Monday, 19 October 2009

Kid Rock

Kidlet is now the proud owner of a pair of headphones.

I say 'proud' without being absolutely certain, but I'm taking its stoic silence as a sign of quiet pride.

I've decided that I can't let its host and mother rot its developing brain with whatever jingle separates episodes of 'girls of the playboy mansion', and so I'm piping in the tunes.

Whatsit's remaining life in the womb will be like strolling around Tesco or hanging around a petrol station forecourt, without knowing it, it will be subliminally educated in the sounds of Nina Simone, Jeff Buckley, The Beatles, Christie Hennessey et al.

And maybe some others who are actually, well, alive.

The headphones themselves are big comfortable belly spanning padded things, which if they are actually over the baby's ears, it means we have one hideously odd shaped child on the way. In reality, there is probably one earphone on the kids forehead, and another sending Chrissie Hynde vibrations right up its arse.

It's a secret hope of mine that ET falls asleep with them stretched across the bump so I can draw a face on her gut with permanent marker.

I'm choosing to ignore the blatant possibility of the opposite being true, but due to the way it kicked up a storm 30 seconds into the opening beats of James Morrison live in concert last night, I'm of the firm belief that the kid likes a bit of music.

That's what I'm using to justify spending more on the baby's headphones than I did on its new wardrobe. A fact which is much more indicative of the quality of the wardrobe than the headphones.

Anyway, all suggestions for decent (i.e. not Canadian) tunes for the bellydweller will be greatly appreciated.

Rock on.


56 comments:

Hockeymandad said...

Damien Rice, Ray LaMontagne, Guster, etc... They say though classical is best for the baby so be sure to get a lot of Mozart and what not in there. I did the same with my kids, they turned out pretty good.

Christa said...

The husband mentioned getting a pair of those just yesterday... We'll see.

AnnD said...

Excellent!

Mine likes "Let It Be" (especially that guitar solo in the middle) and I just play that one over and over again for her/him.

That'll be neat if Lil Fitz has a favorite and you can play it for him/her as a newborn and it will be familiar and oh so comforting!

womb for improvement said...

Maybe something to encourage a smooth uneventful birth. I'm thinking "Like a Bat Out Of Hell".

Kori said...

Owen loved Jack Johnson, Switchfoot, and Ozzy. There you go-some good tunes to start off with. To innure some gender equality, the Indigo Girls are a sure bet. Um, I wouldn't mind some Chrissy Hyne vibrations on my ass-just sayin.'

James (SeattleDad) said...

Well, I was going to suggest Celine Dion, but...

Yeah, that wasn't even funny typed out. Sorry.

Ms. Moon said...

Uh, how about some Beethovan? Or Mozart? Bach? I think Baby Fitz might appreciate a bit of the old as well as the new.

Daniel said...

we had a funneral today for paul edward fore, and a friend said he was on the phone to a computer company with the phone crunching his neck and paul went immediately to find head phones for him so he wouldn't hurt his neck....no puns, no humor, no satire....just a nice charatable thing to do for another person

Daniel said...

oh that was me above david h barlow, the putz and not daniel, sorry

babyattheend said...

I've been loving the new Reigning Sound. I think anything with a nice bass drum would be perfect, though!

frogpondsrock said...

Hunters and Collecters(under one roof)
Foo fighters (in your honor), Nickelback(All the right reasons), Things of stone and wood, R.E.M(Automatic for the people)
Crash test dummies (best of)
Taj mahal,Santana,Nick cave (Let love in)
Laurie Anderson(Big Science) The Murmurs(The murmurs)

There that should keep you busy for a bit.

Ginny said...

I read. I was going to help.

Then I read the last sentence.

Times like this, it's probably best we haven't exchanged phone numbers. Prick.

Anonymous said...

for bedtime, I recommend Matthew Zachary. Great pianist

People in the Sun said...

How about a tailor-made mantra? Just whisper this sentence again and again after ET fall asleep:

"Daddy is right. Daddy is right. Daddy is right."

Veronica said...

Isaac liked Pink Floyd, Pearl Jam and Anna Nalick. In fact, they can make him stop screaming and go to sleep now.

My assvice? Pick songs you don't mind listening to over and over, because they may just help a grotty baby settle. (The play count on Anna Nalick's 'Breathe' is at 250 on Nathan's computer and at 80 on mine.)

Dan said...

I used to read to Amy while she was in the womb. P G Wodehouse mainly. I hope she listened back then, because she never bloody listens to me now.

