Wednesday 19 May 2010


I’m not the brightest.

Yes I come up with good ideas on rare occasions, but all in all I shouldn’t be allowed to do, or say, anything. Ever.

Approximately a year ago I was placed under the spell of a pied piper of podiatry punishment, and I agreed to walk across England with Dan and the rest of the children of Hamelin.

Aside from the fact it’s a rather odd idea to begin with, I have overlooked some of the more practical aspects of this endeavor.

First and foremost the fact that it will probably kill me.

84 miles across England, albeit the skinny bit, over the course of 6 days means walking about 15 miles each day. I can reasonably imagine myself walking even 20 on any given day, but I would be in need of bed rest and a bedpan for a fortnight.

Instead, after walking that on day one, I’ll have to get up and do it again on day two. And day three, day four, day five, and day six. I’m not a fit man, I really hadn’t thought this through.

As if to further illustrate my simplicity of mind, my preparation for this week of hill walking takes place here in Holland, also known as ‘the land of fuck all hills’. If you can prepare for hill walking while pushing a 12 week old in a pram, you’re doing something very wrong.

The nail in my impending coffin is said 12 week old. How can I be away from this for a whole week?

If you wish to show how sorry you feel for her, or me, or if you want to demonstrate how much you will enjoy following the details my excruciating physical pain, or if you just want to get behind the walkers in raising funds to help families who have lost children, you can do so here.

Regardless of how little or how much, every single donation is appreciated.

Neil and Rachael's story.
The official Joseph Salmon trust site.
The Hadrian’s Walk blog.
The Hadrian’s walkers donation site.
My personal donation site for the trust.


Kori said...

Oh, xbox, I don't know how you could leave that behind either; I love the suspicious look she has on her face, or is that simple smugness for how bowled over you are? Either way, it would be hard to miss even a day of it. Still, it is for such a great cause-watching your journey is going to be a kick in the pants, and for such a great REASON!

Ms. Moon said...

You are a good man, you. Maybe you could take the baby on your back? (Haha!)

Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] said...

You is crazy.

Kalei's Best Friend said...

from the look in her eye, i'd say she has plans....she will be fine- u on the other hand, i am sure the phone will be ringing at your house ( u being on the other end of that line)

Hockeymandad said...

Hydration my friend. Stay well hydrated or else the pain you feel each morning will be worse and worse. Good luck.

WhatAboutNovember said...

That's just over 4 hours of walking total. No sweat. ;)

I'm not sure how you can leave that little face either. Have you thought of bringing her along for the ride?

She's absolutely precious.

Unknown said...

Oh you aren't bringing her with you???
You could always get one of those extreme off road buggies they have up here!
Soft shite.

Irish Mammy said...

Did you ever hear of slings my dear man, just bring her with you. She is gorgeous xx

Valery said...

Compeed blister patches.

Veronica Foale said...

You *are* going to take photos of your suffering while you walk, aren't you? Good.

Good luck!

James (SeattleDad) said...

Lukas is nearly 3 and I still can't leave him for business trips. I have cancelled them.

At least this is for a good cause. Good luck man.

Jo said...

Yup. And you know she'll seem ready for school by the time you get home...

Tara R. said...

Good luck with the walk and the lack of baby snuggles for the week.

Russ said...

Well, they have some pretty nifty backpacks with baby holders attached to them over here. They would work for you, assuming you don't mind being spit up on mid walk.

The Wife still isn't keen on leaving the kids for business trips.

Fifteen miles a day? I'm not sure I walk that in a week.

WhatAboutNovember said...

I meant 4 hours a day. I'm not a complete idiot. I just play the part sometimes. :)

Lisamaree said...

God, she is just beautiful xx

Blues said...

Oh come on, don't be lazy. If my fat ass can hike Grand Canyon, you can do it.

Liz said...

She's gorgeous. Will she meet you at the finish line?

Geri Atric said...

I'm a bit confused (sorry, another senior moment no doubt) but are you talking about the Dutch Nijmeganse 4 dagse loop (walk)?
If you are, your baby daughter can meet you with flowers at the finish...
You're not though, are you(?). Oh dear, think I'll go back to my nap...

Martin said...

@Kori - we shall see!

@Ms. Moon - it was briefly contemplated

@Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] - nothing new there

@Chrissy - very very probably

@Hockeymandad - beer in other words?

@WhatAboutNovember - thought of, yes. But no, not an option really.

@Irritatingly Optimistic - shut it

@Irish Mammy - they are great for a walk around the zoo for an afternoon, a week in the hills, not so much.

@Valery - Noted!

@Veronica - The camera might be an unnesessary luxury in terms of weight though.

@James (SeattleDad) - that's what I'm telling myself.

@Jo - that's a whole other trauma we've had today!

@Tara R. - uuugh.

@Russ - a day, everyday...agggh.

@Hammie - heh, kind of :-)

@Blues - behave!

@womb for improvement - nah, I think ity's straight back home for me afterwards.

@Geri Atric - hahah no, not the vier daagse!
It's a fundraising walk for the Joseph Salmon trust which helps families who have lost children.

I probably explain it best here