Tuesday 17 November 2009

No pain, no name

It’s been a big few days in the world of a very little person.

On the beautifully apt Friday the 13th last, ET received the H1N1 vaccination.

A sore arm and plenty of normal movement activity later and everything is hunky dory. There have been no convulsions, no legs have fallen off, no hair has fallen out, and no-one has fallen into a coma, so I am delighted to announce that I don’t think the vaccination is a collective governmental syndicate plan to annihilate several generations of the human race.

So, unless kiddo turns up with three ears or knuckles for knees, everyone can just shut up.

The belly dweller has a completed room to call their own. Aside from the fact the crib won’t turn up until next year, the room is ready, bar the inevitable shouting and assault with leftover IKEA pieces.

Everyone loves a child who can perform on cue, and after a little training, the prenatal parasite learned a new trick on Sunday. Little Fitz now knows how to cause its mother no insignificant amount of physical pain, and scare the living shit out of its father.

Aww, cute.

For added effect it has perfected doing this in the dead of night, just to keep us on our toes. Luckily, the midwife is less bothered by the whole event, and we carry on as normal.

Perhaps the most significant development of the last few days is that possibly, perhaps, maybe, the kid has a name. Four baby name books containing a combined total of over forty five thousand names have proven utterly worthless, yet somehow one name has wafted under our noses and we’re not at each other’s throats over it. The signs are good.

Until we see the scrunched up face resembling a melted plastic bag make its appearance we just don’t know for sure, so therefore I openly invite all boy & girl name suggestions.

I do, of course, reserve the right to mock. Severly.


Edith said...

What about the gps locater they put in the vaccination?

I'm voting for Bea, Trix, Willem or Alexje.


Kori said...

I have already given you my suggestiions, and you DID mock, so I am tapped dry. And you eill meet baby and think, "Oh, no, THIS is what it is called!" anyway, so....

Russ said...

Well, you know my kids names. I like them and you are welcome to use the names. (Particularly since I have not copyrighted the names.)

Since I didn't have a choice in my son's name I'll throw a couple of them your way. Peter was a favorite of mine (family name to boot). Alex was on my short list too. Unfortunately, the Wife had already made up her mind. Short of saying that the name she wants translated to 'spawn of the devil' in Swahili, there was no chance of changing her mind.

As to the girl's name. My daughter's name I like. Lorelei and Dierdre was high on my list too. The Wife laughed in my face and you know what we settled on.

Anonymous said...

My two favorite names are Benjamin and Audrey, but I don't think we'll use them because D doesn't like them nearly as much as he should. I can only imagine the bickering that will happen when the time comes for us to name our kid...

Ms. Moon said...

I'm like Kori- I've already given you all my suggestions. But stick with the classics- that's my REAL suggestion. None of this trendy stuff.
But that's just me.
I'm so excited for you two. I mean really- think back to a year ago. And here you are- thinking of names and ordering cribs for your own real baby who is coming very soon.

Jenni said...

Sorry to hear about the pain. I wish I could say it got better. Well, it does, but not until the baby is born.

Oooh, I love the name game!

Girls: Willa, Pearl, Ruby, Lucia

Boys: Ian, Milo, Axel, Hugo (Oscar and Miles are, of course, my favorites)

Jenni said...

Oh, I really love Edith's suggestions as well.

annieg said...

Hi Xbox, well here are my kids' names and obviously I am biased and think they're cool! Eleanor, Oliver and Anna.

Ed said...

I was gonna say Ella. But I think that's been used.

I'm partial to Z names myself.

Jo Beaufoix said...

Hmmm, I reckon Marmaduke, or Pereguine, or Snortbuckle III, but that's just me. For a girl maybe Beryl?

No need to thank me.

Putz said...

bruce bob bill john josh jim paddy paul david darrin dallss duketony terrance talbot

Putz said...

or clarence casey cludburt frank fred freebgurg elohium ellis earl or in my immediate family michael daniel josh andrew owen braydon

Buck said...

Approximately 45 minutes ago, I too received the H1N1 vaccine. So far, all my limbs are still attached.

As for names, the front-runner for us according to my husband is McLovin. You could use it too. We wouldn't be offended.

Susanica said...

