Wednesday, 24 June 2009

Berries and buds

The apple seed baby has grown.

Well, I'm assuming it has grown because it's now being compared to a grain of rice, or a blueberry, depending on what you read.

Firstly, I'm not so sure a grain of rice is any bigger than an apple seed, and secondly, telling your average thirty-something year old Irishman that something is similar to a blueberry is about as useful as tits on a bull.

I'm not comfortable with all this measuring up against healthy foods and fruit business. I'd much prefer if they compared its size to things I'm familiar with.

'This week your baby is the size of a malteser, or a McNugget, or one of those sugar lumps you carry around in your pocket you disgusting man', would be much more indicative for me.

At its current age of 6 and half weeks old, this leader among embryos is growing a set of kidneys, which should come in handy. It also has buds for arms and legs, and I wonder if it's already trying to shove it's bud-fist into the empty space in its face where its mouth will be.

Where exactly you would fit these four limb buds, set of kidneys, and last week's beating heart on a blueberry, I'm not so sure.

Small as it may be, the bugger is demanding. Mouth or no mouth, it manages to communicate through it's host interpreter who in turn informs me what 'the baby wants'.

The baby wants the lasagne without the spinach so go back and get it, the baby wants the red throw over and not the blue one, and the baby wants to watch another episode of 'Ashes to ashes' and most definitely not that boring '24'.

In 9 days time we get to have a look at this wife squatter, and I'm bringing fruit.


48 comments:

michelle said...

Oh, just you wait. You think baby's demanding now? This baby's gonna have you running for stuff like you won't believe! It's quite a ride. Hold on tight!

M+B said...

I agree with Michelle, this baby is only gonna get more demanding, 1st through it's host, and then through it's own set of lungs!!!
How exciting, though this scan will be more about hearing that little heart beat for the first time, than seeing much (except for that heart beating)! Take your tissues it'll definately be one of those 'something in your eye' experiences :)

Amy said...

Mmm, it is tiny but there's a heck of a lot of detail there. As to how it all fits, perhaps we could ask those people who somehow manage to write your name on a grain of rice that you can wear around your neck...?
Anyhoo, the baby already has good taste. The red throw would be much nicer and 24 is definitely boring.

Chhandita said...

It is demanding? justwait for a few more weeks mate :)

Mick said...

Go to the BBC pregnancy calendar. I think they told me that my kid was the size of a 'baked been'. Now that is something normal!

9 days? Even I can't wait!

Mick said...

Just to clarify, they didn't tell me about the 'bean' (I wrote 'been' in my post :-/) lately. She's a little bigger now!

Mwa said...

Not very original, I know, but I feel compelled to agree with the other commenters. You ain't seen demanding yet!

If you like this, you are going to be delirious when you are being told to get up in the night to go and make some chocolate sandwiches, not to mention to clean up baby poo!

Hurrah for you!

Tanya said...

9 days!!! exciting!!!!

Babies arent demanding until they are born! I havent had a hot meal since mine has been born, she gets hungry just as I go to eat my tea EVERY time.

My baby must have communicated from inside the womb too, she wanted icecream, chocolate and a clean house. I had to obey.

womb for improvement said...

Are we talking long grain, Arborio, Basmati? Because there is quite a contrast. And how there can be a blueberry of discrepancy is beyond me, comparatively that is massive.

hello?

er ... hello?

Marylin said...

Lol like the others have said - just you wait! :P

I had a really funny tongue-in-cheek pregnancy book you two might want to look out for - called The Rough Guide to Pregnancy & Birth, by Kaz Cooke. Bloody hilarious - she also thinks all the comparisons between the baby and fruit are weird, which made me think of it. ;)

River said...

I had to get out my baby book (title- a Baby Is Born) to remember what a six week foetus looks like.

River said...

My Mistake, the book is titled A Child Is Born.

Single Parent Dad said...

I found an idiot proof weekly guide when Sam was up the duff. I will have a look around, but have a feeling it was a Boots guide.

Marita said...

I can't help but grin like an idiot for joy everytime I read your blog these days.

River said...

Have you seen this website?
www.lets-panic.com
Quite funny.

Sinead said...

Glad to hear ET is taking advantage of her condition. I never did and I am seriously regretting it:)

WhatAboutNovember said...

You know, I wondered the same thing - and I DON'T think a grain of rice is bigger than an apple seed. Whoever came up with that one should have thought a little harder.

I, on the other hand, rather like the fruit image. It makes the little one seem so small and sweet. ;)

If you'd like another metaphor, you could compare the thing to a half carat diamond. Now, that's a gem. ;)

Daisy said...

Am so happy for you, can't believe it, so excited about this journey for you all!!

Ms. Moon said...

This whole comparing the fetus to a fruit thing is new as far as I know. I think it's a bit odd. When my friend Billy calls his Maw Maw to tell her the weekly baby-fruit-size of his and Shayla's wife-squatter (that is so great, by the way) Maw-Maw says, "Just tell me when it's baby-sized."

Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo said...

I reckon your kid looks like SpongeBob.

bsouth said...

Looks like ET has worked out your weak spot. Good on her!

Sarah said...

The ultra sound is gonna blow your mind.

WiseGuy said...

Can't believe all the adjectives and names you have found for the baby!

Spare the fruits, XBox!

And in 9 days....yes!

All the very best!

Erin said...

I am excited to hear your news from the apt. We to got our positive about a week ago so I am a few days behind you...it was a long road getting here for both of us so I will be crossing everything for good news. Kinda fun, I can read from you what might happen for me a week early! Congrats! love your writting!

Russ said...

Ah yes, I remember those days. Heart so big you swear it will burst from your chest. "It's for the baby" ice cream, chocolate, etc. (Don't you even think about smoked meat or seafood. Death awaits anyone who brings smoked seafood.)

