Thursday 8 October 2009

You'll take someone's eye out with that

Even though it would undoubtedly make 'him' quite famous, or 'her' Jerry Springer famous, not to mention us filthy rich, I have to quell a myth.

That is not, I repeat not, an enormous penis posing for the cameras on the ultrasound picture.

Genitalia fatter than our arms is not a family characteristic. A fact which allows the female members to breathe a sigh of relief. And walk in straight lines.

That is not to say that there is, or isn't, a normal sized one tucked away in there somewhere, curled up just waiting to be a source of shame and embarrassment for the child, and probable hilarity for everyone else.

Meanwhile, back on the ranch, yesterday marked 21 weeks.

It's been a week in which we laid 20% of a floor, we chose a colour I previously never knew existed, and we finally brought home a drawer that the baby could sleep in, if it were able to assemble flat-pack furniture.

Under the heading of 'you couldn't make it up', ET's pregnancy brain made her adamant that somewhere in the house we have chocolate covered Doritos.

We don't. Thankfully.


Veronica said...

Chocolate covered doritos sound nicer than they probably should to me right now.

And it looks like a leg. Not a penis.

Mwa said...

You're not going to tell? You have a weird sense of privacy, mister.

Martin said...

@Veronica – Thought of it turned my stomach.

@Mwa – I would argue that others have a weird sense of entitlement.

River said...

How could anyone possibly mistake that leg for a penis? It's far too large and in the wrong spot.
Chocolate covered Doritos? Hmmm

ME! said...

are you shopping at Ikea?!?! LOL- flat packed furniture. :) That would be a HUGE um...'third' leg. Holy mackrel- like as big is his/her head!!!!!


:) yeah for 21 weeks.

Double wow.

I am so happy for you all!

Jane G said...

We only said it *looked* like an enormous langer. Just an observation!

Jo said...

Haha, chocolate covered Doritos. Niall laughed at me for walking out of the supermarket with crisps in one hand and a Cadbury's Caramel in the other when I was pregnant because it was the first time he'd seen me acting like a stereotype :)

So good together though, pregnant or not.

Ms. Moon said...

She hasn't demanded a taco salad at two a.m. yet? Lucky you.
It's the BABY who wants these things. Not your wife. The BABY.

AnnB said...

That's not an enlarged appendage, it's a packet of Chocolate covered Doritos - herself isn't imagining things!!

Liz said...

I've heard of chocolate-covered mini-pretzels - a possible substitute?

And I assume the colour you have not heard of cannot be named in case it hints at his or her gender or not gender.

Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] said...

Yeah, chocolate covered Doritos sounds nasty even to me.

I second Mwa. But I'll say you have a weird sense of everything, tho.

AnnD said...

Yeah, I figured that was a leg or something because if that was his penis, he would be a record-breaker already!

And chocolate covered Doritos would be soooo easy to make! You should give it a shot. Just for ET!

Russ said...

Oddly, I'd give chocolate covered doritos a go. In all likelihood, it will be a very bad idea, but you never know.

Jill said...

Awe Xbox... he/she looks JUST like you! :)

WeaselMomma said...

I hope you went out and bought chocolate and Doritos and made her this concoction. It would have mede for great video to watch her devour it.

Putz said...

river it is just the right size and just in the right spot, but alas, it is NOT A PENNIS....i was mistaken ...nappy told you to tell me this...he is paying me much mula to say this...doesen't want to get everybody excited about his entiltlement, but just bewtween us two, he told me the truth in conficentality, but notA PENNIS

BusyDad said...

We just got our ultrasound yesterday. As of now, our kid is just a little blob. I like to think of that as my kid growing "penis first"

Sarah said...

Really, dont honestly think any of us actually thought that was a PENIS do you?!

Come on now...

tiff(threeringcircus) said...

mmmmmm chocolate covered doritos *drool*
If they don't exist, then they should.

Also; I would be seriously worried if that appendabe were a penis.

Zakary said...

Chocolate covered Doritos don't exist.

But they should.

Anonymous said...

I think you ought to, for the sake of your beautiful grump, make those Doritos for her. I'm not even pregnant and they sound good. You'd be amazed what a little dark chocolate could pair with.

Anonymous said...

Also, it would appear someone has done it:

WhatAboutNovember said...

*shudder* chocolate covered Doritos.

And don't think I can't tell that you made that whole story up just so you could post another pic of that beautiful little baby. :)

Momma said...

