Tuesday, 9 February 2010

Soon

This thing takes an age to boil.

I sit at the table and lift my exposed legs and bare feet an inch or two up off the cool kitchen floor. Through the glass to my left the sky displays schizophrenic tendencies, clear, sharp and deathly still behind dark laden patches of cloud, in a hurry to somewhere else.

The creaks above my head tell me your mother is stirring. Your restlessness initiating hers for what feels like the thousandth night in succession. Falling in and out of half sleeps, dreaming faceless half dreams of catching, falling, and reaching.

On the other side of the street, few lights burn bright. They’re the evidence of absence of rest, telling tales about a long day not yet at an end, or perhaps one prematurely begun. Some night soon, while we wait for rest to come to you, I will point out those lights and I will tell you their tales.

The impatient clouds unwittingly animate the floor. Midnight blue shadow projections converge and diverge in perpetual motion and silence. Tilting my head, I see rabbits there, but then again in my weary adult mind I always do. Some night soon, we will sit here together, and you can point out the lions and tigers that you see, you can tell me their tales.

Maybe then I will be able to see them too.

Hundreds, even thousands of miles away, others are sitting in their own late night kitchens, waiting for their own kettles to boil. I imagine aunts and uncles, cousins and grandparents, and friends you couldn’t even begin to count have all sat a while, staring into blue gas flames. They are briefly reminded of you, and by the light of open fridge doors they wonder if it is almost time.

The idea of your arrival being impatiently awaited on distant shores makes me smile, a concept sickeningly over-poetic in terminology, yet still incompetently insufficient.

Against the sound of more unrest from above, I myself wonder if it is almost time, I rise and return the unused mug to its place on the shelf.

I turn the dial, vanishing the blue flame. It takes an age to boil.

Heavy with sleep now, I can wait. Until tomorrow.


67 comments:

Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] said...

CRAP, you've got a way with words.

I'm one of those an ocean away awaiting the arrival, even if you're gonna wait 4 days to tell me.

Tara R. said...

There are whole continents of people awaiting this birth.

WeaselMomma said...

Wow. You are diverse in your abilities of writing. I hope that your sweetest dreams come true very soon.

Barbara said...

Beautiful post.

He or she is awaited impatiently by a LOT of people. I hope s/he realises that and doesn't decided to stretch it out for another couple of weeks after the due date.

Jenni said...

Ha ha, now I see re: my last comment :)

A lovely post, and you are right; he or she will be with you so, so impossibly soon.

Edith said...

goose bumps!

:)

Kori said...

Ah, the real XBox comes out of hiding. Beautifully done, my friend.

Catherine said...

Oh I got a bit emotional there, amazing post.

Am totally tenterhookingly looking forward to the bub's arrival, though not on the same scale as you are!!

Ms. Moon said...

Yes. That was something fine.
We're all waiting.

suzannanana said...

An entire world in waiting with you. Soon, very soon. Beautiful post. Now, get some sleep, you are going to need it!

Jane G said...

That made me cry.

You bastard.

:)

Mwa said...

Your impending daddyhood made you go all poetic. Aaah.

GoaldeeBug said...

Dammit, there's something in my eye! *sniffle*

Lil said...

Lovely post and all that but I have to say GAH!!!! Every time I see a new post on your blog in my reader I think "did they have the baby yet?!?!?" Nothing to compare to your waiting but there are lots of complete strangers out here anxiously waiting with you. :-D Haven't commented before but have been reading for several months now (found you via AAYSR).

Regina said...

Ah jebus Xbox, you made me cry. Can't wait to hear about your good news.

Susanica said...

Yup, everyone is waiting. I find myself wondering if when the child finally comes you will dash off a short e-mail along the lines of "Baby here. All is well. Dot.Dot.Dot" or if you've already composed something in your draft box that is "sickeningly over-poetic in terminology". Naw...I'm going to guess you'll write something spontaneously. Can't wait to read it! -M

Bonnie B. said...

Crap on a cracker!! That right there? Was incredible.

And yes, we think of you and ET and Lil Fitz all the time. And every time I try to explain it to my husband, he looks at me uncomprehendingly.

merinz said...

Holding our breath here too way down at the bottom of the world!
I am even checking your blog several times a day.
Best wishes for a speedy delivery.

Rebecca said...

I too can't wait till the little peanut is born. The birth of a baby is always an amazing thing!

AnnD said...

