Thursday, 7 August 2008

Ding Ding

Two ovaries in swimsuits are circling the boxing ring, holding up two boards with the number 17 on them.

Round 17. Cycle 17.

What can we say about this one that hasn't been said before?
Er...not a whole lot.

This cycle is going to be 'monitored'. Which as far as I can understand is the second clinic's fancy way of saying they'll run some tests that have already been run by the first clinic.

Tomorrow, Friday, on cycle day 10, ET will have an ultrasound.
I presume this will be to check follicle development in anticipation of ovulation.

Whether she likes it or not, I'm going to be there, camera in hand.

This has already been done by the first clinic and everything was in ship shape.

11 days later on CD21, ET will have bloods checked, especially for progesterone levels, to check that the result of ovulation are high levels of the hormone.
This has also been checked by the first clinic, and is also in ship shape.

Somewhere in between having her innards gawked at, and having the blood sucked out of her, she'll have the ever joyous experience of my manhood attempting to perform it's own form of internal examination on her.

So while I grunt and pant and drool my way to ecstasy, she gets to horizontally mentally plan her next purchase from Amazon.

In a nutshell, this cycle is like a sandwich for ET, the poor old bird, stale tests early on and near the end, but with lashings of stuffing in the middle.

What more could a girl want from a month?

Now, I want a clean fight, no holding, no grabbing, nothing below the belt. At the bell, come out fighting.

Round 17. Ding Ding.

42 comments:

hairyfarmerfamily said...

Blimey, ovaries in swimsuits - what an interesting vision!

You never know if this month is going to be... you know... THE month. Here's hoping that 17 is your fabulously lucky number.

Oh, and ermmm... how can I put this? Best of British luck with the stuffing.

Monique said...

17 has a great ring to it! It was always my favorite soccer jersey number and when I'm in Vegas you can find me placing a sure bet on black 17 on the roulette tables. Best of luck! Don't let your guys get stage fright with all that gawking going on at the clinic. ;) chin up! You've got a super lucky number on your side.

Darren said...

Nothing that I can say that hasn't already been said before either, but good luck all the same. :)

Sarah said...

Wait, wait, wait.....nothing below the belt??? Honey, thats what your problem is!! Good grief man, I think(from what I've read anyway) you NEED to be below the belt!!

All kidding aside, my crooked little fingers are crossed ever so tightly for you guys this month. Tell Flo to fuck off!

Jane G said...

I'm keeping everything bar fallopian tubes crossed for you on this one. With all the talk of stuffing the bird, I'm having visions of ET in a little silver tin foil number.

A heads up in the day 21 bloods - only have them done on day 21 if ET ovulates on day 14. Otherwise have them done on 7dpo, else the results will be totally arseways. I made this mistake myself last summer. Had bloods done on day 20 of a 32 day cycle. Results were totally off kilter as taken 3 or 4 days too early.

Ding ding!! As Jon Kenny would say "Now lads, no kickin', no beltin', no gaugin'"

James Austin said...

I'm with Sarah! Below the belt is good clean fighting and keep the above the belt stuff to a minimum to preserve energy for the land down under.

Lilacspecs said...

Um....fire at will?
Or I guess you ought to fire at ET or else you won't have much of a shot this cycle.

hockeyman said...

I'm curious to know what specific Amazon items she's considering while you power drill her yippee bog with your dude piston?

Kori said...

As ever, I heart you. Actually I just always wanted to SAY "I heart you," because it makes me feel like a cute blond cheerleader. Which I am not and never will be. Next I am going to try putting a heart instead of a dot about the i in my name. Other than that. I got nothing.

iVegasFamily said...

When you first said "monitored" I have to admit I pictured the doctors literally watching how you're "doing it" to make sure it's correct. Thank goodness that's not the case. Talk about awkward.

Tismee2 said...

OK so I'm thinking reverse psychology now. As much as I know you appreciate everyone's best wishes and good lucks I bet you are a little weary of hearing it. So I'm going to tip the boat and say "I hope this all goes t*ts up for you and you end up on cycle 18 - pah to spencer and that floozy egg"
(of course I really don't mean that and I will feel dreadfully guilty for having said that if you do end up on cycle 18 anyway.)

Immoral Matriarch said...

I have questions for you, but I don't think the comments of your blog is the right place to ask. I'll email you one day.

womb for improvement said...

Ding dong!

DD said...

I have to ask (b/c I'm too lazy to check archives): so ovulation has been confirmed, what about the tubes? Has she had an HSG?
And what diagnostic tests have you gone through?

Every once in a while you have to recap for us latecomers.

Christa said...

::Taking notes::

nutsinmay said...

What Jane G. said. There is no freaking point WHATSOEVER having the bloods on day 21 if ET didn't ovulate precisely on day 14. Even if she's only a few days late, the progesterone will look weird and everyone will start waving needles at you.

Other than that, best of luck, and fingers crossed, and all that.

Country Girl said...

Flo told me that shes thinking of going on a long holiday, somewhere tropic. I think shes packing her bags right now because she never was interested in boxing matches.