River said...

Ummm....Electric Light Orchestra? Elton John?
I'm betting you won't be playing any Alan Jackson, Garth Brooks, George Strait, Trisha Yearwood, Faith Hill......

bsouth said...

Most of what they said. I don't recognise a couple of them, I wouldn't include Nickleback (sorry Kim) and I would add Inme, AC/DC and Faith No More.

frogpondsrock said...

@ Barbara what's wrong with Nickelback you heathen?

bsouth said...

@frogpondsrock what's right with them?

Joe @ IrrationalDad said...

We always had the intention of getting baby headphones when Sarah was pregnant, but that never happened. I'll have to ask her why we dropped that idea.

Annb said...

We had amazing experiences with a music therapy called therapeutic listening. Within a few sessions, Rory was off all blood pressure medicine and his engagment with the world around him came on in leaps and bounds. He's now completely turned on by all kinds of music and does a very good Jeff Buckley if you ask him nicely! So rock on!

Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] said...

My suggestions:

N*SYNC
Backstreet Boys
98*
O-Town
Westlife
NKOTB
Take That
Jonas Bros
New Edition

I found a CD that features many of these: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Ultimate-Boy-Bands-Various-Artists/dp/B000FDJ4CW

You're SO welcome.

Danielle said...

2 words: movie montages

Eye of the Tiger
Push it to the Limit from Scarface
Europe's The Final Countdown
Break the Ice from Rad soundtrack
or how about just Salt N Pepa Push It

I'm just sayin...

Russ said...

Mine liked classical. Still do. Of course they also got a good dose of Pink Floyd.

Bonnie B. said...

Hey wait a minute - when Bellydweller started "kicking up a storm 30 seconds into the opening beats of James Morrison" how do you know he/she wasn't trying to say "Turn that damn thing down, I'm trying to get some sleep in here!!" or "For god's sake, put on something from this century, Dad!!!"

geeksinrome said...

hate to piss on your parade, but you should be careful with how loud you have the music. (bonnie b. is right).

It should be played at a really low volume because water carries sound extremely well.

The way I gauged if I was disturbing my belly-baby was if he "kicked up a storm" when I played something. If he made a fuss, I stopped. Also, wait until your baby is awake (don't want to wake him up for Chrissakes!!).

areyoukiddingme said...

Don't have any suggestions for you...just be careful. My girl has a distinct preference for Belinda Carlisle, Fergie, and Jojo. I did NOT listen to any of that while pregnant.

Kim said...

Stevie Wonder or Van Morrison, maybe. My neices love The Fray and Dire Straits.

Not Canadian? I hope that menas we don't have to suggest that little Fitz there never have its little ears subjected to Nickelback.

Susanica said...

It's killing you not to be able to say he or she isn't it? -M

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Hockeymandad - As much as I like a listen to those, I think the kid would be born clinically depressed.

@Christa - If I was married to you I'd want headphones too...;-P

@AnnD - Beatles are getting a LOT of play at the moment, and I was never a fan before.

@womb for improvement - what are you calling my wife?

@Kori - enough of your anal delights please...family show.

@James (SeattleDad) - For.Shame.

@Ms. Moon - All taken care of.

@Putz - Nice on Putz.

@babyattheend - never heard of them, thats one to check out.

@frogpondsrock - I'll pretend you didnt say Nickelback but you've reminded me to pull out Nick Cave.

@Ginny - Awww. Admit it though....

@Anonymous - another new one, I'll check.

@People in the Sun - already piped into the bedroom...

@Veronica - sounds sensible enough!

@Dan - Have you heard my voice? NOT baby soothing tones. I'm thinking of using sign language when it's born.

@River - I've nothing against any of those, but probably not ;-)

@bsouth - AC/DC...

@Joe @ IrrationalDad - she doesnt like your taste in music. trust me.

@Annb - That sounds great, I've no doubt about how much difference it can make.
Thats really great to hear.

@Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] - Next.

@Danielle - hahaha clever,

@Russ - Well aren't we posh!

@Bonnie B. - I would agree if it wasnt for the fact James Morrison is marginally older than the foetus himself.

@geeksinrome - Yes M'. We will try to not deafen our unborn.

@areyoukiddingme - Belinda Carlisle, good lord.

@Kim - Barring the Fray, good stuff there...

@Susanica - In short, yes.

Jo said...

Babies like Bass. Erika Badu.

Jimmy said...

and a cold, bonechilling silence from the Canadian side of the room...

Maxi Cane said...