Yes, people all over the world are awaiting their first glimpes of Lil' Fitz. When my computer died, I was so worried she/he would be born and I wouldn't be able to see it and comment right away!

AnnB said...

Waiting is an art form you have perfected. Enjoy your last few days together as a couple. Soon you'll look back on these days with wide-eyed wonder trying to figure out how you ever thought you were busy all the time, when you only had yourselves to look after. The stillness of those night silences will be broken in the most beguiling way, and sleep deprivation will take on a whole new meaning. You will love every minute of it.
Wishing you both a brief and beautiful wait.

Christa said...

You sappy fuck.

It's a boy. I know it.

tiff(threeringcircus) said...

Oh my goodness.

You never cease to amaze me.

Horse Chick said...

X,
I'm one of many you've made cry today, thanks for sharing such beautifully touching "Daddy" thoughts with us all.
and Lil Fitz, your Daddy is one sappy guy and you're such a lucky baby!!

Anonymous said...

You know they have electric kettles now, right?

Veronica said...

By my guess, you've got another week to wait yet. Otherwise I lose.

Soon.

Anonymous said...

Excellent post! Enjoy these last few days of alone time and sleep, youll need it. I'm from South Africa and cant wait for the news that your baba has been born. Not too long now! YOLANDE

naughty said...

Wishing you both all the best of everything over the next couple of weeks and well beyond. Have been reading forever but not posting much. Hope it all goes brilliantly for you both (three!) xx

Geeks in Rome said...

brilliantly beautiful.
you make Frank McCourt look like a bleedin' amateur.

Thanatos said...

That's one lucky kid.

Marylin said...

You just made me cry... git. That is one lucky lil babby you've got there! I'm sooo happy for you and ET. xx

Anonymous said...

For all the lurkers, which I am one, I too check in more than once each day and each new post is never a disapointment. Especially loved this last one, so touching.

WhatAboutNovember said...

I got goosebumps when you said, "your mother".

And you're right. I wonder about you guys all the time. Please tell me you'll post some sort of, "labor's started" little post. :)

And may I say again, thank you for sharing this journey with us.

frogpondsrock said...

Soon, my friend. Soon.

River said...

Beautiful post Xbox. Such sweet words.

Hilary (Maya Papaya) said...

Wow. Lovely.

I am so very excited for you and ET.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] - Kiss arse.

@Tara R. - I want my frankensense...

@WeaselMomma - Soon indeed.

@Barbara - out of our hands really

@Jenni - indeed, indeed.

@Edith - Kippenvel!

@Kori - watch your mouth, you...

@Catherine - heheh, hormones... ;-)

@Ms. Moon - no choice really!

@suzannanana - sleep is already in short supply

@Jane G - ah shit. sorry.

@Mwa - bite me ;-)

@GoaldeeBug - you wanna go see someone about that

@Lil - aw thanks, and welcome.

@Regina - that's my goal on any given day, make someone blub.

@Susanica - Oh you cynic...!

@Bonnie B. - hehe, poor man. I love your prime time TV swearing though.

@merinz - Thanks!

@Rebecca - and disgusting ;-P

@AnnD - that would have been amusing.

@AnnB - Thank you ;-)

@Christa - put your money where your filthy mouth is...

@tiff(threeringcircus) - my fly open?

@Horse Chick - hehehe....

@Anonymous - not in this house

@Veronica - I hope you lose.

@Yolande - thank you :-)

@naughty - Thank you, I appreciate that.

@Geeks in Rome - oh you'll get in trouble for saying things like that.
I loved him actually. A great story teller.

@Thanatos - I might carry it's foot around on a keyring...

@Marylin - hehe...result!

@Anonymous - Thank you.

@WhatAboutNovember - I can't see that happening to be honest!

@frogpondsrock - GAH...

@River - Yes, 'fridge door' especially...

@Hilary (Maya Papaya) - eeeeeek ;-)

livingrightnow said...

Just amazing.

You both deserve the very best.

You have written a beautiful account of the trials and tribulations of falling pregnant, pregnancy from a male point of view and soon to be fatherhood.

-Tanya

urbanvox said...

Alec made us wait till the 40th week... evil cruel child! LOL!

Russ said...

A watched pot never boils.

WhatAboutNovember said...

Oh come now. It'd only take a second. ;)

Jo said...

Ah, lovely. But please, just be aware, there could be an extra two weeks in this wait!

