Monday, 11 August 2008

Up periscope II

Last week on Up Periscope....

On Friday ET got herself a sexy new set of stirrups and I got to watch some serious girl on girl action.

Someone in a nurse's uniform rammed a phallic shaped camera up my wife and I sat back with some popcorn, a wince, and a new found appreciation for my particular flavour of genitalia.

Ellie was doing well at 16mm and the nursey woman seemed to think she was about to head off down the water slide within 2 or 3 days, CD12-13.

This would have been a surprise to us, as we've NEVER had a positive before CD15.

**Insert theme music here**
(I envisage a MacGyver/Magnum PI type tune)

So following Friday's revelation we 'may' have been missing prime humping time we just got straight to it. Spencer is gonna be one dehydrated little bugger come the end of this week.

Sunday we went back for the follow up ultrasound and I again took my seat in the front row with a diet coke and a portion of nachos & cheese.

The doctor did her Moses act on ET legs, announced 'I'm going to touch you now' (which in fairness, is more warning than I get from that guy on the bus), and once again sent R2D2 up my wife's passion promenade.

There she was, in widescreen, Ellie the lazy bitch, measuring 18.5mm. It’s currently a slow growth, a little over 1mm a day, but looking good.

ET swiftly picked up her shoes, socks, dignity and jeans off the floor and we left.

So now, we were none the wiser, when was she gonna pop?

We hoped the doctor would offer us another ultrasound in a day or two again, so we could really nail down the timing, but unfortunately she didn't. We must wait for ovulation according to our OPKs, and arrange the blood tests for 7 days later.

Meanwhile, back at the love shack, ET goes for a wazz, only to find a faint LH surge on the OPK.

This is good of course, but leaves us even more confuzzled than before.

This probably means we will get a maximum LH surge sometime today CD13, which is a good 2 days before we normally do.

Basically, Friday we thought ovulation was imminent, and we had been getting false readings all along, but Sunday we find ovulation is imminent as is a positive OPK test.

So have we been getting the time right all along, and this cycle is just a bit earlier? Or, has ovulation always been this early and we have had wrong readings all along, with a 'lucky' good reading this month?

I don't know, ET doesn't know, her stirrup weary lady love pool doesn't know, and my knackered gonads aren't much the wiser either.

Answers on a postcard please....

60 comments:

Veronica said...

No idea, but hell, timing is 90% of getting her up the duff.

And I can always mail you an icepack if you need it...

Sinead said...

Maybe you just need to shag every day for a month and see what happens?? Apply a cold compress in between shaggings? Its ETs gonads I feel sorry for. It can't be pleasant having a camera shoved up them whilst someone is eating nachos ad enjoying the show. Did you even offer her any?

River said...

Ellie is about ready so i'd say go for it every day for the next couple of weeks. When she does pop, the swimmers will be right there waiting for her. she has to travel a little way down the fallopian tube anyway before the swimmers can get to her so you've got a good chance if you start now and keep it going at least a few days past ovulation.

Jane G said...

When I had follicle tracking done last month, they scanned me four times before they saw a ruptured follie. I was paying for the privilege (€300, ouch!) hence the number of scans.

Honestly don't know what to say to you as regards the timing of the cycle compared to what the OPKs were telling you. Maybe try temp charting in tandem with OPKs if Spencer doesn't accomplish his mission this month (but I'm very hopeful that he will!).

We were six months trying before I got pregnant the first time. That month was the first time that I temped as well as used OPKs. When we started trying again, I temped from there on, and I saw a pattern emerging that showed I'm a much later ovulator than I had previously thought.

The short cycles would seem to be an indicator that ET could be ovulating earlier than you realised. The follicular phase of the cycle is the part that can vary, but the luteal phase is usually fairly constant, give or take a day. So if her cycles have gotten shorter in the past while, chances are that she has started to ovulate earlier than before.

As to the + OPKs at cd 15, I'm stumped at that. Sorry can't give you better advice than that!

