Wednesday, 4 March 2009

Relaxing, just

As days come, the next seven are bloody big ones.

One week from today we'll have our pasty white arses back in front of the specialist. I mean we'll be sitting on them in front of her of course, we haven't decided to visit a proctologist looking for alternative routes or anything.

Back in December she promised we could talk about intervention this time. She even told us to think about whether we wanted medication, with an IUI or not .

I might bring a turkey baster to use as inspiration for her, or as a weapon to bludgeon her to within an inch of her life with, should she pull their favoured 'Who are you and what are you doing here' trick.

I'm determined that we are not leaving there without a plan. This is going to be the time it all starts happening, I know it, I'm oozing positivity.

(Is positivity normally yellowish green with a slight odour?)

In those seven days, we'll also have partied through Ov-fest XXV, which promises it's usual dosage of peace and free love, pillows and propage, plastic and peeing. The highlight of the event, all going well, will be the appearance of eggy pop.

All that ovulation induced free love won't actually be free though, as it will be taking place in a posh hotel in central London. By 'posh' I mean it won't be a brothel. Once bitten, and all that.

We are out of here tomorrow evening, and away until Sunday. We must visit Big Ben, get spat on by Amy Winehouse, cause an evacuation of parliament, and eat proper sausages. We have a lot of 'just relaxing' crammed into our schedule.

Wouldn't it be irritatingly ironic if we got knocked up this time, on a weekend away, and when the doctors finally agree to try some procedures?

I'd happily take that ironic irritation with a big shit-eating grin on my face though.

Here's to an interesting next seven.


39 comments:

Susanica said...

Have fun! Cherrio and all that! -Monica

womb for improvement said...

I'll keep my peepers peeled for a shagged out Irish couple.

Good luck with getting them to give you a proper plan next week.

frogpondsrock said...

Ack.. dont take a turkey baster in with you, You will give them the impression that you and ET dont need any bloody help at all.. Dont tempt the Dutch..

Robin (a.k.a. Toasty) said...

Have a relaxing getaway...

Anja said...

"Eggy Pop"

Egads, man. I have weird ass visions of a wrinkly, drugged out egg, dressed in leather, singing...

"I'll be a wild one, wild one, wild one..."

iVegasFamily said...

Have fun!!!

WhatAboutNovember said...

And just think, if all that relaxing doesn't work, you can cram it down all the "just relaxers" throats. And that's a happy thought. ;)

I'm trying to work up some romantice feelings for turkey basters myself.

Dre said...

Don't reach through the internet and throttle me, but I was the asshole who got a bfp one week before my specialist appointment to look at our next plan of action. May life play the same joke on you and ET!!!

Ms. Moon said...

There are plans and there are plans. The one which works is the best plan of all.

Tismee2 said...

Enjoy the trip, Don't forget the shades and peaked cap - you don't want to be harrasses by fans and papperazzi do you?

Lea said...

Enjoy your relaxation! Hoping you won't need that intervention afterall.

Leslie Laine said...

Here's to ironic irritation!

mrsmiller2007 said...

Have a nice trip and be really forceful with your Dr. Sometimes you have to PUSH them. I hope they come up with an awesome plan for you. Tell your wife that the IUI isn't as bad/painful as some people say it is and will be well worth it if it works, unfortunately for us, it didn't but I'm glad that we at least tried that route.

Hockeyman said...

I think a shotgun will be more effective than a turkey baster.

Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] said...

I thought you hated the English.

Hilary (Maya Papaya) said...

"Wouldn't it be irritatingly ironic if we got knocked up this time, on a weekend away, and when the doctors finally agree to try some procedures?"

Do you know how many times I've heard exactly that story???

(Here's hoping I get to hear it again very soon!)

Kelley said...

I will be seriously pissed off if you do knock her up with the relaxing.

Cause then all the 'just relax, don't think about it and it will happen' idiots will be right.

And we cannot have that.

;)

Chhandita said...

Have a great weekend.

