Thursday 3 June 2010

Maybe she should learn a trade

Some people wake to trash metal stations, some to the dawn chorus, and some to the sound of rubbish bins being thrown around outside their window.

We wake to singing, in the most subjective and optimistic sense of the word.

She wakes slowly, first feasting on a breakfast in bed of fists and fingers, mumbling and babbling to herself along the way. This babbling leads her to remember she has real vocal chords and the screeching starts.

She must surely swallow all her consonants during the warm up, because by the time she’s in full flight there’s nothing to hear except for a string of vowels, randomly strung together and impossibly pronounced in the form of long screeching warbles reaching volumes that render the baby monitor redundant.

Sneaking a peek around the door at this performance I challenge anyone not to laugh. Lying there with a head of hair like a Liz Taylor wig, her sleep-suit spread around her like a 1980s wedding dress, and a face full of concentration. Her eyes rolling and tongue flapping around her chicken-like gums, arms extended straight and stiff with fists clenched while she belts out one never ending deafening note after another.

By the time she is working up a crescendo all that’s missing is strobe lighting, a key change, and a wind machine.

Les Pay-Bas, nul points.


Sinead said...

I love the babbling-when-just-awake stage. At nine months I know wake up to banging on the side of the cot and when I go in he is standing up with a huge grin on his face smacking the side of the cot and with a pile of nappies strewn around him. Apparently the changing table is within reach.

Still can't get over the amount of hair she has!

Veronica Foale said...


Much nicer to wake up to than crying.

River said...

Impressive. You've produced a junior opera singer.

Myst_72 said...

Hope you are recording her!

I found a 'cassette' a few years ago of a recording I made of my eldest when he was 6 months old (he's 19 now, it was all about cassettes back then!).
So cute :)
Don't think we have a device to play it on now though.


Tara R. said...

It has been glorious reading your perspective as a new dad. The 'happy' literally jumps off the page.

Ed said...

Certainly beats any alternative! It's pretty sweet music, huh?

Kori said...

You should record it for us to hear, too.

Ms. Moon said...

My grandson does the same. He sings these long, happy notes and even holds his hand out as if he is being dramatic in front of a crowd. He cracks me up. Singing babies- aren't we lucky?

Russ said...

Certain things I miss about newborns. That is one of them.

Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] said...

Best sounds ever.


AnnB said...

Boy wonder's early vowel vocals have morphed into quite an impressive repertoire of rock and pop - we now get woken up by medleys from his favourite movie soundtracks it's a great way to start the day!

AnnD said...

God I love baby babble.

Rebecca said...

Where is the video? We are a visual group, we bloggers.....we want to see the video of this performance in which you speak!

Putz said...

my girl used to wake up by reciting the words from the star spangled banner and then quote the getty's burg address before she became fully awake>>>but hey we sired a genius>>.so what hte hey

Unknown said...

Chicken lips???????

Do chickens even have lips??

Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo said...

Dude, I wake up to the dulcet tones of Vanilla Ice.

"ice ice baby" at full volume at 1am.

I stumble into his room and he is all 'whaaaaaat?'

Enjoy it while it lasts, buddy.

Jo said...

That's lovely! You've such a happy girl :)

Bonnie B. said...

This brought back memories of when our eldest (19 now, yipes) would do the exact same thing. We would just lay there in bed and laugh at the sounds she made!! My husband forever regrets not getting it on tape. Do it. Do it now!

(and did you ever imagine you could be this amused by a baby?)

areyoukiddingme said...

Oh yes, you must record this!

Barbara said...

Ah yes, the singing. Wait until she starts bellowing her breadfast order at you - it won't be long!

Irish Mammy said...

What about the breakfast goodie bag (ie nappy?) the singing on hangover head is really helpful, you just wait x

Martin said...

@Sinead - funny, AND it's still growing, not fallen out.

@Veronica - that times 50, over and over.

@River - Susan Boyle!

@Myst_72 - hahaha sweet

@Tara R. - awww, maybe it does!

@Ed - pure class.

@Kori - it's all want want want with you people...

@Ms. Moon - massively

@Russ - she's no newborn though!, almost 16 weeks!

@Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] - maybe I have!

@AnnB - yep, makes all the crap that follows it easier to put up with

@AnnD - :-)

@Rebecca - heh, behave.

@Putz - hahaha

@Irritatingly Optimistic - do frogs?

@Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo - hey, you married him...

@Jo - long may it last

@Bonnie B. - No, but it beats tv!

@areyoukiddingme - maybe!

@Barbara - I blame the parents...

@Irish Mammy - hahaha, lovely...!