see if there's a blockage of some kind? That's absurd.

You should become U.S. citizens.

Martin said...

@WiddleShamrock - that's exactly it, its a percentages game, they can solve 95% of peoples issues this way, so the extra effort for the unexplained 5% is not worth it.
They believe.

@Deb - the crocs are a part of the shish-whispering-nodding-smiling room silence maintenance.

The board has to do that yes, and they will say no.

Jo Beaufoix said...

Bloody hell you showed some restraint there. I can't believe that's all you got. So sorry xbox.

Martin said...

@Jo Beaufoix - that's all she wrote, as the saying goes Jo, that's the LOT.

Anonymous said...

Xbox, just catching up here after being off the blogs for a few days ... 24 months is really insane! Would they speed things up for you if you were younger? But then that would be age discrimination, wouldn't it?

I still can't believe that some of the testing like HSG isn't available to you yet, when here it's considered diagnostic. Blocked tubes could at least be ruled out. It took us almost another 24 months of testing, drug therapy, IUIs and IVF to get pregnant again, with our girlie.

Crocs and a childwish; sounds a bit like a really bad kids' cartoon.

My heart is just aching for you and ET right now, X. May something wonderful happen for you before those 9 cycles are up.

Anonymous said...

Shit, I meant would it be shorter wait time if you were OLDER?!!

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry - that sucks and wipes. I've thrown away my crocs as a gesture of solidarity.

Martin said...

@Karen MEG - They DO act quicker the older you are, over 35 gets priority again.

There is some logic to that.


@Bsouth - Please don't ever wear them will reading this?

Anonymous said...

Never ever, I promise (after I'd translated your interesting typing again!).

justmylife said...

What can I say? Doctor's suck and there is nothing you can do about it. I know I have tried. I wish the board could read the comments here, feel the love. Good luck to both of you!

Martin said...

@Bsouth - sometimes my typing goes astray, but you get the jist of it.

@Justmylife - they do indeed suck, big time. thank you!

Duena said...

I realize this is from eons ago but I'm reading back -as you know- and had to ask.

Is this 24 tries madness connected to funds? As in they won't do proper IVF and so on because you're being financed and these are the rules?

We started naturally TTC last Dec. So 5 months later we had already done the batch of tests that declared us un-Clived and then 7 months later we were stabbing my belly and our pockets.

Martin said...

@Alexandria - It is purely based on statistics.
They haven't found anything wrong, so statistically, they say, we still have a better chance of conceiving naturally than through medical intervention.

At 24 months, the statistics change.

If they HAD found something wrong they would treat it now.

It's a funny, albeit semi-understandable policy.