Last week on Up Periscope....
On Friday ET got herself a sexy new set of stirrups and I got to watch some serious girl on girl action.
Someone in a nurse's uniform rammed a phallic shaped camera up my wife and I sat back with some popcorn, a wince, and a new found appreciation for my particular flavour of genitalia.
Ellie was doing well at 16mm and the nursey woman seemed to think she was about to head off down the water slide within 2 or 3 days, CD12-13.
This would have been a surprise to us, as we've NEVER had a positive before CD15.
**Insert theme music here**
(I envisage a MacGyver/Magnum PI type tune)
So following Friday's revelation we 'may' have been missing prime humping time we just got straight to it. Spencer is gonna be one dehydrated little bugger come the end of this week.
Sunday we went back for the follow up ultrasound and I again took my seat in the front row with a diet coke and a portion of nachos & cheese.
The doctor did her Moses act on ET legs, announced 'I'm going to touch you now' (which in fairness, is more warning than I get from that guy on the bus), and once again sent R2D2 up my wife's passion promenade.
There she was, in widescreen, Ellie the lazy bitch, measuring 18.5mm. It’s currently a slow growth, a little over 1mm a day, but looking good.
ET swiftly picked up her shoes, socks, dignity and jeans off the floor and we left.
So now, we were none the wiser, when was she gonna pop?
We hoped the doctor would offer us another ultrasound in a day or two again, so we could really nail down the timing, but unfortunately she didn't. We must wait for ovulation according to our OPKs, and arrange the blood tests for 7 days later.
Meanwhile, back at the love shack, ET goes for a wazz, only to find a faint LH surge on the OPK.
This is good of course, but leaves us even more confuzzled than before.
This probably means we will get a maximum LH surge sometime today CD13, which is a good 2 days before we normally do.
Basically, Friday we thought ovulation was imminent, and we had been getting false readings all along, but Sunday we find ovulation is imminent as is a positive OPK test.
So have we been getting the time right all along, and this cycle is just a bit earlier? Or, has ovulation always been this early and we have had wrong readings all along, with a 'lucky' good reading this month?
I don't know, ET doesn't know, her stirrup weary lady love pool doesn't know, and my knackered gonads aren't much the wiser either.
Answers on a postcard please....