Russ said...

I have no idea what you are talking about, yet I laugh anyway. (with you, not at you)

Fate's Granddaughter said...

The OPK/follicle/TTC speak is foreign to me - it was banned in my house due to the retracting effect it had on my husband's "mini-me," so basic animal instinct is all I've got to go on in the advice department.

Bearing that in mind, I am 100% behind the aforementioned "shag all month" plan.

Putz said...

from sunny veronia, spain....this postcard from vacationing putz...this is the month, it is in my bones, just ask alice, your auntie...why did you have to have all this on a POSTCARD////??????

Quickroute said...

I just realised I'm reading about someone shagging and sticking things in a vagina on a regular basis and I keep coming back for more. What does this say about me?

iVegasFamily said...

I'm completely confuzzled now too.

Hilary (The Trying Game) said...

"...and once again sent R2D2 up my wife's passion promenade." This nearly made me spit out my breakfast! hahahahaha

Well it sure sounds like this cycle is as good as it can get. You are covering your bases very well, I'd say.

Sending good thoughts...

Lilacspecs said...

I'll try to think fertile thoguhts for you in between my guffaws over your titilating terminology.

Zoeyjane said...

What ever happened to just doing it all the time and not aiming for specific days? I mean, if nothing's showing low or immotile with Spencer and his troop, why not just send them out in wave after wave of Ellie coup?

Yes, I know it will decrease numbers and all of that scientific stuff...but if this cycle is showing a possible chance that you've been missing the gate, so to speak, would that not through so much of the formerly known and practiced science out of the window?

Kori said...

Stop drinking diet soda; I am SO serious. Do you know how BAD that crap is for you?

STE said...

I don't know why they call this science when really all it is is guessing. Really expensive, authoritative guessing, but guessing nonetheless.

Here's hoping you chase down ovulation this month so you can be done with these professional guessers and onto the next batch, the obstetric ones.

Ashley said...

Those pee sticks are just a "good guess" when it comes to timing ovulation. You have to check CM (cervical mucous), the cervix positioning, temps, AND those sticks if you REALLY REALLY want to be as sure as you can get without keeping an ultrasound tied to you for the better half of your cycle. Trust me, we had to do all of this. My cycles are quite wiley and kept changing up on us. good luck!

IEAT_SNOWMANPOOP said...

drink plenty of fluids... don't want you wearing out

Captain Steve said...

I have been so lazy in my reading! And I hear you're supposed to rotate ice and heat on a sore muscle, however I'm not certain that applies here. Get to the busy time, Spencer! That lady's a-waitin!

Jill said...

Sending good thoughts your way from one of the most fertile places in the world...

However, when you're done with them can you send them back - I need them later this month myself.

Horse Chick said...

And stay away from Soy products...

nola said...

Sad how quickly we are happy to have R2D2 go down our (or our partner's) lady parts. And upset when we can't have it done. Yes, you are in the throws of fertility treatment. Oh, what a wild ride.

Malky B. said...

The female reproductive system is complicated that's for sure. The slow growth might indicate that the OPK were pretty accurate. It's always a good idea to start trying a few days before ovulation anyway. I've read that the egg likes to have sperm waiting for it. Just like a female - always wants her partner waiting and ready for her ;-).

Tara R. said...

Maybe a troop surge is called for... pound the battlements until the Wall of Jericho fall.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Veronica - isn't Aussie ice, just, er, water?

@Sinead - I can tell you what would definitely happen, I'd lose consciousness through lack of blood to my (big)head.
She is a dorrito fiend actually.

@River - That's the plan!

@Jane G - Well the cycles are averaging at 27 days, so CD13 for ovulation seems correct, but all the OPKs are pointing to CD16 after a surge on CD15.

But THIS time the surge is looking to be 2 days earlier....

Thanks.

@Russ - Liar...

