Thursday 25 March 2010

Pressing snooze

We were oh so very clever.

We had it all planned, were full of very grand notions, we knew how it would all work.

Pas de problème!

We were oh so very wrong.

Mango’s bedroom was to serve as the magic room. The place where she would be cleaned and changed and fed and made presentable once again to the world. This was also to be the case while she slept in our room.

The only impact on our bedtime routine would be the occasional whimper, from the child, not us, as she is whisked away to the magic room before silently being returned to join the blissfully sleeping parent. Our den of peace and tranquility and comfort should not face upheaval of any sort.

A couple of days short of 5 weeks and it is all arse over tit.

ET, being the lucky on-maternity-leave critter that she is, is champion of ‘the turnaround’.

The turnaround is the nappy change and feed that takes place in the dead of night. In the early days this involved a child roaring her head off, lights being switched on, kettles being boiled, drawers being open and shut, cold feet on hard floors, and a struggle to resettle the child when all the the various activities had been completed.

Now the turnaround is different. Now the turnaround is done in moments, stealth like actions carried out by a practically sleeping mammy beside a eyelid flickering daddy upon a snoozing child. The cost of such a change is high though. Gone are our fantasies of an undisturbed sleeping environment, and here to stay is a bed surrounded by nappies, wipes, bottles, bottle warmers, nappy bags, formula measures and a sweatshop worth of spit up cloths.

Everything is taken to bed with us. Where previously the only discomfort in the bed would have been a stray knee or wild elbow, we are now just as likely to have our slumber disrupted by rolling over on a formula scoop, or by the rustle of a plastic bag, or by the dripping of a cooling bottle on our pillow.

It’s like sleeping in a skip out the back of a baby shop. A duvet in a dumpster. One huge nest of humanity where everything and anything is within an arm’s reach.

But for now, she sleeps. So, pas de problème!


Kori said...

Oh my heavens, and waking up next toaht milky sweet smell, and the cuddling....saigh, pas de problem at all.

Edith said...

We actually bought a very cheap commode at Ikea (yeah where else) for 25 euro, to put in the bedroom.
It's handy cause it can be moved around, it's very light.
Changing a baby boy on your bed isn't handy.......
Pee everywhere! Last night on my foot! LOL

unmitigated me said...

I'm sure the maid will take care of all the mess.

unmitigated me said...

At least, that's what Hubs used to say. Until I pointed out that I was the fucking maid. He told me I was also the cleaning maid and the cooking maid. And yet he walks the earth, unharmed.

Barbara said...

You're a generous man.

I was allowed to sleep in the marital bed until the first wake up of the night at which point I had to go to the nursery, deal with the child and then spend the rest of the night in the spare room lest I disturb the husband's oh so necessary 8 hours a night.

I'm such a bloody walkover sometimes.

Kalei's Best Friend said...

U will find that what use to either shock or u swore u would never do, u now do... Whatever works for you is the key... In the end, this will just be something u and wifey and someday laugh at....

Sadia said...

Y'know, I'd never quite thought about how convenient it was to keep my boobs in bed with me. The breast pump, not so comfortable.

Tara R. said...

Oh the best laid plans... you do what you have to.

Wanderlust said...

Now you know why nurseries always look so well put together. Because they are *never* used!

Jenni said...

Whatever it takes.

Rebecca said...

As they always say 'having a baby changes everything', true

Anonymous said...

A tip from a twice co-sleeping dad:

Place a bottle (or several, if there are several feedings) with water in it to the level your daughter drinks at night on the night table. Get a formula dispenser with multiple chambers(one of those things you carry around with you when you go out that you fill with powdered formula measured out in the quantities you use per bottle) and prep it for the night feedings and put it right next to the bottles on the nightstand.

When the kid wakes up or needs a feeding it's a hell of a lot easier to dump and swirl than it is to measure out formula with a scoop in the dark.

Also, no more scoops in the bed.

WhatAboutNovember said...

Well, unlike you fools, WE have it all planned out, and I'm sure it'll work.


Anonymous said...

I knew I would enjoy reading about your life with a newborn :)

I did the boobs so no advice for you there other than the bottles of water and formula dispenser sounds like a cunning plan. Get the child used to a room temperature bottle too, no need to heat up!

Good luck.

Boliath xx

Kathy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
hotmamamia said...

This is a cinch...wait til her actual body starts showing up to be in bed with you two on a regular about sleepus interruptus!!

frogpondsrock said...

You know, I have only just caught up on my sleep now.

Anonymous said...

I well remember the moment in the early days of life with baby that I realized how many bodily fluids were represented on my sheets. Sigh.

Anonymous said...

My husband worked hard to get our own magic room ready before the birth of our girl. 9 months later, the magic room is a magic dumping ground for all the stuff she's grown out of, or is yet to grow into, and our room is still occupied by 3 of us ...


Gail said...

I've chuckled silently at many a parent to be as they said they weren't going to do this or that and that having a baby wouldn't change their lifestyle.

