Friday 13 February 2009

Friday the 13th revolution

For the record, lest there be any doubt, the best song into ever is on Stevie Wonder's "Superstition".

I may even rename Spencer to Stevie for this month in his honour, it certainly looks like he could use a white stick and a labrador to make his way around.

Don't even get me started on his rhythm.

One week of ooohing, aaaahing, and making of various other yummy noises down, and another to go. Today is CD15 and ET is ripe for the plucking.

Ripe for the plucking on Friday 13th.

Can you just imagine the intense pleasure you could derive from telling a whiney 14 year old in years to come that they were conceived on Friday the 13th?

"Jason, the truth is, you're not actually named after that singer with the funny hat."

Then again, is it fate?

Will the unluckiest day on the calendar invert and exponentially expand it's influence for good instead of evil?

I call on you, forces of misfortune and dread, make these previous twenty three unexplained unlucky failures redundant and make the unlucky lucky.

I feel like I should be standing bare-chested on a lightening ravaged cliff top, arms outstretched to the gods as I make my cry, but a basement office that smells of cheese and cigarettes will have to do.

If you have any clue what I'm talking about, please let me know, I'm buggered if I do.

The pleasant exhaustion of the week has taken it's toll.

Hump n'hope people, hump n'hope. Take 24.

EDIT: 13 indeed! I've just seen this, and I don't think I will ever have an erection again.


Anonymous said...

That's just wrong. Why do you read that stuff??

I LOVE Friday the 13th. Did you know we have three of them this year?! How lucky is that!?

Go, Spencer!

(If it's a girl, tell her she was conceived on Valentine's Day. My son will be 13 tomorrow, and all the girls think that's just sooo cool.)

Jane G said...

Between that story, the pregnant man and the octuplets, I feel like going home and sticking my head in the oven. Except the oven is electric :o)

We're humpin' and hopin' this weekend too. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

I can just see you on the cliff top - I'm not saying it's right - just that I can see it.

Jo said...

Friday the 13th is so called because of the Church's smear campaign of all things female and change to the Gregorian/solar calendar.

13 months in the lunar a calendar and a woman's menstrual cycle.

13 isn't unlucky, it's just female.


Anonymous said...

maybe you're destined to have the anti Christ..

Anonymous said...

I would find nothing wrong with making a pact with Mephistopheles, Herr Faustus.

Who cares if your sweet brood's head will spin a 360 and plot killing you while you sleep.
I hear that's what even normally conceived (those with divine intervention) teenagers do anyway.

Sarah said...

Friday the 13th is NOT unlucky. In fact, 13 is my lucky number...and today is my b-day. So there ya go. This has gotta be the one!

But I wanted to thank you for linking the "article". I threw up my bagel as I was reading. UGH!

Liz said...

Fucking hell, that article ...

But back to you. Because it is all about you.

I am delighted to see that you haven't completely forgotten your catholic roots and are practicing the rhythm method.

Russ said...

Might this qualify as irony? Sure does to me!

Chris said...

Was just curious if you are hoarding this away in your attic for some extra ammunition during you hump and hope?

WhatAboutNovember said...

"it certainly looks like he could use a white stick and a labrador to make his way around."


Mick said...

24's always been unlucky for me, so it has to be lucky for someone.

Holy crap, when I was that age I didn't even know what it was for!!

Good Luck

Lea said...

You crack me up! The part about needing a cane & labrador...I almost died. Too funny. :)

Hoping your luck is changing.

Ms. Moon said...

If you and ET adopted that little boy, you could get a baby, too. Sort of like two for the price of one.
Just a thought...

Anonymous said...

Pretend you are in Australia.

It is Valentines Day already here.

A Free Man said...

Superstition has one of the coolest opening riffs ever. Full stop.

Jenni said...

I'm a fan of that son as well. And that story of the boy makes me ill.

Anonymous said...

OMG...this so has to be the month...and to name the offspring Jason...too frickin funny that you even mentioned the name!

Anonymous said...

Hey, here's a thought. Baby face Alfie has a playstation and you're using an X Box. Piss of the X Box and get what Alfie plays with.

Or invite young Alfie over for the weekend and get him to knock ET up.

Anonymous said...

As soon as I saw that article online today, I thought of you! How on earth is a 13 year old boy gonna get a girl pregnant on the first shot, but you are going to need a professionals help for the 1000th shot?! This makes no sense at all to me.....but maybe your theory of friday the 13th working out will really happen, would be a great story to tell later too!

Anonymous said...