Hmmmm...I sure hope this name that has wafted under your noses is not the name that we give our little tyke in December. Cuz, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS YET! Su has indicated that it's possible that we not settle on a name until after he or she is born. Isn't that cruel or unusual punisment?
;-) -Monica

Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] said...

Pilot Inspektor

You're welcome.

merinz said...

And how about some NZ Maori names:-
Tipene (Stephen)
Wiremu (William)
Hone (John)
Rawiri (David)

frogpondsrock said...

I think Kim sounds pretty good.Well except when friends introduce you as Kimmy and then you have to tell total strangers that your name is Kim not Kimmy and they get all huffy and you get all stabby and....

Mick said...

Of course the name Michael is wonderful and rolls off the tongue in any language :-)

I like simple names like Adam and Peter also.

for your wee girl I'd recommend Marissa or Eve

okay, mock away...

Myst_72 said...

Well....I have a friend with 8 children (no, not octomum these were all one at a time!).
She has ~ Brittany, Gabrielle, Isabelle, Lily, Charlotte, Daisy, Harry and Lulu.
Imagine trying to think of middle names for that children many also!

Our younger sons name wasn't heard of much when we named him (he's 15) - now it's been in the top 3 baby names in Australia for the last 5 years or something.
Funny though, it's virtually unheard of in the U.S.

Best of luck choosing :)


Rikki said...


I like:

Girl: Willa (has been mentioned) and Harper (my daughter's name)

Boy: Sawyer and Witt (my son's name)

Have I mentioned I married an English teacher? :)

Amber said...

Oh, I love names!

So ours are Elliot, Brookelyn, Trae, and Archer. I also love Piper and Stella for girls and Sullivan, Hudson, and Cash for boys :)

Unknown said...

I recommend you consult Sarah Palin's book of baby names... not!

Robin said...

This baby deserves a name that says "I am here world" pay attention!


Named my daughter Kaleigh and when she went to Scotland we discovered the pronunciation means party. Yep, they all end up rightly named!

Anonymous said...

In all seriousness (because it might seem some people have been trying to name your baby in jest :-P) Here are names I love:

Julia, Olivia, Jude, Anna

Jacob, Ryan, Jonathan, Henry

I know, I'm neither funny nor creative today.

Irrational Dad said...

I don't care what you name him/her, just as long as it's either Joseph or Tiffany. Make it so.

People in the Sun said...

Actually, a couple of hours ago I went upstairs and told Honey I had a good idea for a name. She smiled. It might be the one. We'll sleep on it.

My only problem was that it's a little... you know... Christian.

Then again, my boy's name is Liam, which is kinda Irish, even though you're the only Irish part of my life.

Of course I can't say anything else yet. Just wanted to share the moment.

People in the Sun said...

Did I say "share the moment"? I meant "steal your thunder."

Geeks in Rome said...

I like Angie's suggestion Pilot Inspector. It would make for a great Monty Python skit.

So what was the name you and ET have tacitly "agreed" on??

p.s. make sure it's a name the Dutch won't mangle and pronounce all weird

Veronica Foale said...

I'm not even going to suggest a name. Not even one. Not if there will be mocking.

Re: the H1N1 vaccine, you've got to watch for falling off toenails. Surely with all the doomsday predictions, toenails would fall off too? Would save trying to cut them when she's heavily pregnant...

Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo said...

Awesome Fitz.

Has a nice ring to it.

And so you don't freak the hell out, babies don't have knuckles.

Martin said...

@Edith - What? no Jannekejete?

@Kori - I dont think Holy Shit is a good name for a child.

@Russ - Hmmmmm, probably not...

@babyattheend - I'm actually in favour of numbers 'baby 1', 'baby 2' etc

@Ms. Moon - but what's 'classic', classic today was trendy 60 years ago.

@Jenni - I love how you toss Axel in amongst the cast of an Oscar Wilde play...

@annieg - All very nice actually, but each are no-nos for various reasons ;-)

@Ed - 5 Zs.... was there an actual reason behind that?

@Jo Beaufoix - I'm not naming it after any family members....

@Putz - very one sided there putz...

@Buck - if we went with that, it would have to be along the lines of McHandShandy.

@Susanica - ah yes, we have to be careful not to toe tread here, I SERIOUSLY doubt it though...

@merinz - They are, er, distinctive.

@frogpondsrock - Kimmy, eternally 4 year of age.

