Monday, 8 June 2009

Tread softly

I have more than a couple of pet peeves about this whole infertility circus.

If I started writing about them all, I'd be here so long I'd lose the energy to make a fist. So I won't.

Two of them, however, won't be escaping so lightly.

One can't be helped, it's unavoidable. I hate not being able to be there for every appointment. I've managed so far for every scan and talk with the doctors, but there are other things that I can't be at.

There's often no reason for me to be there, when ET takes a blood test for example, it just irks me. Often, appointments with the specialist are carried out over the phone directly with ET, which I'm also not there for.

The other, is very much avoidable. Why can't these doctors or nurses just be nice? We have had some friendly ones, but more often than not, they don't crack a smile.

They are surely clever enough to equate working in a fertility clinic with having patients who could do with seeing the occasional friendly face. We don't go to make their day worse or just to irritate them.

People who need to be there, need help and reassurance, yet too many of those providing the help seem to do so almost grudgingly.

I wonder do they need reminding of what it is they do, changing the lives of people every single day.

These two pet peeve cross paths this morning, ET is going to the clinic by herself for a blood test.

A pregnancy test.

I'll be at work, hoping that whoever she deals with today will just give her a smile.

She deserves it.


72 comments:

Momma said...

Holy Crap....it might be for real this time!!! I can't wait to hear the results of her test, keeping my everything crossed and a hold on God's ear!!! Best of luck surviving the wait.....:)

Alison said...

Sending lots of smiles and positive vibes your way.

Amanda said...

I've got everything crossed for you.

Bonnie B. said...

You said it Momma, "Holy crap!" And it's 10:30 pm here in California and I WAS headed off to bed, but now I won't be able to sleep! It's SO hard to sleep with everything crossed.......

Tara R. said...

If you need me to I will jab the hateful trolls with a stick.

Good luck with the test!

Dan said...

Good luck man.

bsouth said...

I've spent a considerable amount of time in the not so loving bosom of our nhs system of late. The way my son and I have been treated, you'd think I'd made him asthmatic deliberately - they're a right mardy bunch of buggers the world over.

Good luck for the blood test.

Veronica said...

Fingers crossed!

River said...

Forget the doctors and nurses. I'm smiling enough for everybody. a pregnancy test!! Woo-hoo! How soon will you know the results? Do they tell her immediately? I'm hoping SO hard that it's positive.

Sheila said...

Here's hoping that the phone call from ET this morning will be everything you have both wished for! I hope that you have to spend the morning phoning both your families to tell them, because you don't want them to find out from the blog, but instead in person from you guys. We're all here rooting for you both and can't wait to hear your news - whichever way it goes, everyone who reads this blog will be here for you both.

Ali said...

I am so hoping that ET gets good news this morning. I have everything crossed!

Mwa said...

Just sending in some extra love from Belgium. Best of luck!

Lilacspecs said...

Good luck hun! You deserve it (both of you).
And yes, doctors here in Flanders are assholes. Dentists too.
The only nice doctors I've met have been at the free clinic in our neighborhood. It's a socialist style setup and the docs that work there basically take a pay cut to help people in the area (mostly immigrants). They are wonderful and nice and compassionate.
But the rest of them? Total dicks. I'm pretty sure we'll be living here when we try to have kids and I'm scared to death.

tiff said...

thinking of you both.

Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo said...

I have dealt with too many of those 'professionals' in my time.

I think that they need personality training as part of their education.

*holding breath*

Making Babies said...

I will be sitting on the edge of my seat all day!!! Wishing you both the very best.....

Womb For Inprovement said...

And yet sometimes I would prefer my Doctor to keep her default miserable countenance rather than force her mouth into the rictus-like grimace she clearly learnt during 'Bedside manner, unit 1.01'.

Very best of luck today.

Panni said...

Holding thumbs!

AnnB said...

A personality is not a requirement for entry into med school obviously.

I hope today's test spells a positive end to your encounters with these humourless drones!

Jenni said...

