Wednesday 10 September 2008

Satan and the snowman

Telephone appointments make me nervous.

It's far too easy for the other person to be dismissive when you are not face to face.

Let's face it, if there's one good side to being a pasty faced, chubby Irishman with braces and useless reproductive bits, at almost 31 years of age, it's the fact that you can make people take pity on your miserable carcass.

So when ET told me she had a telephone appointment with clinic #1, I was not optimistic for a good outcome.

When they hadn't made contact two hours after the arranged time on Tuesday, I was even less so.

Eventually, they did call.

New doctor from old clinic number 1: So, what can I do for you?
ET: Well, your predecessor had mentioned the last time (that she told us to piss off) that if things didn't work out, we could perhaps arrange some further tests for November.
NDFOC#1: She did?
ET: Er, yes.
NDFOC#1: Okay then, let's do that.
ET: Er, what?
NDFOC#1: Let's arrange a laparoscopy for November shall we?
ET: Er, okay.
NDFOC#1: Okay then, call in 2 weeks and we can set a date for the procedure.
ET: Er, okay I will thank you.
NDFOC#1: Goodbye.
ET: Yes, goodbye.

Simple as that.

Of course it could have been a hoax call and ET was talking to the cleaner or the guy who waters the plants.

It could be that the new doctor is 17 years of age, on some work placement scheme, and hasn't got an iota.

It could have been a daydream, a wild fantasy brought on by desperation that made her imagine she heard some good news.

Or it could be that hell has in fact frozen right over and a Dutch doctor has read our file and given some thought as to what is the sensible and logical thing to do.

There you have it, leaving aside the almost inevitable screw up they will make when it comes to calling them back to confirm the date, we have made some progress.

The timing, in November, is good.

It gives us a couple of more cycles after this one to keep continuing with project hump n'hope, we can continue to get used to the charting, and most importantly it's the safety net in the back of our minds that people are paying attention to the situation.

That's the real boost, and hopefully, we'll get to cancel it!

So in the end, this may be one of the better two week waits we've had, just don't mention the words incision, cut, anesthetic, surgery, scalpel or scarring.

It's not quite frozen over down there yet, but Lucifer has been spotted shopping for a duffel coat.


Jane G said...

That is brilliant news. A little bullshitting is sometimes the only way forward. As a I said already, the lap itself isn't all that bad, she'll just need to rest up for a week afterwards and have lots of tlc. And take it from me, difin rocks!

AnnD said...

Thank God! And I hope you are right and you get to cancel it. How freeing and wonderful would THAT be?!

Ed (zoesdad) said...

I had to send the kids to school this morning in sweaters---maybe it's a sign.

Ian Newbold said...


I hope you have a record function on your phone, just in case they do the phantom phone call gag, which is ever-so, ever-so, funny and not irritating at all.

Happy humping in the meantime

Myst_72 said...

Hopefully you WILL get to cancel it.



Chaos said...

Thats great! See occassionally the crazy white coat brigade gets something right.

Russ said...

Is that light at the end of the tunnel?

Karen MEG said...


Now that you've got the appointment, I so hope you'll have to cancel it for all the right reasons.

In the meantime, have some fun-humpin', 'kay?

Fe said...

Woo Hoo! You know how to best celebrate don't you? Don't you?

Leslee said...

Yay! I'm glad that the docs want to do something besides give you the run-around. I am correct that this will be an endometrial laproscopy? Can't wait to hear good news in the meantime!

Sarah said...

Well its about damn time! I was getting ready to pack my sorry infertile ass up and come bitch slap your clinics for you! Good grief.

PS...I think project hump-n-hope is a worldwide movement! Its like the fight club for TTC'ers. A little pain, mixed with pleasure. Some tears. And it most DEF is a fight.

Martin said...

@Jane G - Yep it's constructive anyway which is great for a change.

@AnnD - My head would explode, THATs how wonderful that would be.