Elfinamsterdam said...

Just when I think you have to have ran out of original things that can be said.....


you come up with Wife Squatter....

lol Tell "beanyberry" to say cheese I want a nice snapshot!

Ps they do excellent 3D Ultrasounds in Dublin! :)

Kim said...

Glad to hear the little one is taking full advantage of your willingness to please.

Toffeemama said...

Congrats on your ever-growing baby! I'm really excited for you; pregnancy is a crazy ride! Does ET have super-smell yet? Just wait until you find out....

Chelsea Lietz said...

Ha! You'll be a fine fetcher... er, I mean father!
9 days... can't wait!

Kori said...

Well clearly, clearly, red is better.

AnnD said...

This is the easy part!!

Plus, I know you are LOVING doing all of the running for her. I'm not being sarcastic, I can picture you responding to her requests with a huge smile while you skip out the door!

9 days and then an U/S?! Did I understand that correctly?!

I'm so excited!!!!! I'm almost as excited for yours as I am for mine!

Tara R. said...

The woman is eating for two, get her the spinach-less lasagna! What were you thinking?!

I love reading your take on all of these baby moments.

B said...

Spinach in lasagna? madness!

Ashes to Ashes series 2 is rather good, not Life on Mars good, but still. Ending is a complete mindfuzzle though.

and it depends on the grain of rice.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@michelle - heh ;-)

@M+B - tissues I have plenty of !

@Amy - I'm starting to like 24...

@Chhandita - bring it on!

@Mick - i've used that, its a good quick glace guide actually.

@Mwa - and hopefully not mix the two!

@Tanya - almost 8 ;-)

@womb for improvement - You're losing me....

@Marylin - We have it! it's good, funny.

@River - Teeeeeeny. That website is really funny.

@Single Parent Dad - is it REAL idiot proof though, like ME idiot proof?

@Marita - Me neither!

@Sinead - I find that hard to believe....

@WhatAboutNovember - puntastic.

@Daisy - Thank you ;-)

@Ms. Moon - I wish I could wait until it was baby-sized!

@Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo - could be worse, could be aussie.

@bsouth - no encouragement please.

@Sarah - sounds like a rap song.

@WiseGuy - hehe thanks!

@Erin - nice, close then! and welcome!

@Russ - noted!

@Elfinamsterdam - long way to go for one though!

@Kim - spoiled, more like.

@Toffeemama - she has had a few moments of sniffing magic!

@Chelsea Lietz - behave!

@Kori - Hhhmmmmph.

@AnnD - yep, a week on Friday!

@Tara R. - shame on me...

@B - the spinach is a mystery to me too. she loves AtA, and I'm under strict orders to acquire life on mars now too.

kma said...

Hee hee - those demands are just an entree for what bubs has in store for you over the next 20 years!

First scan - so exciting for you both!

Are you gonna put it on YouTube? ;)

AnnB said...

Grains of rice, wife squatter? This is a very good start. Sounds like things are progressing very well. Only another 20 odd years to go; enjoy.

adrienne said...

oh! a blueberry...

perhaps not the best analogy for an irishman, but it's YOUR little bluberry, isn't it?

hotmamamia said...

9 days?? forgot to look at the date...perhaps it is 8 or 7 days now?? We will be seeing pics, right???? I can't wait for ET to start her cravings....THEN, you'll understand the word demanding...bwahahahahaha!

samcrea said...

Jesus, your Pregnant!
Congrats to you both,
and thanks be to Fuck!

The blog needed a new impetus!

And believe me, Nappy rash will be a long way down the list of things that will drive you crazy.

But of course you will also be crazy with love for baby too.

Whopee!

(sorry to regular readers who did all this rejoicing weeeks ago)

Jo Beaufoix said...

Hmmm, papercuts, ouch. All caught up and loving the card. Blumming fabulous. And ET is right. Baby is now in charge and you must obey. Mwah ha ha ha haaaa. x

loveyh said...

I am still so happy for you both and crossing all my appendages! I haven't been around in the blogosphere for a while--life got in the way--but I was thinking of you and the lovey wife and HAD to check in. I am so glad I did!

swile67 said...

I haven't been on my blog reader in awhile so just catching up and heard your exciting news! Congrats!

James (SeattleDad) said...

Must be a girl since the baby doesn't want to watch '24'

Jasper Mockingbard said...

Do enjoy the small rice/blueberry-sized bit of joy, because, later, the wife is going to be screaming while she's squeezing out something the size of a watermelon.

Putz said...

so how many cycles did it take to do the job, 26, 27, i am sure it wasn't 28 and certainly not the 48 i had to wait, and now the counting is different 6 and a half weeks then 2 months and 3 and then 48 if you were waiting for an elephant

struglas said...

i know i'm a bit late to this party and it doesn't really pertain to this post but fucking hell man... a dad? the ol'lady gave me the news when it went down and i truely felt relief for you guys. that's totally awesome and it couldn't have happened to a better guy. and just think, you thought you had been working hard up till now. congrats from austin, texas.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@kma - You know, I can't see that happen!

@AnnB - ;-)

@adrienne - Yep! makes me want a muffin though.

@hotmamamia - A week from today!

@samcrea - I'm not, but she is!

@Jo Beaufoix - I'll have to sort that out and fast!

@loveyh - Thank you!

@swile67 - Cheers! ;-)

@James (SeattleDad) - My thoughts exactly!

@Jasper Mockingbard - out of something the size of a lemon ;-)

@Putz - 28 Mr Putz,
I'm sure she'll be thrilled at the thought of an elephant.

@struglas - Thanks sir!

Blues said...

This is one of the reasons I want to be pregnant. To have some veto power around this joint.