Tuesday 30 September 2008

Irony travels

It sure does.

How far it can really go, I'm not 100% certain, but I know it managed to follow us 3716.09 miles last week from here in Holland to Toronto, Canada.

The idea was to escape, get away, forget all about this babyfying business. All was going really well until we hit downtown Toronto and wanted to find our way around.

How should we do it? well, why public transport of course!

Thinking that it should be simple, as the city is covered in trams, and buses, and subways.

What is the entire system called?

The Toronto Transport Company.

TTC for short.

Funny buggers these Canadians, but needless to say that we passed on the invitation to ride the TTC bus, for one week at least, the previous 18 months had made us a wee bit travel sick.

So we get back to dear old Holland, the pouring rain, and miserable inhabitants only to remember that we get to spend today waiting for, and watching a plumber check out our plumbing.

Needless to say the verdict is that he has found nothing wrong with our plumbing even though it obviously hasn't been working right for the past year.

Now where have we heard that before?

We are on CD13 or so, so it's hump n'hope time. Number 19 for those who are counting.

When I started this blog the wee blurb on the 'about me' page said 'I am a man....I am twenty-nine years of age'. I have already had to change that to thirty, and now today I change it to thirty-one.

This is not really going according to plan. Happy f*&%ing birthday eh?


John Braine said...

Given your knack for euphemisms, that's pretty effing funny.

Happy Birthday!!!

Keep an eye out, the years from 30 to 35 seem to fly by in blur.

River said...

Happy Bday. I hope the next one sees you changing nappies...

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday.
I hope the next year brings you your hearts desire.

Jenni said...

Welcome back, and happy birthday. Here to hoping 31 is the year of Xbox Jr.

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday Deaaaarrrrr XB.
Happy birthday toooo yooouuuu!!!!

Ian Newbold said...

You've caught me up, you old git.

And I know I'm knocking myself there.

I've yet to update my blog, I think I'm going to stick at 30.

Anonymous said...

I LOVE Toronto!!! It has such an amazing vibe to the place. I hope you enjoyed it despite the name of their public transport system.

Oh and Happy Birthday:)

Proseaholics said...

Happy Birthday Xbox.. and have a great yr!

Ed (zoesdad) said...

If it's any consolation the TTC in Toronto will not get you to your final destination either. It's a road to no where. (I don't really know that, I just made it up in an effort to make you feel better.)

Happy Birthday, you old fart.

Jane G said...

Happy Birthday Xbox. Sure you're only a babby compared to me!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday!

Dude, I was watching Happy Days and stuffing my shirt with toilet paper when you were born!!

Yes, the 30s do fly, but you are still a wee lad with years of fertile frolicking ahead of him. May this be THE lucky year :)

Spence doesn't get older; he only gets better.

Shauna said...

Yeah, I noticed that the last time I was in Toronto. Crazy how we start to see it everywhere EH?

Happy Birthday!

Martin said...

@John Braine - The funny side of it wasn't lost on us!

@River - Thank you, a year might be pushing it, but fingers crossed.

@Tiff - Thanks Tiff, me too.

@Jenni - We can only try ;0)

@Frogpondsrock - beautiful voice...just beautiful...

@Single Parent Dad - prime of life, so I'm told!

@Sinead - Yes it was surprising how 'cool' the place was.
Great relaxed vibe to the place, downtown anyway.

@Joe - Cheers, same again...

@Ed - you know what, it's almost true, a bit disjointed the system is.

@Jane G - era, you're like a fine wine...or cheese?

@Geeksinrome - toilet paper...hahaha...would love to see that in the rain ;0)

@Sky Girl - Absolutely yes EVERYWHERE!

Myst_72 said...

Happy Birthday!

I know what you wished for by the way...


Jared said...

Happy B-Day Man!

Anonymous said...

God, I'm Canadian and have spent my share of time on the TTC. But I have never noticed that before! Brutal! Happy Birthday, anyway!

Anonymous said...

Wow! When you press play you fucking press the shit out of it! Almost 4000 miles away! Right on, but screw that transit system. Irony does travel...

Lot's of birthdays today it seems, so HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY M!

CD11 for me. Here's to hoping that 19 and 15 are lucky, eh.....

Unknown said...

