Friday, 20 March 2009

Once more into the breach

It's been 10 days since we really 'came out' about our story so far.

The responses have been genuinely surprising and overwhelmingly positive. I'm glad my original cynicism has been proven misplaced.

Today in the Irish Times there is another feature, The great conception question, this time based on the responses they received to the original article last week (which is here).

Of course, being the gobby creature that I am, I have added my two cents worth to the article

We can't stress enough how happy we are to get the backing we have from everyone, extended family, old friends, and complete strangers. I wish that everyone in this situation could benefit in the same way.

Maybe the feature today will get people thinking about being more open about their 'trying to conceive' struggles, or remind people to tell those that do, that they are behind them.

It really does make the world of difference.


37 comments:

womb for improvement said...

Nice one.

Bubba said...

I agree, it shouldnt be the tabbo subject that it is !!
Well Done !. xx

Making Babies said...

"coming out" was the best thing I could ever have done!! I don't know where I would be without my amazing "on-line" and "real life" support groups... I hate when people consider talking so openly about TTC or infertility as taboo... enough to bring my claws out...

Loved your article!! :)

Angel said...

You nailed it again! Great job. I feel almost famous by association.

WiseGuy said...

Considering the fact that doctors talk about 1 in 6 striking lucky with fertility issues, it was a long time coming to have open discussions. I am so glad that you have been welcomed so well and so warmly.

A big thumbs up to you!

tysdaddy said...

How cool, to see that by being open you've given others hope. Nice perk, maybe?

Happy weekend . . .

mrsmiller2007 said...

Now that I've had my morning cry. You story is so familiar to me, most of what you said is what my husband and I have been going through for the last 2 years. Thank you so much for being brave and putting it all out there.

Could I have permission to post links to both your stories and your blog in my blog?

RobMonroe said...

The first time that we tried IUI we told both families, my co-workers and her co-workers. I felt like people were really supportive and we found out about other people in the same situation. The second time we went got back into the routine my wife wanted to be very secretive about it. I felt like I was on an island. It really is better to have others help with the process, even if it is just cheering the good times with you and sharing in your disappointment if that is the case.

Best of luck with your new cycle!

Ms. Moon said...

Honey, you have certainly given birth to SOMETHING. Amazing how frustration and a blog led to this.

WhatAboutNovember said...

I'm all teary in a coffee shop. Thanks.

So glad to know you.

Erika said...

Wonderful, courageous articles in the Times. The first one, in particular, opened my eyes to things I hadn't considered about wha tyou're going through. I send continued good luck to you and ET.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@womb for improvement - said the actress to the bishop...

@Bubba - absolutely, thanks.

@Making Babies - yes, it has really lifted us a bit by opening up, thanks.

@Angel - Yes indeed daaaaahling.

@WiseGuy - The statistics certainly defy the reality of the discussions dont they!

@tysdaddy - Not a bad one at all! you too sir.

@mrsmiller2007 - Familiar and common, so it is. You are more than welcome to.

@RobMonroe - Some feel the need to keep it close to their chests, thats understandable. I just need to blab!

@Ms. Moon - it is a bit insane alright!

@WhatAboutNovember - the coffee THAT bad?

@Erika - Thank you.

Hockeyman said...

Of course I support you but I feel odd saying I'm behind you. That may imply I'm standing behind you watching and it's not the case. After all, you have enough pressure already. You don't need a performance judge behind you. Unless you're into that sort of thing but unfortunately I am not. Nice article and continued best of luck wishes.

sniffle said...

Hey Xbox, don't under estimate the goodness of the thing, cause when ye get over this hump, you'll still have the quality.

Good stuff outa you kid.

Feebee said...

What a fantastic response - well done again!!!

Putz said...

i would benefit cause you are coming to america to give me a big fat kiss...oh how i wish i could bblog once again

Anonymous said...

Brilliant article - know exactly what you mean about the vulnerability and fear of exposure - fear of more hurt and pain I guess. Maybe I should 'come out'???!
Lorna

Tismee2 said...

Big smiley fuzzy hug to you.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Hockeyman - What a supportive way to creep me out!

@sniffle - little hump eh? you're the man to have in an real emergency I reckon ;-)
Cheers.

@Feebee - The response to the original bit was really great, there were dozens and dozens more that could have been used.
And thanks, I appreciate that.

@Putz - At this stage putz, I nearly would!

@Lorna - Yes it's a shaky time, but you have to be comfortable with it, being dragged into conversations about it when you're just not ready isn't good for you either.
I can only say we were ready, and it has done us the world of good, honestly.

