Tuesday, 2 February 2010

Turning you off your cereal

I'm impotent. Or maybe omnipotent. Or omnipresent perhaps, I forget.

Some one of those anyway, but basically I'm in many places today. Here, and somewhere deep in the bowels of today's Irish Times health section.

Early last year they featured an article about our attempts to conceive, and today they ran a short catch-up piece for the sane people with jobs who don’t read here every day.

Complete with picture that makes me look like an anaemic wino with a glandular problem, and a title that will nauseate many, today's article can be found here.

For the lazy among us, the original feature was run last March and a follow up based on the reaction it generated ran a few days later.

As you were.

Far more entertaining are the guesses being placed here. Go on, give it a shot.

39 comments:

Edith said...

Love it!

Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo said...

more like an imp. With a fat head.

steph said...

Good one!

2 weeks, 1 day... and counting!

Jo said...

Omg, Kelley!

Brilliant, Xbox, brilliant! It's a big word count! That was fast this time round, eh?

womb for improvement said...

Nice one.

(Actually found the article because it was quoted in full on another blog I read - you really do get everywhere).

Erin said...

Yeah! that was a great article! The crazy world of child care is about to start (on the outside of the belly that is!!!) 2 weeks and 1 day for you, 3 weeks on the head for me!
Oh boy! can't wait. I am excited to read your updates on the little one since ours will be so close to the same age!
good luck from Wisonsin!

Ed said...

You should warn people not to enlarge the picture. I did and a woman at the library shrieked. I'm just saying...

Jenni said...

Great article; the last bit brought me to tears. Have I told you how deliriously happy I am for the two of you? Well, I'm saying it again.

xo

Valery said...

baby stores and "out ... before someone realises you don’t really belong."
That feeling, that hurt, please tell me it fades?

Jill said...

being the sap i am, i got totally teary reading this. i remember 'meeting' you almost 20 months ago when both of us were going through hell of infertility. to follow you through your path, re-reading all that you and e.t went through to get here brings such memories. here's wishing you all the joy your newest munchkin will bring.

enjoy every last moment. your life will forever be changed the minute she pushes your baby (and her brain) out of her nether regions!

Hockeymandad said...

Wonder if you'll get another follow up when your knee deep in nappy rash and baby shit.

I see the picture and it makes me think...Happy Groundhog's Day!

Nice article....and good luck in the coming days.

James (SeattleDad) said...

Great article. Of course, the whole getting back to normal thing...bwaaahaaa. It's about time to redefine normal. :)

Ms. Moon said...

Lovely. Perfect.

Sadia said...

Lovely. And yes, you're right. It is just the beginning.

This morning, arguing with my daughter about whether one can put trousers on if one has already put shoes on, I wondered out loud to my husband why we chose to do this. He just looked at me. And I remembered.

And then, once she was well done whining, I gave my daughter a hug and a kiss. And told her to take her shoes off and put her trousers on.

Christa said...

It's a great pic you asshat!

Poppy said...

I loved reading all 3 articles. I managed to miss them the first time around.

You're such an excellent writer.

Two weeks, one day...and counting...

rachelbk said...

Thanks a lot, you made me cry like an idiot at my desk.
Seriously though, I was told this morning that my uterus is a 'hostile environment for implantation' and your story gave me some hope. Onward, again.

People in the Sun said...

You had me at "Barcoded semen."

EastCassian said...

Just want to say, I just read the most recent article that you linked from the Times, and well done to the pair of you! Mind, the writing style is subtly different in places! ;)

Mick said...

That's great XboX!

Has this pregnancy gone as fast for you as it has for us, I wonder?? 2 weeks :-)

The Almighty, aka God said...

Only I am omnipresent,omniscient and all the other omnis. You are lucky that I like you me lad.

Susanica said...

Excellent!!!

Geeks in Rome said...

perfectly written! I hope the article helps others out there who need help and encouragement, too!

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Edith - Merci!

@Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo - Sticks & stones...

@steph - :-)

@Jo - lubricated lightening

@womb for improvement - I'm one big wet spot!

@Erin - Best of luck!

@Ed - I'm watching you.

@Jenni - once or twice ;-)

@Valery - I wish I could.

@Jill - Thank you.

@Hockeymandad - I doubt it, people prefer misery!

@James (SeattleDad) - thats just mean...

@Ms. Moon - merci mama moon

@Sadia - haha nice one

@Christa - bless your fading eyesight

@Poppy - Thank you, I appreciate it

@rachelbk - Sorry to hear that, watch this space, soon I hope to have a story that might give you a bit of a boost.

@People in the Sun - Just like in the movie!

@EastCassian - thanks, I appreciate that. I've had others say they recognised it straight away though, funny.

@Mick - in short, no!

@The Almighty, aka God - I've bad news for you...

@Susanica - Cheers.

@Geeks in Rome - Exactly, hope it does.

Panni said...

Very well written.

sniffle said...

Oh god that's very good.

I remember putting a voice message on our finishing along the ascending lines of " we're pregenant and we're getting tense" .

Good luck now.

I'm chancing my arm occasionally over on Bock's place now.

sniffle said...

on our answering machine -doh-

mammydiaries said...

You are a bleach bottle away from being Albino:) Great Article though, I allowed my daughter to spill cereal all over the floor so I could read it :)

Amy said...

WTG, X.

Keith Wilcox said...

Wow! That's pretty awesome! I don't know you, but I'm quite happy for you and your wife.

Mwa said...

If you like, I can send you a tape with the sound of my retching. In case you feel like you missed out.

(People, that honestly makes sense after reading the article.)

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Panni - Thank you.

@sniffle - I can relate. Thats for sure. Squeaky bum time. I'll have to suss you out over there!

@mammydiaries - That was a cold February morning!

@Amy - Cheers ;-)

@Keith Wilcox - Thank you sir.

@Mwa - Oddly, I'll pass.

tiff(threeringcircus) said...

LOL @ Kelley's description.

Nice hair.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Tiff - Oh don't encourage her.
And yes, the hair, the hair...

Hyphen Mama said...

I got all teary reading it, too! I blame the hormones.

I hope your little baby nugget is born with your hair!

Thanatos said...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Fitzgerald

Which one are you?

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@hyohen mama - so does the entire developed world

@thanatos - cover blown!

Blues said...

Congratulations on the article. Certainly one of your most hilarious pieces.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Blues - I think you've been at the sangria ;-)