@Ed - Jesus man, stick on a pair of pants too...

@Single Parent Dad - I'll try to enjoy it all the best I can...hard as that may be...

@Myst_72 - Yes, hopefully, just to annoy them too.

@Chaos - I still wanna see the appointment confirmed!

@Russ - 'Choo choo'....

@Karen MEG - It ALWAYS fun! Cheers!

@Fe - Yep I certainly do. An Ice-pack to my knackers.

@Leslee - Yep, it is. I think. I hope. I suppose.

@Sarah - Do I sense a t-shirt opportunity?
'Hump n'hope' or his & hers...Hump on his, Hope on hers!

Sarah said...

OMG! I am allll over that!! I want a pink one!
I think the front should have a small insignia that says "project hump n'hope" perhaps on the left over the heart, and then like you said the boys get the word "HUMP" on the back of theirs and the girls get "HOPE".
Freaking BRILLIANT!!
Lets do it!

Dondi Tiples said...

That phone call just sounds like ET ordered a pizza, and she gets to choose all the toppings...two weeks from now.


Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] said...

Doin' my own little banana dance for you.

Anonymous said...

Excellent news.. love the part about 'hope we'll get to cancel it'

Hey listen, I've been giving this some thought and I've got an idea - maybe you two should go out and get really sloshed, pretend like you're an old flame and her heart's broken over someone else, dance until you're nice and sweaty, cling to each other like hell has, in fact, frozen over, go home and do it in every imaginable position besides the baby-making missionary position? See what happens? Worked for me once.

Jenni said...

It's about frickin time.

Bluestreak said...

that´s great news, Xbox. You´ve given me restored hope in the medical institution.

You´re self-description as a pasty carcass is friggin hilarious.

Hump away.

Anonymous said...

Yay. That will give you something to look forward to. Hope, as I believe I've mentioned, is a delicious thing. And hopefully you won't need the Nov tests. ;)

Liz said...

Nice one! I was starting to worry 'cause you promised an update on Tuesday.

What gets me is the minute the Doctor hung up that conversation was probably superceded by wondering what was for dinner. But for you guys that is the most exciting, positive news you have had on this subject for months. Do you think they appreciate that?

B said...

...wait, in reality(adult life) sometimes there's thing where you have to do meetings over the phone?

I hate the phone, can't stand it.... nearly wish I was deaf now.

Anonymous said...

when I first started reading I was shouting to the computer - (at you)
WELL WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR - SCHEDULE THE APPT FOR TOMORROW DAMMIT! But yes, waiting a couple of months is ok too - project hump n'hope - that sounds like the perfect way to spend the next couple of cycles - before you have to cancel the November appt!

V said...

Yay for some progress!

I'm going to hold out for a t-shirt that lists all the names and says "Olga, Ellie, Spencer, etc made this happen"

Anonymous said...


PS: I love hump n'hope, I'm SO stealing that!

What DPO are ya guys anyways? I believe I'm at 4.

Jason Roth said...

Now let's hope he remembers his commitment when you call to arrange an appointment. I'm optimistic.

Putz said...

my boy has lost 20% more of his remaining 30% hearing all because of the incompetance of hearing professionals in know where utar is don't you???the outbacks of uganda...did he hit his head, well no, has he been swimming underwater for long periods of time...well no, utar is inland and no pools in ephraim...well maybe we should have caught this earlier...if we only had focused on be careful, nappy, or someone down the road will say," if only if" and try to make it david's fault or in this case nappy's fault

Sully Sullivan said...

Sorry I haven't been by too much lately. My job is really hectic these days.

As always, best of luck to you. One of these days I'm going to drop by here and this blog will be out of commission and that will be a good thing ;-)

Anonymous said...

Oh finally some progress! Even a teensy step forward is still *forward*! :o)

MarĂ­a said...


Paddy in BA (Quickroute) said...

Nice to hear the red tape demon took the day off

Anonymous said...