Hilary (The Trying Game) said...

Here's to Lucky Number 17!

TW said...

Lucky #17 for sure!

Anonymous said...

Best of Luck! come out swinging, just don't give her a black eye.
Deno

Marie said...

*ding ding*

smile
sigh

Good luck to you!

D said...

I believe it was Christa who calls her the "red headed slut" but here's hoping the red headed slut keeps her dirty self away from ET (and you) from here on out for the next 9 months.
You bring a smile to my face with your humor ~ and then my heart breaks for you that you can't just "stuff the bird" and wait for it to cook.
Best of luck on the lucky 17 and we'll be sending our good fertile vibes to you from the MN -
xoxo - darcie

Dorky Dad said...

We do have a saying here in the states: 17th time's a charm.

At least that's how I think it goes.

IEAT_SNOWMANPOOP said...

go spenser go!

A Whole Lot of Nothing said...

"my manhood attempting to perform it's own form of internal examination on her"

So THAT's how it's done...

Rita's Rants n Raves said...

17 does sound like a very lucky number, my fingers will be crossed.
With everything you two have been through you truly deserve to finally win this battle.

Dondi Tiples said...

That's the spirit! We're all sitting tight, praying for you, and trying not to envision to clearly the "sandwich" of which you speak.

Anja said...

Stop humping her leg and land the goal between the sticks.

Veronica said...

I still say that I would have reverted to a turkey bastor by now. But then, I do tend to get a little lazy.

River said...

Actually you want EVERYTHING below the belt........
Let the conception olympics begin.
Go for Gold Spencer.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Hairyfarmerfamily - Welcome! and thanks!

@Monique - You don't wanna know what my lucky number is...really.

@Darren - well hello there! nice to see you around these parts! cheers.

@Sarah - Thanks very much.

@Jane G - Yeah it is actually 7 dpo indeed, not cd21 ecaxctly.

@James Austin - Australia?

@Lilacspecs - which one's Will?

@Hockeyman - Oven gloves...

@Kori - Give us a K, give us an O...nah...

@iVegasFamily - that might scare the boys into action...

@Tismee2 - heartless wench! ;0)

@Immoral Matriarch - feel free to mail.

@Womb for improvement - the witch is dead?

@DD - Ovulation seems fine, previous Cd21 bloods gave good progesterone levels.
They WONT check tubes or do a HSG until next year.

@Christa - I must say, I'm not the best person to take notes from, if you havent noticed!

@Nutsinmay - Duly noted, thanks!

@CountryGirl - she can send a postcard.

@Hilary - I get weary just thinking of it!

@TW - I like your confidence...

@Deno - Thanks very much, appreciated.

@Marie - Cheers, thanks.

@D - thanks for the good wishes Darcie, they are warmly appreciated.

@DorkyDad - I think you are close, but it's '17th time's a pain in the arse'

@Snowmanpoop - the lazy git

@A whole lot of nothing - Oh I think somehow you are already familar with the process

@Rita's Rants n raves - Thanks very much (and welcome!)

@Dondi Tiples - I quite like the idea of that sandwich, the filling anyway...

@Anja - bloody odd shaped balls...

@Veronica - a super soaker 4000!

@River - below the belt indeed! the useless twerp.

Kathryn said...

"So while I grunt and pant and drool my way to ecstasy, she gets to horizontally mentally plan her next purchase from Amazon."

Oh good, I see I'm not the only woman who does this!

Now, go get in that ring and start swinging! Or ahhh, swinging it...whatever it takes!

Kelley said...

Dude, I am thinking she might not be liking the drooling part.

Just sayin'

Might mess up her hair, or the sheets.

Bring it on big boy! Just imagine us all cheering you too on.

*snort*

jothemama said...

Are you doing the egg white?

Remember to get it room temeprature first if it's been in the fridge or laughter and wriggling destroy the mood.

Though I did not find egg white to be mood enhancing in the first place, I must admit :)

Jen W said...

I know it can be rough in there. Just make sure you have a clean, um, "fight" and don't bite her ear off in the process like Mike Tyson did to Evander Holyfield. ;)

Cindy and Brian said...

Go 17!

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Kathryn - Welcome!
You know you ladies love the slobbering!

@Kelley - You're just jealous.

@Jothemama - You are nuts.

@Jen W - Welcome! I can't promise not to bite any of her extremities off but I'll give it a shot!

@Cindy & Brian - I have a gut feeling about his one...

Quickroute said...

Go Rocky!
Adrian - we love you!

Missives From Suburbia said...

I do hope 17 is your lucky number, my dear.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Quickroute - I'd do the running up steps bit, but I'd have a stroke

@Missives from suburbia - you really don't want to know my lucky number...

Tracey said...

Where is the love??

Poor ET. Poor Xbox man.

Just remember: shagging is good fun. Whether you are mentally in Amazon or wherever.

And it burns calories.

Shagging, that is.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Tracey - burns calories?

I must be really doing it wrong.