I think you may be on to something; in a "Bruce Almighty" sort of way. Smite me, Oh mighty smiter! Just make sure you have a black cat in the room and break a mirror first.

River said...

I've never found Friday 13th to be unlucky. Go Spencer! Ellie is waiting for you.

That young 13 year old doesn't look a day over 10. It's a shame for the two of them to lose their childhood like this.

Bluestreak said...

I nominated you on the Blogger Choice Awards:

It was a tough call between Best Blog About Stuff or Best Hobby Blog.

I Am Emily... said...

If you do conceive and its a boy, you will have to NOT name him Jason!

Mine was conceived on my 21st birthday...havent thought of any funny names yet though, had the doctors in hysterics when they worked the dates out.

I Am Emily... said...

p.s I clicked the link to that story and read it...did you know that in the middle ages 13-15 was the normal age to have a baby? people only lived till they were 30 if they were lucky so they were married at 12 and had children shortly after.

Anonymous said...

When I hear the words hump 'n' hope, I immediately think of some of the rappers that AJ listens to, with their over the top gold chains and their sunglasses, even when they're inside.

"Hump 'n' hope, dude. Peace out".
*thumps chest quickly over heart area*

Putz said...

love stevie wonder too, but who doesn' my romance on the putz and then say ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

James (SeattleDad) said...

Maybe Spencers buddy Jason will take over this time around. The irony would definitely be huge.

B said...

Fclucking superstition.

I was kinda expecting a post about the 6 year old father.
"What's financially?"

Paula Keller said...

I'm laughing at Jane's humpin' and hopin' comment because my husband and I used to call it the poke and hope method!

And... OH MY GAWD a 13 year old has a baby and I can't! Not Fair!

Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Mmmm, yes. Have discussed little Alfie. We wonder if it is actually possible that he's produced viable sperm when it looks like his balls haven't even dropped? Wondering whether Alfie was an easy scape-goat for the teen girl? In any case, another inappropriate parent story is not what you want to hear.
Time to get plucking, my friend. Good luck.

Anonymous said...

Yes I'd go along with the teenager thinking it was cool and all that - however, the mere thought of his parents actually 'doing it' would have him running back into the dank, foul smelling bedroom to play Halo on his X Box for another five days.

Just preparing you that's all!

Kim said...

I observed a case where the parents were both twelve when the baby was conceived. The mother dlivered shortly after her thirteenth b-day. Nothing shocks me anymore.

Martin said...

@Angel - It was actually just headline news, not possible to miss.

@Jane G - Hope it went well! although ive no doubt THAT bit went well.

@bsouth - Belly flapping in the wind....

@jothemama - NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF! she declared screaming at the top of her lungs

@Joe - That would be SO cool

@geeksinrome - I'd make a deal with ANYONE now...

@Sarah - well happy birthday bitch!

@womb for improvement - fucking hell is right. Poor kids.

@Russ - I think so! the fact he's 13 for sure. And I had posted before I even read the story.

@Chris - I'll have to wait until Im not at work to click that but I'll use anything that may be of aid!

@WhatAboutNovember - tis but the truth!

@Mick - I was trying to work it out in my head, if I had a clue by 12, don't think I did.
some would say I still don't.

@Lea - me too, thanks!

@Ms. Moon - a job lot! buy in bulk!

@Kelley - an australian romantic, do they exist?

@A Free Man - 'One of'? I say the best. Makes this pasty Corkman jive like he's been knocking back jack N'ginger in a Chicago club

@Jenni - yes, boy, sigh.

@hotmamamia - why so....?

@Anja - If he starts a blog, I'll be really pissed.

@Momma - Uh huh, uh huh, and more uh huh.

@NukeDad - I'm very 50/50 on Jim Carrey, not sure if that's a good thing or not!

@River - But they have been suitably compensated for their stories by the tabloid press...hmmmph!

@Bluestreak - I'm far too cool to be influenced by such things, but I'm very flattered.
Everytime I go back to that page and see that "1 Vote" badge, I'll think of you!

@Tanya - So you're saying I'm just lucky Im not dead?

@tiff - Word.

@Putz - The king of romance you are Putz.

@James - I'll take irony!

@B - you post skimmer you!

@PJ - hard to swallow alright eh?

@Amy - Must admit the same thought crossed my mind, and many others.
Either way, they have a job to do now, hope they get on and do it.

@Tismee2 - This is like social work for you!

@Kim - So very unfortunate. really is.

B said...

post skimmer? but what else could I add? especially when commenting 2 days late.

the jasons you mention are Jason Donovan and the idiot from those crap horror films?