@Fate's Granddaughter - Awww bless him ;0)
I'm sure ET is all for that plan too, but it's not her in danger of passing out!

@Putz - you are in Spain? nutter.
I have a gut feeling too!

@Quickroute - well it says that I could probably never look you in the eye.

@iVegasFamily - thank god its not just me...

@Hilary - Cheers big Ears!

@Lilacspecs - nice alliteration!

@Zoeyjane - Cuz she ain't gonna get knocked up on days she ain't about to ovulate, the virgin mary she ain't!

@Kori - I jest,I wouldn't touch the stuff.

@STE - I was thinking the exact same thing today, it's a guessing game.

@Ashley - How much would one of those machines set a guy back?

@Snowmampoop - Beer!

@Captain Steve - a good massage works wonders too I hear... ;0)

@Jill - We should be done with them in about a week or so!

@Horse Chick - Done!

@Nola - Wild ride...? Hmmmm.....

@Malky B - That's for sure, it's like a rubex cube in there!
We've always tried to cover all the bases anyway regards timing so I don't know what we are really doing differently this time, just widening that net.

@Tara R - Very aggressive approach!

nh said...

Gotta love the 'dildo cam'.

Too many questions...it could be an early ov this month or it could be dodgy opk's or it could be...

umm, I'm not going to give you any advice - you know all that s**t anyway. But the best of luck, may 17 be your lucky number!

Kate said...

2 kids into this family "planning" deal and hubby and I have noticed that we tend to get the job done about 2 days after flo packs her bags and leaves... that is about CD7-8 for me... ridiculously early... but it seems to work... everyone's different... our second child was conceived during a two week span where we went at it like wild monkeys multiple times most days... maybe it's just the law of averages?? anyhow, good luck with the lovin!

womb for improvement said...

Maybe Ellie is an early developer but not a completer finisher? Hell, I don't know but sounds like you are going to have to be going at it like a Bonobo chimp for the next week or so. But then you have to balance that with, should you give spencer a time to rest and regroup? Oh its all so confusing.

Sarah said...

I'm trying really hard to think of something to say, but I cant get past the terminology you use. You crack me up! Despite all the BS, you still manage to be funny. Good for you. Seriously.

So....I'm crossing everything but my legs for you, Spencer, ET and Ellie.

jothemama said...

Any time you can stretch a string of Cervical fluid longer than 2? 4? inches, and it's clear, and you're good to go, if I remember correctly.

Is it ok to keep doing it every day? I can't remember if it was better or you were meant to reserve your troops. I think the frequent ejaculation makes for healthy though, doesn't it? Elimination of toxins and free radicals, right?

You need a tonic! Billy Goat flower essence from the Australian Bush Essences is meant to boost your sex drive, might help keep you energised :)

bsouth said...

Fingers crossed I'd say. Keep up the good work for the next few days as well.

Ed (zoesdad) said...

I've tried to keep up but now I'm completely confused (as I'm sure you are).

Anyway, love the image of the passion promenade--though I'm sure to ET it feels more like a well trodden servants entry.

AnnD said...

Like the 2nd commenter said...maybe you should do the deed every day or every other day. When hubby and I were trying to make a baby...we had sex every other day. No matter what CD it was or what the OPK said. God! I hope you make a baby this month man! This is killing me and I don't even know you in real life!

'That Girl' said...

Hey you. I'm giving you a kick-ass-blogger award. Come over to my place.

Country Girl said...

Good luck with it all then. At least you have an idea now!

TW said...

I'm thinking you will be seriously fit after the end of this cycle. DYK that for a male sex is the equivalent of a 3 mile run?

loveyh said...

Been there, done that! Good luck--sounds like you all may have a weiner soon...errr, I mean winner.

I feel for you both--I have had clinical sex and somehow it saps the fun right out of it.

Anja said...