Happy Birthday, Box!

May 31 rock your Box socks!

Susanica said...

TTC! That's funny! Hope you had a nice time on your travels.

Okay, time for some tough love. A little reverse psychology okay? It's totally not going to work this time.

There. My work here is done. Go forth and prosper. Or propogate. Wait--don't propogate. How's the reverse psychology working for ya?

Happy birthday xbox guy. -Monica

Russ said...

Damn 31, you old bastard! Never mind that I'm 34. Have a pint and some Birthday Sex! Hey, if you gonna do it anyway, you might as well make it part of a celebration, right?

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday to you
Squashed tomatoes and stew
You look like a gorilla
And you smell like one two.

Now, I just need to book my flight to Holland so I can give you the bumps.

Tigger said...

Happy birthday, X. Hope your wishes come true!!

Sue said...

F'ing universe. Happy birthday and may it really be a happy new year! You rock, Xbox.

Putz said...

no matter that we are all broke in america, no matter that you are all soaked in holland, no matter that you are 31 and still counting...what matter is it is your birthday and you got to eat cake

Anonymous said...

Three things:

Welcome back!

Good luck!

Happy Birthday!

Jill said...

Happy Birthday!!

Here's wishing you all the best that this new year can bring!

Nick McGivney said...

Happy birthday mate.

Joy said...

Happy Birthday! Wishing you nothing but good thing this year.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday, kid! Here's to your next birthday present being a squalling, smelly bundle of screams! Good times, good times...

Bluestreak said...

awwwwww, happy birthday man! you can just put "30 something" so you don´t have to change it again.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday!!
Wishing you all good things, and nappies, for this next year :o)

Stella said...

happy birthday you old chap!

LOVE IT. The TTC train. Thats awesome.

Whats that 'they' say? You can run, but you can't hide!!!

I would SO vote XBOX for Governor of Alaska. However, lets hope there isn't a VACANCY for that position any time soon.


Kori said...

Welcome back!

ZDub said...

Happy Birthday! Hope your wish comes true.


nh said...

Happy Birthday; may all your dreams come true this year.

DD said...

Happy F*cking (Birthday) - Literally.

I lost all my class after I turned 40 (OK, I never had any, but just letting you know that I now feel OLD!)

Sarah said...

Happy birthday sweetheart! Sorry things are not going the way they should be

Rikki said...

Have a great birthday Xbox!

I know, such an original, witty comment. *eyeroll*

Honestly, I hope your day is full of cake, beer and sex (though not necessarily all three at once).

Kate said...

Happy Birthday to a fellow Sept. 30th birthday person!

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday! Thirties are much better than twenties! Here's wishing you your most sincere dream come true.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Xbox. I'm singing along with Frogpondsrock.

You should really lock up your keyboard next time you go away - you had a couple of right dodgy characters posting on your behalf!

Anonymous said...

I think you should have hopped on that TTC train and ridden it for all its worth! Heck, have a hump&hope lay in on the TTC Train for goodness sake!


Krista said...

Happy Birthday! I hope the rest of your vacation was actually really fun!

morninglight mama said...

Here's me wishing you a relaxing birthday! (One could be hopeful, right?)

Anonymous said...

I think for your birthday you should change your name and start anew. How about xxBox or xyBox? You don't have a preference do you? Maybe having only one chromosome listed has been causing the lack of fusion.

I'm just sayin'...

Happy Birthday to you!

A Decade of BFNs said...

Happy Birthday!!

Coming over from Womb for Improvement.

Anonymous said...

Happy F'ing birthday, indeed.

Have fun with the "hump & hope" today!

Jo Beaufoix said...

Happy Birthday xbox. You'll get there mate.

Sandra said...


Liz said...

Birthday wishes.

I wonder how many Torontorians have found our blogs when all they wanted was tram timetables. Poor dears.

Anonymous said...

Just a Happy Birthday from me. 31 eh? Oh I remember those youthful days....;}

Anonymous said...

19 months, fuck.

Oh and happy birthday! I suppose a birthday shag is just about a given, hehe.

Unknown said...

Happy Birthday, Xbox!!!

Kate in the Northridge

Anonymous said...

Happy f*&%ing birthday anyway. Enjoy the hump'n'hope.