Yeah no shit!

Ms. Moon said...

I'm sorry that nursing did not work out. All you'd have to worry about would be spitup rags and boobs. And boobs are not so bad in the bed.
But- you'll adapt.
Owen's crib is completely filled with his clothes. The cat does sleep there at times. Owen- never. So far. But then he's only six months old.

areyoukiddingme said...

We assumed that our girl would be in our room for a little while - I thought a few weeks - it ended up being 5 months. And it's amazing how much detritus one little person requires! But you're usually so exhausted that sleeping on a bed of nails would sound appealing!

Veronica Foale said...

Heh, whatever works to get you that precious sleep.

Erika said...

It's incredible how much gear is involved in changing poopy diapers, isn't it? Two words that have made our bedroom less of a disaster zone: changing table.

Chelsea Lietz said...

Just hope you don't wake up with diaper rash...

samcrea said...

first time checking in for a while. Congrats on the beautiful little one.. Keep on blogging..

Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] said...

New parents make me smile with your "grand plans."

tiff(threeringcircus) said...

Oh dear, it just feels like it was yesterday that we were where you are now.

geeks in rome said...

I can say 5 years later instead of diapers and spit up rags we now have dinosaurs and hello kitty dolls in our bed (along with human critters).

So not much has changed other than they do start taking up a lot more room and when they kick you in the mouth during a rollover it really hurts.

Irrational Dad said...

We breastfed, our nighttime routine consisted of the wife getting the son, putting her boob in his mouth and rocking him for about 20 minutes.

While I slept, never even stirring.

River said...

"..for now, she sleeps.."
That's the most important thing.
None of mine had their own room either, until they were sleeping through the night. The cradle was beside the bed for the first few weeks, then at the foot of the bed as the gaps between feeds lengthened. All I had to do was reach over and pick up the baby, then snuggle back down and snooze while he/she fed. Often we'd both fall asleep against my pillow.
Having everything within arm's reach is the best way, isn't it?

Jill said...

Wow I don't miss all that! There are SOME advantages to being the proud owner of teenagers after all, I forgot!

Amy said...

Ah, well. At least you can laugh at your pre-baby naivety... As if ANYTHING is peaceful, tranquil or comfortable for long when there's a baby involved! LOL!

Amy said...

BUT you wouldn't be dead for quids.

Anonymous said...

Jeebus but the kettle always boils slowest at 2a.m. I hear you.

I can't advertise those plug-in bottle warmers enough... a pool of hot water ready to have a bottle plopped into it on demand. F**k the electricity bill!!

Petit fleur said...

You gotta love kids!

Anonymous said...

We did the same thing. lol. It will turnaround again soon.


Mwa said...

Yay! So what changed? What happened for her to sleep now? Maybe she just settled in?

I always laugh at the things people (me included) think before they have kids. The sheer arrogant ignorance!

Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo said...

just sitting back and smiling, smugly.

B said...

Have you heard the news yet?

I assume twitter can be trustworthy?


Claire @ said...

Many congratulations on winning at the Irish Blog awards last night!

TheSheila said...

Congratulations on your win - well deserved!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on the well deserved Irish Blog win!

Boliath xx

Irish Mammy said...

Congrats on your award well deserved!

Martin said...

@Kori - down girl!

@Edith - Yeah you are dealing with different equipment!

@Middle Aged Woman - Brave man!

@Barbara - Your husband is a legend.

@Chrissy - Someday!

@Sadia - hahah

@Tara R. - exactly!

@kbxmas - I was thinking that very same thing!

@Jenni - Precisely!

@Rebecca - true indeed!

@Backpacking Dad - we have it all! (I find the containers make the formula lumpier)

@WhatAboutNovember - Hah! of course...

@Boliath - heh, thanks!

@hotmamamia - not TOO regularly I hope.

@frogpondsrock - hahahaha

@Anonymous - :-)

@Claire - 9 months....agggggggh

@Gail - I'm watching you!

@Ms. Moon - the cat, hahaha.

@areyoukiddingme - I've often been tempted to curl up in her cot

@Veronica - take it all!

@Erika - Dutch houses... space is VERY limited.

@Chelsea Lietz - ;-)

@samcrea - Ah there you are! Cheers!

@Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] - ...and you...

@tiff(threeringcircus) - :-)

@geeks in rome - she's already perfected the headbutt!

@Joe @ IrrationalDad - 'We' - I'm sure she'll LOVE that ;-)

@River - yeah as soon as she sleeps longer shes out of there!

@Jill/Twipply Skwood - I bet!

@Amy - all part of the fun

@K8 the Gr8 - haha shes getting used to cooler bottles!

@Petit fleur - haha yes indeed!

@livingrightnow - hopefully!

@Mwa - just learned night from day finally!

@Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo - meh

@B - yeah nuts!

@Claire @ - Thanks!

@The Sheila - Thank you!

@Boliath - Aww Thanks!

@Irish Mammy - Thanks a million.

Deb said...

You gotta do whatcha gotta do.