You dirty little maggot. You're getting off on looking up ET's cooter, aren't you? Or is it the nurse doing the 'thang' on the missus what's making you munch the nachos with zest?

tiff said...

mmmm...popcorn and dildocam, nice combination.
Hope the added insight helps.
Also; shagging all month an intersting yet exhausting thought.

kittyconcerto.com said...

Ok new game plan. Each of you quit your jobs and get jobs where you work from home. Then hump daily, preferrably 2x, once in the morning woody meeting, and once in the night time snuggle fest with Spencer, so you don't miss a single opportunity.

darcie said...

Your latest entries have me all hot and bothered...and not because of all the talk of outings and innings and outings and innings...but because of your comment about Bosco - If you think my dog is magic (did you not notice the DROOL?) - he's a coming your way - I think he's make a PERFECT gift for you two for a baby shower - so get to it. I agree with the shaggin' all month long thing - though I remember being told once that you had to do it every 36 hours so as to give the little critters some time to recharge before making the long trek...not sure how much truth there is to that - but I do have two little ones of my own! Good luck ~ You have uterus' praying for you all over the world!

Cindy (and Brian) said...

18.5mm follie, now that is exciting! Slow growth is fine as long as it keeps growing. I don't understand why the Dr. didn't schedule another u/s either tomorrow or the next day?!?! This is crucial time! Seems prime time to watch as it seems it will pop any day now at that size. No HCG trigger shot to help the timing along? Hmm. I'll be thinking positive thoughts.

justjuli said...

So confusing..... All this work and no "real" answers.

I guess I'll agree with most here in saying that maybe what you need is a "Shock and Awe" blitz for the next week or so just to make sure you don't miss the opportune moment.

And - my best wishes to ET. Those cameras are NOT fun. Or dignified.

Missives From Suburbia said...

I forgot all that "new math" stuff. All I hope is that this month is your month!

Karen MEG said...

I'm with Cindy, it seems that another U/s in a day or so would help matters, and HCG does help things along as well. I was gonna ask about the other Ellie's but then I realized ET's only got the one ...I was always looking for 2 or 3 but I was perpetually "clomid"ed (a verb?)

I'd say shag every other day... that way you give your Spencies a day to regenerate for the best quality; and the ones that have already been torpedoed would still stick around in case Ellie lets loose in between... in which case, the slower but steadier Spencies, well, might just make a girl.

How's that for hocus pocus scientific phooey?!

Anita said...

Ahhhh Nappy! I take my hat off to you....for I would have started restricting comments from ppl whom have no idea about what it feels like when you have been TTC (trying to conceive) for as long as you have!

"Cuz she ain't gonna get knocked up on days she ain't about to ovulate, the virgin mary she ain't!" - CLASSIC

Off to have a stiff (yes no pun intended) drink on your behalf...

Keep fighting the fight (my motto for you and ET)!

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@nh - Thanks, sometimes no advice is good!

@Kate - thanks very much, it's almost impossible to know.

@womb for improvement - **adds bonobo onto list of baby names**

@Sarah - I'd be lost without a few gags to keep myself amused!

@jothemama - Everyday, every other day, twoice a day, I could google you a dozen sources in support of every approach.
This month, we are taking no chances....

A tonic, it's years since I heard that, not being Irish anymore and all that ;0)

@bsouth - We'll do our best!

@Ed - the servant's entrance, absolutely classic.

@AnnD - It's guesswork, as long as I can keep loading, we'll keep shooting.

@ThatGirl - That is very very kind of you, very flattering.
I'm working on a page here where I can put that kind of stuff, but it's a bit of work, so Ill get around to it soon!

@Country girl - an idea indeed, sort of, maybe, almost... ;0)

@TW - 3 miles eh? really? who the hell have you been shagging?

@lovelyh - It's actually not bad, I'm surprised, there have been a few 'blah' times but on the whole, it's not bad at all!

@Anja - Of course I am, problem?

@Tiff - helps? not at all lol...

@Kittycomncerto - All I'll be missing then is the ambulance to take me to hospital...