@Mick - Adam and Eve? what, no Cane and Abel?

@Myst_72 - LuLu? that poor child.

@Rikki - Please tell me your son's middle name is Les????

@Amber - those all your children or the cast of 'all my children?'

@Ruth - Little baby Ticker!

@Robin - So we need a name that means 'drunken fumble'?

@showmeyourcookies - Pssst, I have a horrid feeling they are all serious.

@Joe @ IrrationalDad - Yes, just as soon as I fix that time machine to the 80s!

@People in the Sun - Christian? Georgina W. ?

@Geeks in Rome - you nearly tricked me there....

@Veronica - Booooo!

@Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo - Awesome Fitz Junior, you mean, surely.

Jo said...

All I can say is, we had our son's name picked long long before he wasborn and were worried it might not fit.

It did seem not to,and I was toying with Elliott, briefly, but then we had to bring him to hospital and they called him 'None _____' instead of 'Baby ____'

and that was it! We went with our first choice there and then. And it suits him perfectly now.

V said...

I'll add one of my all time favorite girl names to the mix- Zoe or Zoey if you prefer. Means "full of life". I couldn't use the name since I already had a cat named that, but that shouldn't stop you!

For boy names, I'll go with one that I've really liked for a few years now. Kai. Rhymes with "eye" and also rhymes with the German word "hai" which means shark. What more could you want????

The Sheila said...

Call him / her an Irish name with lots of long vowels in it, just to mess with the Dutch, so Naoise or Caoimhe or something like that!

Liz said...

Follow in the steps the celebrities? The Beckhams took the moment of conception as inspiration for the Brooklyn's name.

So why not Hospital for a boy or Catheter for a girl?

Paddy in BA (Quickroute) said...

name = Lotto
he was one in million ;-)

Martin said...

@Jo - we shall see if it still fits!

@Kathryn - Not a fan of Kai at all...

@The Sheila - Or a consonant filled Dutch name?

@womb for improvement - Baby Stirrups?

@Quickroute - in many billions actually, technically!

Ms. Moon said...

Nah. I'm talking the ancient names here: like, oh, Mary. David, John, Persephone. You know.

James (SeattleDad) said...

If he is a boy you could just call him Lord.

And for a girl - Chastity would make sense for the teenage years.

Martin said...

@Ms. Moon - Muhammaed? Tutankamun?

@James (SeattleDad) - Both on the 'maybe' list

Jane G said...

How sbout a nice non gender specific trendy gaelscoil name like Úchtar Reoite or Cabáiste?

Chelsea Lietz said...

I can take the ridicule...

Harper, Layla, Kerrigan
Carter, Blaine, Rylan

merinz said...

Hehe, am laughing at Kathryn's suggestion of Kai - you have to be so careful with foreign names. In Maori Kai means food!

Martin said...

@Jane G - Cabáiste... brilliant. The Dutch would love it.

@Chelsea Lietz - Those kids will grow up thick skinned anyway... ;-)

@merinz - And in Manchester it means 'son of God'.

I Am Emily... said...

We didn't know the gender of our baby so had to pick boys and girls names.

We picked a girls name straight away and both loved it, but argued about a boys name all the way to the delivery room. Luckily we had a girl!

I think girls names are easier to pick than boys. No suggestions here, I asked for suggestions too and every name that was suggested I frowned upon. Names just 'came' to me.

Chris Mancini said...

I will tie all of your posting threads into one comment: What about calling your kid H1N1? It works for a boy or a girl and you would totally make the news!

River said...

My favourite boy names are David and Joseph. Neither of my sons has these names. For girls I like Hannah and Olivia. My daughters are named something else entirely. Their father had the final say.

Martin said...

@Tanya - magic!

@Chris Mancini - how very Star Wars...

@River - As it should be!

Geri Atric said...

Don't mock. My 4 year old grandson is called Noah. His 4 year old girlfriend is Noa. Brightly referred to by one and all as Noah met een 'h' and Noa zonder 'h'....(groan)... and there are hundreds more of them throughout the Land. NoahNoaNoahNoaNoNoNo!!

B said...

Toby, no babbies called Toby any more... or is Toby short for something? Anthoby? Just one key away.

Martin said...

@Geri Atric - Noah I like, Noa, not so much!

@B - Its a rule we have not to name children after old family pets.