Wednesday, 7 May 2008

Missing

We would like you to be on the look out for a missing period.

Answers to the names "Aunt Flo", "Red", and "Yokes".

The missing period was expected back home sometime early this week, but as of yet has not turned up.

The last reported sighting was early April 2008.

The uncertainty as to the whereabouts of the missing period is causing great distress to it's owner.

Described as moody and bitchy, with an affinity for chocolate and doritos, the period is similar in appearance to a gaping head wound.

Should you encounter this missing period, do not approach it. It is considered highly dangerous and volatile.
Do not attempt to converse with it, do not attempt to apprehend it, and most certainly do not attempt to send it home, or you'll have me to deal with.

Should you see this missing period please go directly to the appropriate authorities, even though my mind hasn't quite worked out who they should be in this little verbalised meltdown.

As a result, feel free to use your own imagination, as mine, it appears, has broken it's leash.

46 comments:

BusyDad said...

When science can't get the job done quick enough, it's nice to know that a phone call to "some people" to make a "certain someone" go camping for a long time still works. I hope that duct tape holds.

Misty said...

Well... here is to hoping that it stays gone... At least for three quarters of a year, or so...

Ashley said...

I second misty.

People in the Sun said...

Ha! If you think the period is moody and bitchy, wait 'till you see what she's like without it.

Good luck.

Kori said...

You fucker, I found it! TOTALLY teasing...I hope it stays lost. And I think there is just something slightly strange about the fact that I have been praying for you guys. Perhaps I need to spend less time in blogland.

Marylin said...

Ooh well good luck there - hope she stays away! ;)

Mr Lady said...

Yes, I would also like you to know that my cycles has totally synced with your wife's. And mine is here now. And hers isn't?

ARE YOU GUYS YOUKNOWWHAT?

It's like says Voldemort over here, you know? We're all afraid to do it.

Tara R. said...

Aren't you glad you left the bread crumbs home? Don't make eye contact, maybe it'll stay missing. Good luck!

Karen MEG said...

I think Aunt Flo's visits are highly overrated and she should stay with another relative for a good ten months at least. Never my favourite relative anyway.

Fingers crossed tightly for you guys!!!

Roth Family Adventures said...

Let's hope that missing period is lost for a good 9 months or so.

Thalia's Child said...

Mine went missing for about 18 months. It was lovely! I certainly hope your (erm, hers) stays missing for a goodly time.

Fingers crossed

Chuck said...

Oh man, oh man. I'm not sayin' anything else - don't wanna jinx it.

Jenni said...

hoping this is it, and i second people in the sun. i hope you have a sling for your you-know-what's cause you're gonna need it.

Hilary (The Trying Game) said...

Good lord, I am all a-twitter with excitement and anticipation. When are you guys gonna test again?

I will be blog-stalking you whilst I wait for the next post!

Shamelessly Sassy said...

I hope to goodness I find it. I am in desperate need of one right now.

ORKMommy said...

I'm hoping mine goes missing this month too. Maybe hers is on her way across the big pond to hook up with mine next week and they're gonna do some kind of Thelma & Louise remake.

Sorry...head cold + medicine = strange ideas!

Wicked Step Mom said...

I know that it is against blog-ediquete to post LOL in your first post but I am sorry in this case, I have to do it.

LOL

Thanks for that, I needed it today. Here's to it staying gone! Good luck!

Kelley said...

We have her here. Moo is holding her captive. And none too happy about it either.

I have bribed her with chocolate to hold on to her for a while and then pass her on to her friends...

Oooooh, I hope I hope I hope... you know what I hope, I can't say it out loud, it is like birthday wishes.

amy t sharp said...

fingers and toes are crossed :)

Monique said...

Crossing all the usual and any other potentially crossable body parts I can manage. GOOD LUCK wishes are serious business over here after that post.

nola said...

Is that you on that carton??

morninglight mama said...

Missing is good. You have my hope-it-stays-missing thoughts coming your way!!

Huckdoll said...

YOKES! OMG, that's just wrong dude. I like it.

Maria said...

Crossed Fingers!

Veronica said...

