By Saturday it had become just too much to handle.
Sitting, standing, scratching, pacing, waiting for Monday.
The red menace hadn't sailed into port, and the temperatures were still high. By the end of the afternoon, we finally caved in and picked up what I can only call an extortionately priced pack of pregnancy tests.
Clearblue are a shower of opportunist bastards.
Maybe the act of buying the tests served to sooth the anxiety a little, and they were put away, unused.
Come Sunday morning, my wake-her-up-so-she-can-take-her-temperature alarm woke me up at 7am. Following a gentle and loving poke to the temple, she reached over, grabbed the thermometer, and shoved it in her gob.
I'm sure she was still asleep when it beeped to indicate it was ready.
High. Still high on day 28 had never happened before.
She trotted out of the room and up the stairs to the bathroom. Still lying where I woke, I listened to the familiar house sounds. Floorboards, door handles, a flush, silence.
It could have been 5 seconds, it could have been a day and a half, I don't know, but at some point the familiar sounds changed to the unfamiliar sound of her thundering down the stairs. How she didn't fall and break her face is beyond me.
I don't know what was said, but the test was shoved in my face. Being blind as a bat and not long awake, there was no way I could read the tiny word in the test window. You would think these people know that the tests are most likely to be peered at with sleep filled eyeballs.
Clearblue are a shower of cruel bastards.
A dozen blinks later, there I was, flat on my back, which I must admit is not the optimal position for reacting to life-altering news, staring at the word 'zwanger'.
Another test later that evening said the same.
Clearblue are the best company on the planet.
We floated into Monday, floated over the tiny matter of a heart stopping negative test result using a cheap internet bought stick, and went into orbit once the hospital rang with the results of the blood test.
A very healthy 13dpo hCG score of 129.
Today they tested again and it came back at 400. Perfect. This is really going to happen.
It's been almost 6 days of grinning like a demented loon, being caught smiling to myself, and generally living in a Disney-like fuzziness where all the light bulbs have a higher wattage and nothing is unfixable.
What a difference a week can make.