I've had to deal with my share of assholes at my pediatrician's office, so I hear you. I'm here with my kid, worried for his heal, and you treat me like an idiot? Thanks.

Anyways, GOOD LUCK to ET, and to you both. It must feel so close you can taste it.

Nicki said...

Good luck, will be holding fingers.

Hilly said...

I'm crossing my fingers, toes, arms, legs....you know, right after I type this!

Anonymous said...

I've been reading your blog for quite some time, and after having two miscarriages myself, you give us hope. Here's hoping everything goes right for you today!

Craig D said...

:0)
:0)
:0)
:0)

naughty said...

Thinking of you both today, wishing you lots of luck and crossing everything for you.
I hear you on the 'friendliness' of the staff in the clinic, it's the same with the one we are attending here in Dublin. We are thinking of changing only we have gone so far with this one. Anyway as long as we get the end result I don't really care!!
Best of luck to you.

Sarah said...

Wow. Beta time. Heres to hoping this is the last time you guys have to go through this.

Also, ET must be the strongest willed woman on earth to not have tested at home.

Ms. Moon said...

Mmmmm....

Russ said...

Damn dude! Fingers are crossed! and daughter is climbing the stairs!

Marissa said...

GOOD LUCK!!!! My thoughts, prayers & well wishes are with you both!!!!

Kori said...

I hate the time change; since it is the butt crack of dawn here, you probably already know one way or another, and I have no clue. sigh, didn't you know it's really all about me? I am a fragile soul and cannot handle the suspense, thankyouverymuch.

AnnD said...

Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod......I'm praying!!!

And you are right...people in the medical profession need to be very careful about how they treat people...I'm sorry that there are a few bad eggs that ruin each place!

expatswede said...

Oh my god. I'm away for a few days and suddenly ET is off having a pregnancy test? Are you seriously telling me you guys haven't already used up a whole box of tests at home?

Apparently I can never go away again or I'll miss other big news you're dropping here like bombs! Thanks. ;)

And hoping for smiles from the staff? Are you drunk? You know that if it weren't for pesky clients/patients like yourselves the staff could have a dandy time sipping coffee and chatting about their weekend. Smiles? Keep wishing.

Hoping for good news for you guys.
Minna

meabh said...

I'm on my 3rd clinic!! "Naughty" I think we may have attended the same one on the northside? I had a list of questions but the doc grabbed it out of my hand & said HE would tell me what I NEEDED to know!!
Xbox & ET my heart goes out to you both today...the longest day. Please let it be good news. Take care x

first timer said...

I have everything crossed for you and your beloved ET.

ryanandjoesmom said...

sitting on pins and needles (no pun intended) over here! they better freaking smile at her - and not one of those fake 'hi i'm better then you cuz i have the needle and will know the results before you do' smiles either!

Anonymous said...

That just gave me the chills in the end! That is probably it baby! HUG HUG HUG.

Sadia said...

I'm holding my breath over here.

I know it killed my husband every time he missed a prenatal appointment. Plus, the Army sent him off to training while our twins were in the hospital, so he didn't get to bring them home.

Trust me, your inability to be there is harder on you than her or (squeal, maybe!!) Baby.

Putz said...

i wasn't going to comment till we all knew for sure but you guys are so slow with news...so it is all in the blood right now..

WhatAboutNovember said...

Holy holy crap. Praying for smiles, and the right kind of tears...

M+B said...

Crossing everything for you

geeksinrome said...

sending ++++++++ thoughts
for +++++++++++ readings

WiseGuy said...

All the best to you guys....

Hope ET gets treated better....

Sniffle said...

Still no words

Anonymous said...

I am on my Knees!!
Deno

darcie said...

I work in one of these god forsaken clinics - not a fertility one - but one that is just chalk full of asshat doctors - and nurses.
Sorry you've had to encounter these folks on this journey...
And now - I must go back to holding my breathe while I wait to hear today's news!

James (SeattleDad) said...

Big Smiles for you all here. Waiting for good news.