@Darcie - hot and bothered eh? maybe I should be charging by the minute...

@Cindy & Brian - the extra ultrasound has me a little miffed indeed, it could have really given us a pointer.
I never expected a trigger shot, this is just monitoring.

@justjuli - you're telling me!
Thanks!

@Missives from suburbia - me too!

@Karen MEG - yeah it would really have been an extra help.
No, just the one to watch here, thank god...

I don't think we 'couldnt' go every day at this stage, just in case.

@Anita - Not at all, I don't expect everyone to understand 100% or to have all the knowledge, we don't even manage that ourselves.
Hopefully people can get an idea of the struggle from here though.
Thanks very much!

B said...

I've sent my answer on a postcard addressed "The Usual Address".

The answer is one giant question mark.
...something tells me I won.

Horse Chick said...

xbox,
Thanks for sticking up for those of us who have heart-felt empathy for you & ET but have not had to endure the ACTUAL EXPERIENCE you and ET are going through. (I believe that is the definition of empathy...)
My heart breaks for you two with every new challenge and hurdle you are forced to endure!!! Good Luck and shagging!!!!

'That Girl' said...

I love the line about her picking up her dignity and jeans off the floor. Having simple lady inspections IS humiliating, (it's nice that you get that) and this mess y'all are going through - I just can't imagine the frustration and emotional rollercoaster..

James Austin said...

There could be worse ways to spend your week, right? Anyway, apply lots of ice afterwards friend.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@B - Go you tube the 'riddler' video from Nick Kershaw... you've just described it

@Horse Chick - No thanks needed, it's not the aim to alienate or pick on anyone.
Only by building understanding will there be any improvements.
You are very kind.

@That Girl - I'm glad you can't! It is a shot to ET's dignity, I know that, there's no avoiding it, I hope I can keep her happy enough to cope.

@James Austin - It IS a funny old complaint I suppose ;0)

Maggie, Dammit said...

"passion promenade"

???

Seriously, how do you keep coming UP with this stuff??

Dto3 said...

Based on the number of comments, there must have been more content past "girl on girl action," but that's as far as I got.

Monique said...

Ummm, I'm fairly stumped by all this: OPK at 15 CD, luteal, temp chart,follicular eruption stuff. Are you guys still speaking English to each other? Do you use the reproductive jargon abbreviations in normal speech yet? I only ask because when I get knee deep in message board abbreviations they start to slip out in the "real world" and I'm not sure anyone knows what I'm talking about at that point. Anyway, I'm crossing my fingers that all the parts do as their told this time around. Try to have at least a little fun shagging okay? This babymaking business is supposed to be FUN. :) I know...the fun won't be back until the fat little egg drops. Good luck!

A Whole Lot of Nothing said...

What the hooch is all this medical terminology??

You do have a confusing way with words.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Maggie, Dammit - I was raised on 'Carry on' films
have a look...!

@Dto3 - I had to take a break after just writing that line!

@Monique - slowly indeed, we've started talking in CDs and Dpos!
No one seems to believe me when I say that for the most part, it IS still fun!

@A Whole Lot of nothing - that's eductaion for you...

Sassy said...

Whatever is going on I hope this is the cycle for you guys.

P.S. Your missing DadCentric and MetroDad from your blog roll. Pierre is hilarious.

Laurie, thatsthewayits said...

Hang tough, brother!

You can do it. We won't give up on you!

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Sassy - Thank you, I appreciate it.

I have come across metrodad before, buyt I will check them both out properly, thanks for the tips.

@Laurie - Cheers, thanks, I'll fight on!

jothemama said...

I meant to say, re dignity and jeans - I had the first smear test of my life recently, and chose to wear a long skirt - it can sort of pool around your hips and leave you feeling less bare assed. Nothing makes you feel powerless and vulnerable like a short top and no pants on.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

I had actually thought of that, but figured it was best I don't interfere in SOME matters!

;0)