About time eh? I love the "could have been a 17 yr old on work placement" LOL. Finally some decent progress for the pair of you. I am just hoping ye get pregnant before November and that will be the end of that.

Jo Beaufoix said...

But he would look so cute in a duffel coat. And hooray, a little light on the horizon. :D

Susanica said...

Sounds good. Hump n'hope huh? Is that like shake n'bake? ;-)

Anonymous said...

That is great news and a step in the right direction! I did have a lap done a couple years ago and it really isn't too terribly uncomfortable. And in many cases, once the tubes are all nice and flushed out, the chances of conception are significantly higher. But I'm sure you already know that. :p

Kori said...

i think it was because I just sent them an email simialr to the cooment I did one that petition I signed last wek: "I thought only AMERICANS were heartless bastards; get these people knocked up already!" See, it gets the competititive thing going, and god knows nobody want to be compared to America just lately, right? So when you (ET) DO go through with it, and have success, you can give me credit and name him/her after me. Only I don't much care for my name, so could you name her, I don't know, Maggie?

Kori said...

And sorry about the typos. I was in a hurry, trying to keep up with my thoughts. And there is no spell-check on the comment section.

Anonymous said...

Yaaaaayyyyy!!! It's been a great week so far, X. I wouldn't be surprised if you had more good news in a couple of weeks time ;)

Anonymous said...

Yay!! May things FINALLY get moving for ya!!! :)

Veronica Foale said...

Yeah for November!

James (SeattleDad) said...

It's getting rather cold down there, isn't it? Good luck!

Anonymous said...

About time somebody did something for you guys! WOOHOO! I'm so jappy for you, my friend. I really hope you get to cancel it but if it doesn't work then at least there is a plan B

Anonymous said...

LOL, when I said jappy...I meant Happy :P Or maybe jappy is a mix of happy and jumpinmg for joy, who knows in my hospital blurred state.

Anonymous said...


Martin said...

@Sarah - call the printers!

@Dondi Tiples - It'll do us just fine!

@A whole lot of nothing - that ain't a banana...

@That Girl - been there, done that!

@Jenni - Too true!

@Bluestreak - is it self deprecation if it's true?

@Marie - exactly, it's a mental boost.

@Womb for improvement - no worries, I'm just lazy.
I have no doubt that the doctor turned around and had a cigarette and picked their nose and gave no further thought to what they had done.

@B - Yep, your life's path will dictated to you over the phone...

@Darcie - well the timing is the doctors choice, not ours. we are ok with it.
Having said that, if they offered next week, we would probably jump at it.

@Kathryn - Don't forget Cindy the cervix.

@Christa - I think we are in sync lol, O would have been the early hours of Sunday morning from what we understand. So today is 4 or 5 dpo.

@Ivegasfamily - you know, that is my main concern now, it wouldnt surprise me at all.

@Putz - No one is gonna make this our fault, trust me on that!

@Sully - no problems! this place will never be out of comission, might be under new management but never out of comission!

@Penelope - Yep, absolutely! will do me just fine.

@Immoral Matriarch - shhhhh...

@Quickroute - yep, and surprising to boot!

@Deno - yep, me too.
How are things at your end?

@Jo Beaufoix - pitchfork in his pocket!

@Susanica - the very same, different colour box though...

@Jen - Yes we've heard plenty of examples of how the procedure itself is the solution!

@Kori - and if it's a he?...

@Amy - yep, definitely a good week...!

@Nola - Slow and steady wins the race as they say lol

@Veronica - yay indeed, and yay for april and july too. for no reason, just yay.

@James Austin - maybe it's the oil prices...!

@Tiff - I thought you were being hideously rascist!
but I can forgive you...!

@Tracey - wow!

River said...

Yay! Progress! At last! (not much it's true, but...progress).

Laparoscopy incisions are tiny and any scarring will be unnoticeable. I had my tubes tied by this process and can't find the marks at all.

Fate's Granddaughter said...

