Monday, 8 February 2010

Step away from the vehicle

With hindsight, not keeping it in the boot of the car is quite a wise move.

I can only imagine the bewildered looks and cautious questioning I would be on the receiving end of should it be exposed.

It wouldn’t take much more than a fender bender or a heavy accelerator foot for a member of my host Queen’s police force to be rummaging through the contents of my boot.

I envisage holster clips being released and faces turning solemn as the bag is opened and its contents removed, item by item.

Baby clothes. Several pairs of underwear. Pajamas. A bag of sucky sweets. A prepaid mobile phone. Not to mention the digital camera.

The absence of a roll of duct tape is all that would save me from spending my child’s first hours in police custody whilst they verified that it isn’t actually a kiddie fiddler’s starter kit, but is in fact nothing more sinister than the famed hospital bag.

Packed and ready to go, like my sanity.

1 week, 2 days.


28 comments:

Horse Chick said...

I think we're all packed and ready to go....I swear I check your blog at least once a hour...OK, I know I need to get a LIFE!!!
Still thinking Happy (painfree) thoughts for ET and You.

Amanda Bowden said...

I am due the day after you - but my bag is inside, packed ready and waiting. Watch me regret that and be in the car when my little one decides to put in an appearance and we will have to make a trip home to collect it :)

Good luck.

Hockeymandad said...

If your sanity fits in a bag, you better go buy some more. Good luck!

Bonnie B. said...

Good News: 1 week, 2 days!!

Bad News: Your sanity will not return for quite some time. Get used to it now, Dad.

Barbara said...

Your sanity is packed and ready to go? I hate to disillusion you but I think that's already left.

Ms. Moon said...

Well, I'm excited.

Susanica said...

Testing your patience already eh? I now know what a blessing it was that both our boys came 2 weeks early. I think today would really be a very good birthday for little Fitz. Don't you? -M

Kori said...

YES. Finally you are somewhat ready. Yay!

Mwa said...

Exciting!!! Oooh, me and the internet can't wait any more either.

Marissa said...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm so excited!!!!!!

That's 9 days!!!!

Which actually means it could be 9 hours!! Or 9 MINUTES!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm so excited!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I'm thinking a curry, glass of whine and a gane of Monopoly!!!

Worked a treat for me!

Gail

Veronica said...

You mean that your sanity is all nicely packaged up? Shit, I wish mine were.

steph said...

I'm sticking with Feb 18th!

Betcha!

Tara R. said...

Almost there! Time for the sprint home, if the bag is packed, it could be any time now.

Keith Wilcox said...

You said "kiddie fiddler"! HA. Excuse me for that; I've never heard that term before, and I find it much more descriptive that pedophile. :-) Anyway, I'm sure they (probably) let you go after a background check :-)

Sadia said...

Hooray for The Bag!

My dear darling husband had to pack mine, since I had made the list, but not packed, when the kiddies showed up. He meant well, dear thing, and brought what he thought were comfy clothes for me to go home in. Drawstring pants, and not the maternity kind. Over a C-section wound. The most painful car ride of my life (not counting the ambulance ride to the NICU-equipped hospital during labour).

(Regarding the countdown, you do know that only 5% of full-termers are born on the due date, right?)

James (SeattleDad) said...

Being prepared is always a positive thing. Looking forward to hearing the good news.

livingrightnow said...

KEEP IT IN THE CAR!

I had to leave a party to head to the hospital when I went into labour and was so glad that everything was packed!

Parenthood here you come!!!

-Tanya

livingrightnow said...

p.s being a suspected 'kiddie fiddler' couldn't be as bad as me waiting in the labour room for my partner as he had been caught for drink driving when he drove me to hospital!

He showed them my hospital bag packed in the car and they let him go, but not the car. the car was impounded until baby Emily was born!


-Tanya

River said...

You have the suitcase in the car already? Good planning. I always just left mine close to the front door ready to grab on the way out when needed. You are so much more sensible than me. 1 week and 2 days huh? Do you find that these last few days are flying by for you, while for ET time seems to be standing still?

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Horse Chick - hahahahaha....

@Amanda Bowden - nah, it'll be fine

@Hockeymandad - a big bag though

@Bonnie B. - it's long departed in fairness

@Barbara - meh

@Ms. Moon - I can tell ;-P

@Susanica - Not gonna happen. . .

@Kori - that was very cheery...

@Mwa - tell that to fatty mango

@Marissa - or 3 weeks...

@Gail - and a couple of pints?

@Veronica - you can buy disposable sanity these days

@steph - confident. . .

@Tara R. - we'll see...

@Keith Wilcox - Irish 'Catholic'... I can give a dozen more terms for it!

@Sadia - well I could count down to Christmas!

@James (SeattleDad) - You are so sick of all this, I can tell ;-)

@livingrightnow - I presume you were 2 months early or something, otherwise you need your arses kicked.

@River - not flying for ANYONE!

Sinead said...

I think I was still packing my bag whilst I was in labor! I mean, I still needed my straighteners and hair dryer before I went to the hospital:)

You are going to have to start posting daily so we know when it is all happening.

Jo said...

Your mind is scary...

livingrightnow said...

Actually we were 6 days overdue...first time he had drank anything at all in a month.

I keep checking back here, it could happen anytime now...

-Tanya

Rikki said...

So exciting! You guys are going to do great! :D

areyoukiddingme said...

Wait - I'm confused (constant state of affairs, but whatever) - I thought you had just hiked up the bed so you could have this baby at home. Now you've got a bag packed for the hospital. Are you just preparing for all possible eventualities?

9 days +/-

Good luck...


(Also, here in the US, they give you charming and fashionable disposable underwear...necessary to fit the gigantic pad needed to soak up...well, never mind. You'll find out.)

Jenni said...

good lord, just have that baby already, will you?

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Jo - try being on this side of it...

@livingrightnow - hahaha, ok, fair enough!

@Rikki - ...or not ;-)

@areyoukiddingme - Its a hospital birth. The raised bed is for the nurse than will attend to baby & mother when they come home.

@Jenni - who you telling!