Tuesday 9 March 2010

Lucky charms

We’ve had it easy in a way, ET and I.

We are relatively young, we were 'only' trying to conceive for a couple of years, and we never had to face a loss. I know many who read here from time to time who have faced much harder times, and many still do.

One such couple is Judith and Bruce.

In October 2008, I got an email from Judith just saying 'hello'. By that point, Judith and her husband Bruce had already been trying to have a child for 6 years. Conceiving wasn’t an issue, over the years they conceived, and lost, 4 children. All of them before 8 weeks.

From then on we chatted regularly, keeping each other informed of each appointments, results, and the failures. Early last year Judith told me that they had decided to give it one more try. Almost 40, and after so many years on the rollercoaster, enough had become enough.

Her last attempt would be via an IUI, as soon as she could get clearance to go ahead with it. Her last ‘old fashioned’ cycle ended in failure on the same day that ours did, and she started the monitoring for follicle development before IUI at the same time we did.

In a remarkable act of cyber menstrual synchronisation , after months of her and I chatting, Judith and ET both had their IUIs on the same day, barely 25 miles apart. After more than one heart in mouth moment, she was able to confirm that she too was pregnant.

Just like us, their expected due date was the 17th February, 2010.

From that point on I dreaded seeing emails from Judith hit my inbox. With her history of early losses the odds were against her, and I truly had no idea what I would be able to say to her if this child were to not make it, their fifth. At a loss for something constructive to say, I told her we could be each other’s lucky charms.

Every second day she gave me updates, and 2 weeks became 4, which became 6, and 8, and 12. Her cautiousness and doubt eventually gave way to excitement. 20, then 30 weeks passed as did her 40th birthday, and I last heard from Judith at 39 weeks and 4 days.

While ET and I flopped around the house, one of us metaphorically and the other physically bursting at the seams in anticipation and irritation, Judith and Bruce were getting used to life with their baby boy, who is now home with his mam and dad, and thriving.

For the two of them as a couple, the three of them as a new family, and anyone who might be buoyed by their story and outcome, I simply could not be happier.

For the tiniest rocker in Holland:


Jenni said...

How wonderful! Congratulations to them.

Ms. Moon said...

What heart and sweetness. Thanks for telling us about this- we need news like this. I wish them so much happiness.

The Moiderer said...

What a lovely uplifting story. Congrats to Judith and Bruce

Hockeymandad said...

I'm such a sucker and a sap for great tales like this. Congrats to them and again congrats to you.

Now both of you....get some sleep! haha

Putz said...

hey man, i expected a miserable story>>>thanks to god for them pulling it off>>>of course god bless to them for the miracle>>>our karen will be 42 this april>>>so how old is your oldest, nappy???????????????i am assuming you will be trying for a BROTHER FOR SANNIE>>>I HASVER TO BE RIGHT ABOUT YOU HAVING A BOY>>>JUST HAVE TO BE RIGHT

Mwa said...

What a wonderful story. I held my breath all the way through that, hoping for a happy end.

Linda said...

Thanks for sharing their story, and I am so glad to hear a happy ending.

Bonnie B. said...

Wonderful, heart-warming news. Thanks for sharing. And congrats to the new parents!!

Anonymous said...

That is so exciting!!!

Horse Chick said...

Thank you for writing about Judith & Bruce. It seems you & ET really were "Lucky Charms" for them!
Martin, I wonder, do you realize (at all) the number of people you've touched with your writing? Thank you again for sharing your thoughts with us all!!

areyoukiddingme said...

Congratulations, Judith and Bruce! And look! Instant boyfriend for Sanne! (you know, in case she doesn't take after ET.)

Unknown said...

Thanks Martin! Really appreciated that!!! W,E,L

Karen said...

Been reading your blog for a long while now, and I'm only just getting around to congratulating you. I am so very happy for your family, and now for this one as well. :)

AnnD said...

What a fabulous story! One I needed to hear right now. Bless them and their little man!

I guess I'll have to tell Jameson that Sanne is already spoken for. [wink, wink]

tiff(threeringcircus) said...

Beast wishes to them.

What a lovely story to start the day with.

J from Ireland said...

Aw that is fantastic, congratulations to them!!

Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] said...

I see an arranged marriage in their futures.

Veronica Foale said...

Congratulations to Judith and Bruce!

Geeks in Rome said...

I love the smell of success! (stinky diapers!! hooray!)

congrats to your friends. So glad there were two very happy endings.

Susanica said...

Wow. I held my breath through your whole story. What a wonderful, wonderful ending. Or beginning. Many congrats to Judith and Bruce. I'm guessing your kids will have some very special play dates! -M

Ali said...

That's a wonderful story. Congratulations to them. That's made my day.

Anonymous said...

I was worried until the end (obvs). Great outcome...great news!

Deb said...

Congratulations to them!!

River said...

Oh, congratulations to Judith and Bruce. What a journey they've had.

Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo said...

Angie stole my comment...

Great minds and all that.

IrishNYC said...

Congrats to Judith and Bruce!

hotmamamia said...

Two miracles...how wonderful to know they really do happen... congrats to them as well! An instant playgroup for ET and Sanne!

Anonymous said...

How beautiful, I'm happy for them too!!! If they're reading this, CONGRATS!


Amanda Bowden said...

How perfect!!!! So happy for them!

Pleased to announce at last that my baby boy arrived, 23 hours ago and is just adorable!

Lorna said...

I'm so delighted for them, lucky charms for each other indeed. Great stuff.

Gail said...

Im going to have to stop reading your blog. You have given me a lump in my throat again!
It makes you think sometimes doesn't it?????

Iota said...

Lovely story.

It's too easy to forget about the stories that don't end happily, but I'm glad this one did.

Martin said...

@Jenni - Yes, it is.

@Ms. Moon - Yes it is a great sucess story.

@The Moiderer - Absolutely, congratulations.

@Hockeymandad - any year now...

@Putz - Misery don't live here any more Putz...

@Mwa - a happy ending indeed

@Linda - Yes!

@Bonnie B. - :-)

@Christa - Long time coming.

@Horse Chick - and vice versa I think

@areyoukiddingme - hahaha

@Warren - Very welcome, I couldn't be happier.

@Karen - thank you

@AnnD - we need to start talking trust funds

@tiff(threeringcircus) - 'Beast' ? :-)

@J from Ireland - yes!

@Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] - You yanks...

@Veronica - Yeah!

@Geeks in Rome - aboslutely, very happy.

@Susanica - funny old world.

@Ali - it certainly is!

@mooneyequalsmc2 - is really really is.

@Deb - yes!

@River - yes, quite a long hard one.

@Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo - fools seldom differ

@IrishNYC - Indeed!

@hotmamamia - hard work and perseverence

@livingrightnow - they are ;-)

@Amanda Bowden - Finally! congratulations! Go enjoy!

@Lorna - yes, lovely.

@Gail - all.the.time.

@Iota - I don't think it's easy at all, it's just harder to find the right encouragement.
This is the best I can do in a way.