Friday, 14 May 2010

Runaway train

They were right of course, the smug bastards.

It will go by so fast’.

It does. It has. 40 plus weeks of pregnancy have come and gone in a ridiculous flash, Mango is here and about to turn 12 weeks old.

Twelve bloody weeks old, in no time at all we’ve gone from measuring her existence in minutes, hours, or even days, to dozens of weeks. Months.

She still stares exactly as she did that very first time, that kind of unwavering, uncompromising stare that actors try to perfect in order to be dubbed 'the new Pacino'. For the rest, she’s constantly changing, evolving.

What strikes me most is her independence. That may sound ridiculous of someone who needs changing and feeding, but it’s her spark that’s independent, her spirit.

As long as someone is there to tend to her, she’s fine, she’s happy. She doesn’t need us, yet we couldn’t live without her, and my adult brain can’t quite get itself around that infant inspired realisation.

It comes down to this, she doesn’t know or care about what it took to get her here, she owes us nothing, and neither should she. The weight of what went before is for us to carry, not her.

At 12 weeks old she has probably already needed us as much as she ever will as a child. Depressingly, but rightly, as it should be.

It goes by so fast.

Smug bastards.


Unknown said...

Smiling as smugly as a smug thing.

Jenni said...

The midwife who delivered Oscar told me,"The nights are long, but the years are short." So true. Oscar's going to be three in a month. I'm a bit baffled as to how that happened.

Ed said...

Oh, trust me. She's not done needing you. It just gets more complicated.

Veronica Foale said...

Teensy bit smug, yes. Because it does, it flies by so fast. Amy turns 4 in September and it's only 10 months until she starts school. Flown.

Ms. Moon said...

And that's why you pay attention.

Anonymous said...

Know what you mean! My eldest turned 6 yesterday (13.05.2010) and im amazed at where the time went. Enjoy your little Sanne while you can cause before you know it she will be a beautiful independent young lady who will go her own way! YOLANDE, SOUTH AFRICA

Hockeymandad said...

It only goes so fast because of the love you have for every second. It's fantastic.

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you might miss it." -- Ferris Beuller

Rebecca said...

You know what 'they' say. The days are long but the years are short. Live it up......because they just don't stay little for long, do they?!

geeks in rome said...

the new Pacino! You are so brilliant:)

Lord, how it flies. And she may seem snuggly smug, but underneath she is thrilled to bits to see your loving faces. MORE PICTURES of Mango, pleeze!!! she is soooo cute!

Jo said...

Of course she needs you. There's a lot more to a baby's life then physical comforts.

I'm sure most won't agree but I still think babies choose who and when the come to. What it took to get her here is part of her and who she'll always be.

Mwa said...

Just wait until she's two and insists she can dress herself, get her own food and doesn't need a story.

merinz said...

Its our job as parents to do ourselves out of the raise independent souls who can live and function without us!
I look at the faces of my now 38, 36, 32, and 30 year old children, some with their own children and think that we didn't do such a bad job with them.
But sometimes it hurts that they don't need us as they once did.

suzannanana said...

If only all parents realized those children of ours owe us nothing..the world would be a much better place, cheers to you Martin for "getting it" so early!

River said...

I know what you mean. It seems like only a couple of weeks since my daughter was born. Now my GRAND DAUGHTER is 16 already.

Anonymous said...

Agreed. Everyone says it and it's true. Emily will be one in a few weeks! My advice is to take photos and videos if you can. I've been taking videos every few weeks and it's fantastic to sit and watch them and watch how she used to be!

I'm glad the little lady has personality :-)


Jill said...

My little guy just turned 1 yesterday. Time just flashed by.

I'm amazed...

Anonymous said...

I'll echo Ed, because he said it first, and best . . .

Kalei's Best Friend said...

I think there are some adults who still have that

Barbara said...

There will be many more infant inspired realisations over the next few months.

I don't think I've got reason to be smug, I don't think I ever preached to you about making the most of it as it goes so quickly (but if I did, sorry).

Steve said...

Slips through your fingers faster than moon-sand onto the carpet.

But you'll feel useful a while yet.

(Smug mode to off.)

Geri Atric said...

Oh no Mango's dad, make no mistake about it, your daughter already thorougly knows and trusts and appreciates you and her mum completely! She can already distinguish between yourselves and others in the way you and they make her feel. Your voices, faces, smell and touch; i.e. the unique ways in which you and her mum pick her up, talk to her, cuddle, feed and tend her, is associated with good, safe and happy feelings... (watch her kick with excitement and grin when she sees you peeking at her - unless of course she's hungry and then it's every parent for themselves). Whereas other folk, although good intentioned with their smiles and 'goo-goo' talk and nice but different feeling cuddles, are only an interesting diversion for the little lass. She already knows that you and her Mum are the folk that really matter to her!!!!!
That's baby love daddyo - and it will grow more every day.
Until she reaches puberty of course - and then, well - may the Force be with you...*gulp*......

AnnD said...

You speak the truth, my friend.

tiff(threeringcircus) said...

It flies. Blink and they're teenagers.

A Free Man said...

This has nothing to do with anything except that I thought you might find this:

amusing and/or informative. I wonder what category 'Mango' goes into, 'allochtone'? 'Elitenamenprofiel'?

Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo said...

dude, my kid is an ADULT and moving out of home.

Goes so fast...

Shut the hell up.

Monty said...

For the record, there can never ever be a "New Pacino".

C said...

Cherish each moment!!! am already missing those early months...Danny is 8 months old!!! Where did the time fly?

areyoukiddingme said...

Silly you...right now, her toes are endlessly amusing, but in 6 months, you will be required to act foolishly for her entertainment. Then she will need you to read her stories. You will hear "Play with me, Daddy" as if on an endless loop. This is just a little preview of what it will be like when she's a teenager, but without the attitude! (The attitude starts growing in around age 3.) But please, enjoy every minute, because it is a runaway train.

Martin said...

@Irritatingly Optimistic - behave

@Jenni - thats a good saying, like it

@Ed - heh, interesting way to look at it

@Veronica - she's 25% on her way to moving out ;-P

@Ms. Moon - hmmmmm

@Yolande - I will do!

@Hockeymandad - Dunno about the merits of Matthew Broderick quotes though

@Rebecca - very true

@geeks in rome - look up :-)

@Jo - I mean that it's peaked, from here it slowly fades.

@Mwa - heheh, ouch.

@merinz - aaaaaaaagh!

@suzannanana - one broken link in that chain and the idea is worthless though

@River - wow, that's something

@livingrightnow - I think the thousands I have cover it ;-)

@Jill - already? woah

@tysdaddy - yes, I like that one

@Chrissy - that's for sure

@Barbara - hahah, no worries

@Steve - hopefully!

@Geri Atric - you are spot on with that peeking thing! spot on.

@AnnD - But of course!

@tiff(threeringcircus) - oh my head...

@A Free Man - Hmmmm, it's neither really, more of a modern one as far as they are concerned here. Nice find that!

@Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo - I'd say she ran...

@Monty - well, duh

@Chhandita - whooooooooooosh

@areyoukiddingme - too true, too true

Blues said...

That's why I don't give up because I know the day will come when ours finally comes too and it will all be worth the bullshit waiting. It seems a hella ways off though.

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