Fuck the pain away by Peaches.

It's yer only man.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXiFuU7X_Fo&feature=related

~Tanya~ said...

Mine kicked to violin music while in the womb. Nothing else. Just violin.

Hilary (Maya Papaya) said...

Maya's favourites (or maybe she hated them, I don't know, but they always seemed to make her kick) were:

Simon & Garfunkle - Scarborough Fair and America
and ANYTHING by the Beatles, especially Something.

Hey! Did NOT appreciate the Canadian comment! ;)

Hilary (Maya Papaya) said...

Oh! And I almost forgot! Flamenco music. We played lots of that!

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Jo - maybe thats why it moves when it hears my deep booming voice...

@Jimmy - I bet you are really big and could kill me with one blow.
Having said that, Ray LaMontagne claims to be French-Canadian, so maybe...

@Maxi Cane - I may have to think about that one...

@Tanya - violin makes my teeth itch

@Hilary (Maya Papaya) - Beatles are coming to the fore I see...

Edith said...

I'm more leaning towards songs/artist I don't like, because before you know it, you'll have a rebellious child who will only want to listen to Britney Spears, Nikkelback and oh can I say this out loud... Creed... ;)

But obviously some Pearl Jam should be involved and maybe some Prince? It will get the little bugger bouncing around!

River said...

@frogpondsrock; I don't like nickleback either and I hate matchbox 20 too.

Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo said...

strap those puppies around a glass of water and watch the water vibrate.

THAT is what you are doing to the sack of fluid your sprog is swimming around in.

He is gunna need a sub woofer in his tricked out crib, yo.

(BTW my music of choice when pregnant with Moo was The White Album, Too was Kiss - Greatest Hits and Boo was Working out with Barbie)

Christa said...

Asshat

Quickroute said...

Sir Mixalot - 'Baby got back'

rachelbk said...

Sinatra, definitely. My daughter, at age 11 can still belt out 'that's why the lady is a tramp.'

rosiescribble said...

What a fabulous idea. They say Mozart builds IQ. Can't stand it myself but the scientists probably base this belief on more accurate data than I have.

Mary said...

Thanks for stopping by:)

My baby might come out humming the tune to 'the girls of the playboy mansion' as well. Mental note to self...must watch better tv while on bed rest.

Ave said...

You know there is so much crap and this blog is so sweet and I love it. Congratulations you guys, since I started reading this I have started my dream job and am loving it and like you it felt like an awefully long gestation before I achieved it. Enjoy every moment and thanks for seeing me through my exams and I hope I meet you in real life to thank you in person in the future

Sniffle said...

This is a good thought and a good thing thoo. ( cause I thoo thought about this)

Pastoral symphony, whale musings, martin luther mutterings, obama oratory, mandala on what we can be.

Soft , soft stuff in advance of the teenge madness, that he/she might remember and become becalmed.

I love Elbow's a day like this ever since i was enwombed.

A Free Man said...

A little bit jealous now.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Edith - I'd forgotten about Prince, dodgy lyrics though!

@River - Snap!

@Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo - Barbie... too many jokes...

@Christa - Mwah!

@Quickroute - there's always one...

@rachelbk - yes yes yes, a favourite too.

@rosiescribble - worth a shot anyway!

@Mary - That show gives me the creeps.

@Ave - Congratulations!

@Sniffle - Noted sir!

@A Free Man - You'd start again just to have another few months of playlisting eh?

B said...

"It's a secret hope of mine that ET falls asleep with them stretched across the bump so I can draw a face on her gut with permanent marker"
There's the future cover of the poorly selling, dodgy third re-issue (the budget one that no one wants to buy cos it has a weird cover) of your future bestseller!

The kid needs some Trevor Horn though.

Badness Jones said...

I've got to admit, I'm a little offended by your 'not Canadian' comment. So pffffft.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@B - heh, I can just see it now!

@Badass Jones - Awww. as Bryan Adams would say...'please forgive me?'

People in the Sun said...

Okay. Looks like I'm going to have to Caps Lock this thing:

ARCADE FIRE IS CANADIAN!

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@people in the sun - Still not selling it to me...

Dondi Tiples said...

1.) Jim Chapelle - Nightsongs and Lullabies
2.) Enigma - MCMXC A.D.
3.) The Best of Queen
4.) The Best of ABBA
5.) Amy Winehouse - Frank
6.) Bob Marley
7.) World's Best Loved Nursery Songs
8.) Musical Math
and don't hit me here, but my kids love
9.) Enya