@Tismee2 - Why thank you!

Sniffle said...

I never said little. Hump in an Everest way or that teenage humping way. I meant well.

Sadia said...

To be serious, for once, I think the responsibility to raise awareness shouldn't fall only on those who have struggled with fertility. Because I have twins, people often assume I needed fertility assistance, and they STILL ask the insensitive questions about my daughters' conception. I think all of us who know folks who have struggled can speak out, and let people know how hurtful their assumptions and well-meaning advice can be.

iVegasFamily said...

You're famous! :)

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Sniffle -Oh no sir, I wasn't suggesting you weren't, I just loved the cool and calm way you addressed it. You are a gent sir.

(and please write more for the love of god)

@Sadia - I agree that it should be only on those who have struggled, but if it doesn't start from them, then I can't really see anyone else taking up the battle.
I see it as a circle, we talk, they learn, they talk, we learn type thing.

It must be really frustrating to have those assumption made toward you though. A pity.

@IVegasFamily - Think I could get a run in an Hotel near you?

hotmamamia said...

Well, I am insulted...as if WE, your dedicated and loving followers have not provided you with the TLC and support... but seriously, it is definitely a good thing to have these open and honest and frank discussions....one is not alone!

With luck, you and ET will need one cycle and that will be it! Looking forward to the announcement, whenever it may come.

River said...

There was an infertility story on our current affairs program tonight and I thought they'd got hold of your newspaper article, but it was about surrogate mums in India.

James said...

Great follow-up Xbox! If you don't watch out you will be a regular with them. Then the Irish Times would have an increased American following!

womb for improvement said...

Oooh, swish new look. I like it.

Have also added your suggestion to my list, pubes are just always funny - except when they are in soup. Ta.

goonerjamie said...

This just reminds me that every time I lose my temper, or wonder why on earth I had these monsters, I should just thank god they are here. Good luck to you both.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@hotmamamia - You lot came first, we'll never be let forget that!

@River - hahaha, there's a limit to how far one can be spread I think ;-)

@James - Yeah I'm reasonably pleased with it. Hard to write anything that doesn't have a knob joke.

@womb for improvement - Just a clean up, I may change again, not too sure about it.

@goonerjamie - Indeed, you're a lucky man. Except for being a gooner of course..."cough".
Welcome.

Kelley said...

I totally read 'gobby creature' as dobby creature and immediately pictured you as that little dude from Harry Potter.

Then I remembered that I saw your pic and YOU ARE DOBBY!

Want me to send you some old socks?

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Kelley - if you are mocking me in Harry Potter context you are wasting your time, all I know about Harry potter is that his wee girlfriend has started doing nude photo shoots.

Karen MEG said...

Your coming out (and I'm trying not to laugh here... yes I'm so mature) was long overdue. It's been inspirational, and certainly for me, it's taken me to a whole new place from my heart, and on my blog. I look at my kids everyday with wonder, really, that we survived the journey and they are really, really here.

This subject, taboo worldwide, really, needs to see more focus. Sure there are the stats, the medical jargon, but I doubt that emotional anguish associated with infertility has rarely if ever been captured with such poignancy, humour, and eloquence.

So, let me know if you want that quote for your book jacket ;)!

Good on ya, Martin!

AnnD said...

I am so proud of you! You are just amazingly wise and deserve all of the kudos you've gotten. Hell! You deserve more!

Here in the States we have crazy talk shows that have people with tragic stories come on and tell them. Then, at the end of the show, the show pretty much fixes whatever problem they are having (money, the right doctors, etc...)I hope someone reads this and the best fertility docs in the world swoop you and ET up, fly you to wherever you are and make a baby.

I think I'll email Dr. Phil and Oprah about you!

AnnD said...

wherever THEY are...sorry!

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Karen MEG - It's changing, slowly, and more so in some places than others, but its a start.

And screw a book jacket, that's going on a tshirt!

@AnnD - Heh, let me know in advance if Oprah is gonna call around, we should really get some biscuits in.

Thanks ;-)

IrishNYC said...

A day late and a dollar short here as always...

I've always been open about our struggle. Even now that I'm in a different place I still harbor an anger about it and still speak openly of what it took to get us here. With coverage for IF as spotty as it is here in the US, I figure the least I can do is talk about it and maybe others will be more comfortable with it and a nice snowball will build and someone will wake up and do something about it.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@IrishNYC - Good on you!