Maggie, Dammit said...


I. am. so. damn. glad. to. know. you!

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday. :)

Gebus, I thought you were older... so much older.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday!! Here's hoping this year is a wee bit luckier than the past...

Have a GREAT day -
xoxo - darcie

Martin said...

@myst_72 - thanks, how'd ya guess? ;0)

@Jared - thanks sir.

@Shannon - See, I not only mock, but educate!

@Christa - Fingers crossed anyway!

@Laurie - hahaha...dunno why I find that funny

@Susanica - not so much.... but thanks!

@Russ - now why didn't I think of that...

@Dan - I haven't heard the 'birthday bumps' used in 15 years or more, brilliant.

@Tigger - Thank you, me too.

@Sue - thanks, and to you, stay positive.

@Putz - 100% true, there was cake!

@Marie - Thanks X 3

@Jill - thank you!

@Nick McGiveney- Cheers!

@Deborah - and to you.

@Praying to darwin - sounds like my 21st...

@bluestreak - don't be getting all 'logic' on me...

@Penelope - thank you, hope so.

@Stella - thanks!

@Kori - I would say 'good to be back' but I'd be lying!

@Zakary - thank you, me too.

@nh - never know, eh?

@DD - class was never baggage I carried...so no fear there

@Sarah - Not going to plan is the norm isn't it?

@Rikki - nothing wrong with a little 'all at once'!

@Kate - small world eh?

@Nola - hope so, I hope so.

@bsouth - you should see the mess left behind...

@kittyconcerto - that would raise eyebrows..

@Krista - it was very nice, a good escape.

@morninglight mama - one CAN hope...

@karmental - clever, but no...I'm not starting again!

@A decade of BFns - welcome! and thanks.
Your name
terrifies me.

@justjuli - thank you!

@jo beaufoix - I think so. just a matter of when.

@TW - thanks!

@womb4improvement - that must be a REAL pain in the arse.
they might be almost as pissed off as the dozens of game fanatics who pop by here every day...

@Tismee2 - do you remember it in colour?

@Veronica - it take special planning to ally ovulation and a birthday!

@Kate - thanks Kate, appreciated.

@nuts in may - Cheers, thanks.

@Maggie, dammit - awww, thank you my dear.

@Anonymous (even though I can take a guess...)
I'm just a wise head on a young and virile body!

@Darcie - I'm guessing that would not be too hard!

Anonymous said...

happy birthday x, i beat you by a slither into the 30 somthings. Hope your bday was better than mine and we both get babies for our b day wishes

paint it black

Anonymous said...

eh, eh mind what ye say...I am bloody 39. Your still a baby in my eyes.
Happy Birthday

Karen MEG said...

MAN, you were in MY neck of the woods!!! (well, close enough to it). Too bad I didn't know, we could have gone out drinking ...

The TTC can suck. I rode it enough when I lived and went to school right in the city. For a city Toronto's size there's GOT to be a better way. It is a great city, though, so hope you managed to have some fun while you were here.

Happy Birthday Xbox, I hope this is a wonderful year for you. At least you're not turning 4- something as someone I know will :be soon ... sniff :(

Mrs4444 said...

Have a shot on me :) Happy Birthday!

Sarah said...

You are SO right.

Unknown said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! May you get your most desired gift for it -- even if it's a few months late. If you know what I mean.

Paddy in BA (Quickroute) said...

Jayzuz - you're practically a snapper - wait till ya get to my age

Cindy said...

Happy Birthday To You!

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday for yesterday, X.

♥.Trish.♥ Drumboys said...

Happy birthday xbox - yes River said what I was going to say
hope it is /was a good one ... I will have a drink to say 'cheers' tonight for you.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday old man.

On your tombstone it is gunna say 'But the plumbing is FINE!'

Get your gorgeous woman to give you a huge birthday smootch from me.

Craig D said...

Happy birthday.

I used to visit Toronto quite a bit in the early 'eighties. I even "lived" there for a couple months.

Nice city, don't you think?

Martin said...

@Paint it black - thanks, here's hoping eh?

@Deno - maybe so, but that would be one big bloody nappy...
how're you doing?

@Karen MEG - I knew you had a Toronto connection but didn't think you were that close.
The system is a bit funny for sure, it runs well, where it runs, but doesn't seem to cover enough of the city at all.