Chocolate and doritos sounds so gross to me but then again the only things I wanted to eat were orange popsicles, pickles and feta cheese....together! So yummy, and it actually helped to curb my all-the-time-pregnancy sickness!

I still swear it's a girl and those look like some ass-kicking legs she's got going on! Maybe she'll be a "footballer" (soccer for us Americans)!

Paddy in BA (Quickroute) said...

Who left a KFC drumstick in there?

AnnD said...

I had to log back on and just tell you that I can't get the idea of chocolate covered Doritos out of my mind since I read this blog!

They sound so fabulous!

James (SeattleDad) said...

You need one of those 4D ultrasounds so you can put this speculation to rest.

Not Afraid to Use It said...

We were lucky our kids 'cooperated' during their ultrasounds, but I know many parents whose kids kept the good hidden. See? The belligerence is already starting.

I Am Emily... said...

I knew it was a leg! You know if you have a rough idea what you are looking for you can see what gender the baby is before they tell you. I never found out but it's easy to see a girl's bits, because for one, there is a lack of penis. lol. People asked me if I could see anything and I would tell them that it was either a girl, or a boy who is going to have a very hard life!

Anonymous said...

Oh YUM...salt (dorito) and sweet (chocolate)...what can possibly be bad about that??? And we have lousy chocolate in the least you can get hooked up with real quality Belgian chocolate...a must make to make ET do a little happy dance!

Martin said...

@River - :-)

@Lorza - Yes, and yes !

@Jane G - outrageous Ms G.

@jothemama - no no no!

@Ms. Moon - give it time!

@AnnB - ;-)

@womb for improvement - Green. -ish !

@Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] - meh

@AnnD - dont be encouraging it!

@Russ - no, doesnt appeal to me at all

@Jill - I thought I was clear it was NOT a huge penis?

@WeaselMomma - er, no!

@Putz - Behave putz...

@BusyDad - good to hear things going well!

@Sarah - dunno, depends on how often you see one I suppose

@tiff(threeringcircus) - worried/proud...whatever.

@ZDub - Nooooooooooo.

@showmeyourcookies - that was you wasn't it!

@WhatAboutNovember - ...maybe :-)

@Momma - I love it whe you Americans try to speak proper ;-)

@Quickroute - **sheepishly puts hand up**

@AnnD - hahaha, no, dont do it!

@James (SeattleDad) - already booked :-)

@Not Afraid to Use It - s/he co-operated fine, it's just me who's not ;-)

@Tanya - indeed!

@hotmamamia - swiss all the way for me.

nola said...

What a cutie!!!! So exciting, eh? Loved all the u/s peeks.

Missives From Suburbia said...

You don't have a penis as thick as your arm? That's disappointing.

Karen MEG said...

"Twig and berries" are the only way to tell for sure. That's the terminology used by someone around here when we saw the first u/s:

"That's my boy!".

I have a similar photo here. Amazing how a half-Asian baby can look identical to an Irish wee one, given the right circumstances :).

Exciting times, my friend.

Anonymous said...

WHOA--that is one beautiful leg/foot/appendage.

Long after my pregnancies ended, my mother-in-law brought me a tin of chocolate covered potato chips. The thought made me ill... until the wee hours one PMS night, when I NEEDED CHOCOLATE and that was all there was. They were surprisingly tasty. I ate every last one.

Irrational Dad said...

*wipes sweat from brow* I just spent the last I-don't-know-how-long reading every post from June to present. Glad to hear things FINALLY worked out in yours and ET's favor. Looking forward to reading about the rest of this pregnancy, and really looking forward to reading about your take on fatherhood.

Martin said...

@nola - Very! very much so.

@Missives From Suburbia - at risl of ridicule I shan't answer that.

@Karen MEG - Thats not even our kid, I googled it ;-)

@Hyphen Mama - sounds simply vile.

@Joe @ IrrationalDad - 52 minutes ;-) and to be honest, all the decent stuff was long before that ;-)
Welcome, and cheers.

Anonymous said...

Um, yuck on the chocolate covered dorito front. In fact, it made me shudder a bit!

Yay for 21 weeks though!! Well done both of you.

If you have a boy he'll be born with an inate knowledge of how to put together flat pack furniture. Or so he'll think.

Blues said...

Thanks for clearing that up. I was beginning to think you had superhuman genes.

Dondi Tiples said...

the food cravings part of pregnancy can be a real adventure. be prepared for late night excursions to find grilled hotdogs on a stick (the ones in the freezer will never do), or to pack her a breakfast/lunch/dinner of sisig (chopped pig's head), with sisig sandwiches for tea.