Studiously NOT thinking about it. However, if it comes my way, I will be sure to trap it in a box and keep it here for the better part of a year, okay?

baby~amore' said...

oh very creative - hope she has a long holiday visiting others who welcome her presence ...fingers crossed.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@BusyDad - I can just picture ETs face as I appreach her with duct tape...

@Misty - I'll drink to that

@Ashley - and I'll have one for you too...

@People in the sun - hahahahahaha, very quick, I like it.

@Kori - I think we ALL do... Kori praying...Hhmmm, must be serious....

@Marylin - Me too, me too!

@Mr Lady - Do NOT say it.

@Tara R - No eye contact, got it. No breathing either.

@Karen MEG - thasnk!

@Roth Family Adventures - thats what I like to hear...

@Thalia's Child - 18 months! that's impressive...

@Chuck - I know exactly !

@Jenni - I'll be glad of it!

@Hilary - You stalking me, me stalking ET...

@Shamelessly Sassy - Is that breaking news you are giving us???

@ORKMommy - Best of luck!
and I don't think anything you say could be called strange in a post where I've put out an APB for a period...

@Wicked STep Mom - No rules here! thanks!

@Kelley - I'm sure your daughter will be delighted to learn you've informed the world about her menstrual cycle...
and, say nothing...

@amy t sharp - careful dont trip over, thanks.

@Monique - thanks, appreciated.

@Nola - no, but it's representative of my sanity

@morninglight mama - indeed, thanks!

@Huckdoll - yokes is an Irish term I reckon, but yeah, so wrong, hahaha.

@Maria - absolutely. thanks.

@Veronica - I don't think you really want it either though...

@baby~amore - not so much creative as mentally eroded, thanks!

frogpondsrock said...

I second 'what Veronica said'

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@frogpondsrock - muchos gracias!

tiff said...

Keeping everything crossed that the old witch stays away for oh, say 36 weeks or so...

Jared said...

I'm bettin' Aunt Flo mouthed off about her persistence over the past year or so and Spencer and all his buddies ganged up and beat the living shit out of her...hopefully she's banged up and bloody lying in an alley somewhere and Spencer was able to successfully score!

Hopin' for the best!

conortje said...

and good riddance I guess (fingers crossed)

Michele said...

Here via Links of Love, and OMG I have been there. S U C K S!

And I hope it is not here for a very good reason. Or two.

Becs said...

Im here through Links of Love. Good luck with not finding the missing period!

bsouth said...

Go hide under the bed and don't come out for at least 12 weeks! Good luck lovely man and lovely lady.

Thought you should also know, I found you today through the Link Love List on DGM!

Momo Fali said...

I am so confused. We want the period to stay missing. So, I will NOT look for it! Stay away!

Captain Steve said...

Is this good? Am I excited? THIS IS GOOD, RIGHT???!!!

Aunt Becky said...

Hehehe.

I lose mine every month, but I usually find it stashed behind the couch. Stupid period.

(here via Links 'o' Love)

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Tiff - thanks

@Jared - OK. Scarey, but OK.

@Conortje - Way Hey, another Paddy, Cheers.

@Michelle - way to go links of love, come back now! thanks!

@Becs - two links of lovers in a row ! thanks very much

@bsouth - awww, thank you, appreciated.

@Momo Fali - Yes, funny it may be, but sense it does not make!

@Captain Steve - as they say, so far, so good.

@Aunt Becky - well we dont want to find this one. ever. thanks for poping in.

me. said...

Visiting through the links of love, just wanted to say I hope you are what you think you are and that thing thats gone stays the hell away.

NukeDad said...

She goes by the name Helen around our house. Goodbye, and good riddance! See you in 9 months!

Putz said...

well, about damn time.....WELLA ABOUT DAMN TIME

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Me - talking to myself? I hope so too, thanks!

@NukeDad - Helen, brilliant.

@Putz - You're jumping the gun a wee bit my old buddy.

Deb said...

I hope, I hope, I hope, I hope!!!

Tismee2 said...

Your blog is like 24 - better read one after the other - more exciting. I am now hiding behind a cushion.

justmylife said...

I hope it stays missing for 10-11 months!

Good Luck!