We are now very, very close to the end of this cycle.
So close I can smell the blood.
This is the last 'end of cycle' before we go back to the specialist in three weeks.
We have really done everything right this time, angles, gravity, trajectory, all faultless, and with Spencer back in the game we were very, very hopeful.
One thing came to our attention though, Ellie makes quite a relatively late appearance.
Her tardiness means that there seems to be around 9-11 days before the start of the next cycle as opposed to the ideal 12-16.
This (luteal phase) is considered, like myself, to be too bloody short.
If this is the case, we are not too worried, it's identifying another issue which can be solved with supplements and/or hormones to boost the levels of progesterone, vital to make the product of any conception 'stick'.
Dr Xbox4NappyRash has put ET on Vitamin B6 supplements until we can get the proper advice.
ET has had tests for progesterone performed and the results we'll discuss with the RS.
This brings up an eerie thought though.
If Spencer has at least some of the time been performing, but the luteal phase has been too short, it's possible that we may, at some stage, have conceived but it failed to stick.
There goes my fucking lunch.
While I'm desperately trying to think of this purely in terms of hormone levels, we can't help but think of the 'what ifs'.
Regardless, because it's the last chance before going back to the specialist, tomorrow morning we will take a pregnancy test. (When I say we, I mean ET obviously, it's not like I'm going to wazz on the feckin thing.)
This is probably the latest we can hold out before the start of the next cycle.
We haven't taken a pregnancy test since our first two naive months of trying, and don't plan to again, but it could be a vital piece of the jigsaw for the specialist.
The insane thing is that, given all the variables, the result, whatever it is, could mean many things:
Negative, could be too early to detect a high level of hCG due to the short post ovulation phase.
Negative, could be simply negative, denting my latest theory.
Positive, could be a conception doomed not to last due to the short luteal phase.
Positive, could be positive, and stick, and I could buy a tweed jacket with leather elbow patches.
Do we really even want to know tomorrow?
No, but it's for the best.
If I keep saying that to myself, I may even eventually believe it, but probably not.
If anyone needs me, I'll be in the fetal position.