Claire said...

Checking blog frantically for news...please please let it be good news! Rooting for the pair of you xxx

Anonymous said...

I have checked your blog about fifty times in two hours!!
My nails are gone.
I am visualizing you passed out on the floor with excitement....please be passed out on the floor.
Deno
XXX

Lea said...

OMG. Good luck!!!

WhatAboutNovember said...

I agree with anonymous just before me. I'm trying to restrain myself from checking your blog every 15 minutes and pestering your inbox. Self control, self control. :)

Christa said...

::crosses fingers::

AnnD said...

I keep praying every time I think about you. Then, I run on here to check your blog. I hope you are both reveling in joy right now!!!!!

Jane G said...

Dying with suspense here. Praying that the beta is good :)

IrishNYC said...

My fingers are crossed that there are lots of smiles after the results today.

My experience with the fertility clinic was the same. Such misery. You'd think with all the sadness of the patients they'd have a bit of a smile for everyone. Never was a kind word uttered to me except by the occasional nurse or phlebotomist. The doctors and front desk staff were all horrors whom you'd think were dragged to work by their hair every morning. It made me want to go to medical school, and start my own RE practice just so I could be nice to people.

nh said...

Just loads of luck and smiles and positive vibes.

Lorna said...

Gosh, it will be a long day in work for you. Hope she get a smile too x

Alyssa said...

Fingers are crossed and sending prayers across the world.

Amanda Bowden said...

Hi!!!

I often read but have never yet commented. However after many refresh's today I need to write something.

So fingers & toes crossed for you guys.

iamstacey said...

Sending you good vibes from Texas! I love your blog, you just crack me up! Thanks for writing!

AnnD said...

I assume they are testing her hCG levels?

I almost always got mine back by the end of the day! I hope you guys get yours back by the end of today too!

Sue said...

Oh my god... So hoping she gets a reasonably pleasant person at the clinic and that you get wonderful, well-deserved, strong beta result!

Mick said...

Yes, she does. If anyone deserves it, it's you two. Waiting here with baited breath.

I agree with you though. It's really hard not being with the one you love during those difficult times.

Anonymous said...

You're killing me, Smalls!!!

May the luck of the Irish be with you both!!!

Chaos said...

fingers crossed, along with everything else!

Christa said...

I'm totally balded from pulling my hair out.

Thanks.

Insch Stalker said...

oh my, I sooooo hope its good news and that you are celebrating together now.

Have to say I feel utterly blessed in that the (NHS) fertility clinic in Aberdeen, the staff are wonderful. Many a time they have given me a cuddle when it was most needed, and a shoulder to cry on too. They were also over the moon when we took the wee man back in to visit.

Really hope they were kind to ET, and gentle with her - its such an emotional and worrying time... if they weren't let me know, and I'll come over and kick some behind to try and see if they can be a bit human!

Love to you both x

Karen MEG said...

X, I've got to say, ET is so very lucky to have you with her on this roller coaster. I mean, you are REALLY in this together, and I think that's amazing.

Your experiences aren't too different than what I dealt with I'm afraid...but there were a couple of friendly faces that I looked forward to seeing at the clinic. And an asshole doctor that I was glad I didn't have to deal with more than that one time.

Really hoping this is it, cuz you both really deserve this...

Robin said...

This is your lucky day. I hope. I pray. Let us know.

nola said...

AND!??!?!! Best wishes!

Louise said...

The silence on your blog made me think that maybe something good was happening.... (or at least nothing bad had happened.) So, I was nearly afraid to look at your entry this afternoon. What a relief! Best of luck with the test - I feel nervous for you, so can't imagine how you guys feel!!

Magpie said...

Found you through the awesome Kelley - been reading a bit of the back story - so interesting to see the infertility stuff through the eyes of a soon-to-be dad.

Congratulations and good luck.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Everyone - Thanks for the good luck wishes, special thanks to those new names I see there, de-lurking and commenting for the first time, I appreciate it.