WeHey! Let's keep our fingers crossed that the next two weeks send me safely out of the first trimester and knocks the two of you straight into it.

Anonymous said...

Are you sure ETs Dutch is up to scratch? :) Seriously though that is great news. It definitely something to look forward to

Sadia said...

Glad to hear a sane medical practitioner is communicating with you.

You might appreciate this:

Anonymous said...

Excellent! It sounds like someone with half a brain (and heart) is finally working at that office. :)

nh said...

Fantastic news... and I really hope that you are able to cancel it! Good luck with the needles, I hope it helps, even if just the relaxation aspect!

Anonymous said...

Oh that's awesome! Fingers crossed that the appointment comes with out a hitch!!

Tara R. said...

Is that a light I see at the end of the tunnel? No, that wasn't some weird Freudian slip. Good luck and I hope you both finally gets some encouraging news.

Anonymous said...

Aha! Aha I say!

My lap scars are minute. And I was watching five-hour out-door theatre marathons in the rain, standing up, the week after. Also, lying flat helps with the trapped-gas referred shoulder pain, and codeine is lovely. And now I shall go on hoping you won't need any of the above advice.

Zoeyjane said...

!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yay!?

♥.Trish.♥ Drumboys said...

yes thank God for some sense and good news at last.
I hope you get answers this time ... fingers crossed.

Martin said...

@River - Yes, progress. But we still shouldn't say things like scarring...

@Fate's Granddaughter - Best of luck to you!

@Sinead - All in English!

@Sadia - Very nice entry Sadia, it's so important for the sucessful to keep talking and writing about all this.

@Justjuli - absolutely, nice to see.

@Nh - thanks!

@April - It is pretty good alright!

@Tara R - thanks Tara.

@nutsinmay - don't mention pain!

@Zoeyjane - yes, yay!

@baby~amore - fingers, shoulders knees and toes!

Anonymous said...

Oh how cool would it be that you get to not make that call because ET is knocked up!?!

Momo Fali said...

Yay! I've never been so excited to see the word laparoscopy in my life! Lucifer needs to put on a jacket.

Kat said...

Glad you have found a Dr. that is actually willing to do his job. I have been reading your blog on and off for a while and am amazed at all the crap you guys have had to go through. You seem to be handling it well for the most part. Keep up the good fight.

Anonymous said...

Okay, best of luck.

Look, it's hard to know what to say. So, good luck kid.

Zephyr said...


It infuriates me to no end that here in the USA, I could get any amount of infertility tests & treatment that my poor wallet was willing to absorb once that magical one year time had passed. Yet you are stuck in this insanity after HOW long?

Infertility is insane enough... no one should have to fight the doctors to the extent that you have.

I was fortunate that once I was treated for a ureaplasma infection and had a hysterosalpinagram (or however the hell you spell it) I got pregnant within a couple cycles.

I hope you can get some answers soon too. But even if it doesn't provide answers, I know the relief in just doing SOMETHING.

Missives From Suburbia said...

Holy COW! It happened?

I kind of hope hell does freeze over, because I have no doubt that's where I'm heading when this is all over, and I've always preferred the cold.

loveyh said...

So excited for you and ET. Here's hoiping that all systems are go and you'll be bumping uglies for fun soon...and not just fertilization. I know how that can suck all the joy of sex out of sex.

Anonymous said...

Dude. That is like, awesome.

And all the other words I say that piss you off so...

Martin said...

@Angel - Pretty bloody cool!

@Momo Fali - hang around, I'm sure I can really get you gong with talk of cramps and puke.

@Kat - Thanks Kat, and welcome!

@Sniffle&Cry - Now you know what I mean ;0) thanks sir. appreciated.

@Lara - Wow, that sounds like a hell of a story you have. Thanks.

@Missives From Suburbia - Seems so! I prefer the cold myself too!

@loveyh - We can't complain ;0) thanks.

@Kelley - my arse...