Really really nice town though, very relaxed vibe there.

@Mrs 4444 - Ooooh kinky...

@Sarah - as I so often am ;0)
It'll work out.

@Dorky Dad - its more than a few months late already but I'll gladly take it.
Thanks DD, appreciate it.

@Quickroute - wish I felt it!
I'm positively creaking.

@Cindy (and Brian) - thank you (both)...

@Amy - thanks!

@Trish - go ahead, have one on me.

@Kelley - I will. might change the word 'smooch' though.

@Craig D - thank you sir.
yep, a really nice town. I would go back.

Jason Roth said...

Welcome back from Canadaland. Happy Birthday!!!

B said...

happy birthday

think of the good parts of the last year;
you found my blog,
you mastered the art of being a cynic in a true old-ireland fashion,
your posts have somehow managed to continually improve despite ploughing at the one topic,
you've probably made hundreds of friends without realising,
and other things... the blog only focuses on one topic so i can't be sure

Mama Smurf said...

Happy Birthday XB!

You passed right on by me in your travels...I would have waved out my door if I had known!

Keeping my fingers and toes crossed that your 31st year will be the best one yet.

Anonymous said...

TTC, ironic? Yes. Funny? Definitely. Welcome to 30-dom. I actually prefer being here than in my 20s. Happy birthday, M.

It's good that you're finding out about your pipes, it took us to Cycle 22 to realise there just MIGHT be something wrong. Me, a half wit much? Maybe. Here's hoping you had some fab-o birthday shagging!

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday, and keep your head high, man. Don't forget to buy yourself something good. You deserve it.

Anonymous said...

I am doing grand. 17 weeks now, should find out the sex tomorrow. I still can't believe it. Still shittin' myself though.

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday. We were ttc since July and I just found out that I'm 6 weeks pregnant. We conceived ON MY 21st BIRTHDAY according to the doctor, who thought that was hilarius.

So heres some good luck for you to do the same! :-)

Anonymous said...

Toronto??? Jeez, man...you coulda come to Pittsburgh...we are only a mere 8 hour drive to the south and a GOOD TIME had by all! I had my babies in my 30s...GOOD TIME, very good time...for some reason my plumbing FINALLY loosened up around then (after the fertility crap) and VOILA...preggers I was...keep the faith and HAPPY BIRTHDAY, you spring chicken, you!

James (SeattleDad) said...

Happy Birthday X! I hope you get the best present of all this year.

Captain Dumbass said...

Happy B'day from a funny bugger.

Martin said...

@iVegasFamily - Thanks, & thanks!

@B - That may be one of the coolest things written on here.

@mama smurf - oh cool, where???

@Abrittdifferent - 31...been there for a bit.
I'm quite happy in 30s, but I dont really like odd numbers.

@Matthew M.F. Miller - The new lens I've picked up might do the trick ;0)

@Deno - thats brilliant, really really is.

@Tanya - Congratulations, best of luck to you.

@hotmammamia - hahaha spring chicken indeed, thank you!

@James Austin - you and me both sir!

@Captain Dumbass - hahaha. cheers.

Momo Fali said...

Happy belated birthday! Let's hope you don't have to put 32 on THIS blog.

Zoeyjane said...

Happy belated. I hope you got a little personal attention out of the deal...or a break.

swilek said...

My dear x-box, i must correct you about TTC...it stands for the Toronto Transit Commission!! same irony though eh?!! hey glad you were in Toronto...you were in my neck of the woods...i live about 40 minutes east of downtown! too back i didn't know i could have had you and your wife over for dinner:) i hope you enjoyed your time here!

Unknown said...

You came to Canada and didn't visit? WTF.

Happy belated!

Martin said...

@Momo Fali - hopefully, will be a tight squeeze though!

@Zoeyjane - I like the way you think ;0)

@swile67 - Dammit, you are correct!
You are near the airport then? could have saved us a cab fare ;0)

@Huckdoll - (welcome back !)
yeah you could have popped over, it's only what? 3000 miles or so...

Missives From Suburbia said...

Shit, you're young.

Happy birthday, m'dear.

Martin said...

@Missives from suburbia - thanks Deb...

I don't feel it!