Dre said...

Waiting in Michigan under tons of snow... my husband thinks I am a complete freak to be emotionally invested in absolute strangers on the internet. But here I am. Best wishes...

Middle Aged Woman said...

Michigan people are massing in wait, apparently. Good luck to all.

Sue said...

Here's one from Northwestern Pennsylvania who is just oh-so-happy that your dreams are about to come true!!! :-)

Alexicographer said...

Beautiful.

You know what they say about watched pots.

Mick said...

Looking forward to meeting her over here too...

Come on lass, get a move on!!

Putz said...

as has been said, you crappy fuck, i know it is a boy, not the most eliquent, but true....now the only thing to determined is the hour witching hour at midnight, date, right on due dated to the day, and weight, i have said two, but will stick to the one that doesn't remind me of a sack of potatoes and say the eight pounds, now all you have to do is congradulate me kiss me on the top of my head and we can dance the dance of joy unless et will do it with me if she is able

Bethany said...

loved this.
boiling water.
perfect.
poetic.
true.
Good luck!

steph said...

Thanks for the reminder of all those sleepless nights. Mind you, you make it sound like fun.

Back in the Dark Ages, we didn't even have early morning telly to while away those twilight hours 'on duty'.

Soon, and counting...

Hyphen Mama said...

I never ever EVER didn't like the nights and the feedings and the snuggles and the humming and the smell of the babies in the wee hours. 2 babies. Years of my life spent with nary more than a few hours of sleep stolen here and there... worth every single minute.

You're going to be the best dad, with your stories and your isms.

Crossing fingers that the birth goes quickly and painlessly for ET. And you.

Anonymous said...

The worstest thing is when someone due after you calls to say they have had theirs early - you will want to rive their faces off!

Baby will come when baby wants and being part of you I suspect it will be a tad mischievious and be late - just for a laugh!

Gailx

Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo said...

ahh, got the ghost writer on staff already I see. Worth every cent.

Buy a freaking electric kettle for Gods sake. Two minutes, tops.

Ru said...

Beautiful writing, and I love the idea that your baby is eagerly awaited by so many people that none of you will ever meet, or could pass in the street and not know!

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@livingrightnow - thank you.

@urbanvox - I prefer 'rogueish'!

@Russ - ah, you saw through my ploy!

@WhatAboutNovember - heh...

@Jo - You've mentioned that before. Half a dozen times.
Is there a Santa Claus?

@Dre - hahah, just stay out of our flower beds

@Middle Aged Woman - 'massing', all two of you ;-)

@Sue - thanks!

@Alexicographer - they don't get shoplifted?

@Mick - IT won't be hurried I imagine...

@Putz - hahaha. Legend Putz, legend.

@Bethany - Thanks!

@steph - I forsee lots of useless stuff being bought on QVC and so!

@Hyphen Mama - Thank you.

@Gail - I'm almost expecting that now

@Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo - I'll take that as a compliment

@Ru - heh, hadn't thought of that!

Horse Chick said...

xbox,
I think there's at least 3 or 4 of us from Michigan. That counts as a MASS!

areyoukiddingme said...

That was beautiful.

But, for God's sake, sleep now, while you've got the chance!

Also anxiously awaiting...

AnnD said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kim said...

I hopethe reason you haven't posted in a few days because the two of you are finally getting some good sleep.

Iota said...

We're all waiting with you...

Lori said...

News??? Anxious in Texas..

Geri Atric said...

Yikes - that was poetic! I fear for you if this child is - dare I say it.... overdue.

Amanda Bowden said...

Checking often to see who will pop first ;) 6 days left for me - 5 for you!

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Horse Chick - ah yes, 4 is a mass. 2 is a posse.

@areyoukiddingme - can only try!

@Kim - That and the, er, job.

@Iota - You've no bloody choice!

@Lori - ' Anxious in Texas ' - I remember your personal ad! 'Antsy in Holland'

@Geri Atric - I fear for myself too, trust me!

@Amanda Bowden - My money's on YOU...

Arizaphale said...

I was 2 weeks overdue! :-( Hope your babe makes his/her appearance closer to the 'due by' date!
Love dropping by and following you on your amazing journey.
Beautiful writing too.

Blues said...

What a gift, Xbox. I mean you're writing, and also these words for your kid.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Arizaphale - Thank you.

@Blues - 'fridge door' poetic eh?