I nominated you for an award. Now don't come and shoot me its the sisterhood award, but you so deserve every award under the sun that I could'nt resist! chk my blog.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Susanica - thank you!

@womb for improvement - We'll be the short, pale, and lost ones.

@frogpondsrock - Duly noted.

@Robin (a.k.a. Toasty) - will do, thanks.

@Anja - exactly my intention!

@iVegasFamily - will do!

@WhatAboutNovember - We've relaxed to the max!

@Dre - we'd gladly take it! congratulations.

@Ms. Moon - very zen indeed!

@Tismee2 - did you actually mean to post that on Cliff Richard's blog?

@Lea - Only of the devine kind I think!

@Leslie Laine - I love how it sounds like colonic irrigation.

@mrsmiller2007 - Thanks, we will do our best.

@Hockeyman - I dunno, in my limited experience, guns and wombs don't mix.

@Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] - Only for teaching you lot to read and write.

@Hilary (Maya Papaya) - I know, I would be happy with one more!

@Kelley - Just for site. I like it.

@Chhandita - Too funny. I'll check it out after the weekend.

Cindy (and Brian) said...

Have a great time!

Angel said...

Ooh my fingers are totally crossed that it happens just in time like that!

I dare you to leg hump a guard at Buckingham.

Have a wonderful seven days!

bsouth said...

I'm all for irritating irony if it gets you what you want.

I thought you were going to beat the dr with a huge dildo a la Clockwork Orange.

AnnD said...

That irony you mentioned close to the end is exactly what I'm hoping for...it would be cruel! But, if there is a beanie baking, it won't matter a damn bit! Either way, with or without medical intervention, it won't be much longer now...

Jenni said...

have a good trip! and you'd better get that oozing checked out.

areyoukiddingme said...

So that's what positivity looks like! I wondered...

Have a great trip!

Russ said...

Irony would be an understatement. That said. Have fun storming the castle! (or Parliament)

'Murgdan' said...

Hope the next 7 bring you nothing but plans and good news. I was so terrified at our first 'check' that someone would respond..."Look, you just need to try for another 6 months or so, it'll happen, you'll see."

But alas, they took us seriously and gave us an actual plan to actually get pregnant. Maybe that will happen someday.

Good luck!

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Cindy (and Brian) - Will dio, cheers.

@Angel - and end up in a cell? maybe not.

@bsouth - You need sleep.

@AnnD - would be just the trick eh?

@Jenni - Will do!

@areyoukiddingme - yes, festering! Cheers!

@Russ - Probably be arrested at the airport.

@'Murgdan' - Thanks!

Penelope said...

Enjoy London! You'll be ready to kick some arse when you get back ;o)

Christa said...

I'm all for irony!

Best of luck!

Lorna said...

You never know! x

Tismee2 said...

X you are such a divvy sometimes.

James said...

You take it any damn way you can get it X.

Tanya said...

Good Luck, Have Fun, I'm a fan of Irony :-)

tiff said...

I hope you get all the help you need this time, I really do.
I could say all the appropriate things right now, keeping my fingers crossed and all that but you already know that I'll be thinking of you, hoping for some good news.

I hear turkey basters are good for extracting things, perhaps you could use it on you Dutch doctor, that way, she may be able to get her head out of her arse.

B said...

i thought brothels were pricey?

Zoeyjane said...

Here's hoping that it rains sheets while you're there, leaving you stranded in the hotel with nothing to do. 37 times.

Bluestreak said...

Ah, so what if positivity is slimey yellowy?

Enjoy London and bone freely and ironically.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Penelope - We certainly did!

@Christa - would be more than amusing, and irritating.

@Lorna - that's very true, unfortunately!

@Tismee2 - Awwwww, thanks.

@James - 'said the actress to the bishop'...

@Tanya - I LOVE their second album...

@tiff - We just have to wait and see how it goes!

@B - relative to dinner, a few drinks, and a taxi home...nah.

@Zoeyjane - we'd be found dead...

@Bluestreak - Done and done!