Wednesday 14 November 2007

Mr. Soft

I’ve gone a bit wobbly.

That is to say, since we started this madness of trying to start a family, I’ve been somewhat more emotional than normal. THAT is to say I’ve apparently developed some.

A lot in fact.

I’ve found myself googling my symptoms only to discover I’m suffering from things called ‘happiness’, ‘excitement’, ‘expectation’, ‘disappointment’ and other such forms of mental instability, but does it stop there? Oh No.

All this unsettling of my natural state away from a condition of purely sustaining my intake levels of alcohol & spicy food, sporting enjoyment, sexual gratification, and generally lazing about the place has seriously unbalanced me.

I find myself asking about the welfare of others, using the word ‘cute’ while not in the presence of a string bikini, or it’s owner, needing sharp intakes of breath when I see our neighbour’s children stub their toes on the footpath and stumble towards the hedge head first (ok, I still chuckle at that one) and roger me senseless, I’ve even leaked, right out of my eye sockets. Like a big old…er…yeah…woman. I originally put it down to some insane allergic reaction to oxygen or something but, no, apparently not.

What is this madness?
Now I’m not completely adverse to a bit of softening of my edges, but there have been points when I’ve had to stop & compose myself before I said or did something ever increasingly sappy that would, I presume, eventually lead to the unavoidable outcome where my genitals drop off.

Is it normal?

Is it age?

Is it a side effect of this quest to reproduce or, bloody hell, worse still, is it vice versa?

Am I spiraling increasingly rapidly into an abyss of nothing other than tissues and hormones and trembling lips and queasy stomachs and pink shit?

I've said before that I think all that goes on during this trying to conceive period, the ups and down, disappointments and mini highs, are perhaps nature's way of preparing us for the future with children, in other words a lesson in not always being in control of everything, going with the flow a little, giving up some pride, and generally being ready to handle anything life chucks at you.

If this is so, nature is one crafty prick.


Anonymous said...

SIR! Step... away... from... the... minivan.

Martin said...

hahahahahaha... said with the tone of a man who's been there and smugly knows the secret...

Hilary (Maya Papaya) said...

This post made me go awwwww. I think it's great. And sweet.

You're not alone. Every since we've been "trying", I've noticed that my husband is more attuned to babies and kids, and in fact, more sensitive than usual. He is truly looking forward to be a dad. I love to see him all squishy like that.

I think you're experiencing this phenomenon because A) you're really excited about the prospect of babies and all the goodies that go with them and B) it's nature's way of making you even more irresistible to your partner. Trust me, we love that sh*t.

I wish you so much luck.

Anonymous said...

What Hilary said.

Martin said...

"we love that sh*t."

classic, true woman style, build us up and smack us down all in one.

Cheers, Hilary & Tiff.

Unknown said...

Sorry man. It only gets worse. I hear that it gets better when your kids hit high school, but until then you're a wobbly pile of goo.

Craig D said...

Don't worry, after the baby is born everything will go back to normal, just like it always was.

P.S. BWAH-HAAAAA-HAAAA! I'm kidding of course. Good luck with the nervous breakdown, pal!

Veronica Foale said...

Gooey isn't so bad! Just don't let your mates know.

Your wife however? Will adore you for it.

terancedubya said...

Welcome. Welcome to the wonderful world of fatherhood. I think I can honestly say that the first time I cried in 10 years was the day my daughter was born. It was like Niagara Falls after that. I hate the color pink, yet that is the ONLY color I buy for my daughter. That and brown, because I'm brown and its my favorite color. I still like sports, I still like beer, yet I would happily throw each one of those aside for an afternoon spent throwing rocks in the leaves at the park. And giggling at the wonderful sound it makes. Fatherhood makes me realize how much fun being a kid is.

Joeprah said...

I still feel weird and go into introspective analysis mode whenever I say "adorable" but I think that when you are a parent life just changes. I never, never, never cried over movies, but now I seemingly cry over the dumbest movies for little more than lame attempts at drama. My emotions have been on a roller coaster since I became a dad and coming to grips with those new emotions is part of the game. Cool post bro.

Martin said...

@DorkyDad, @CraigD, @TerenceDubya, @Joe.... You guys have GOT to be kidding me... this stuff isn't written ANYWHERE...

@Veronica, my mates could not be more in the dark and that's just how it's gonna stay. Thanks for popping in, I'll be checking out your blog a bit more when I get done with pretending to work.

And to all, I really appreciate the comments but I think I may just implode if you keep saying stuff like 'welcome to fatherhood' and 'when the baby is born', I know you mean well but bottom line is, there IS no baby (other than the one currently typing).


NH Yocal said...

You'll get it together soon. It just takes time and patience, lots of patience! And truly,if you have that part down then the rest will come so much easier. Don't worry about getting sappy, we all do it, just all for different reasons. Sorry, gotta go, I am feeling a bit sappy here myself.

Martin said...

The funny thing is I've read a couple more entries in blogs on this very topic in the last 2 days.

Thanks fro the advice.