Thursday, 20 November 2008

Does this make me look fat?


For the first time ever I think I've had second thoughts on posting something.

Half because it's a sappy video clip that has me wondering if I've picked up a head injury unknown to myself, and half because I just don't understand what the post is about.

However, as they say, "publish and be damned".

Or mocked, as the case may be.

I think I have a leak somewhere and I'm losing testosterone, probably in survivable amounts, but I suspect that stocks were dangerously low to begin with.

I'm turning into a woman. One that I wouldn't really fancy either, fabulous hair aside.

I think I'm PMSing.

That last entry was a bit on the whingey side for starters, but I then saw the above video clip on K8's blog the other day and melted into a keyboard assaulting skinsack of contradictory hormones.

In the absence of a tub of ice cream as big as my head, I settled for a bunch of grapes.

Probably subconsciously due to them looking like the testicles I was lacking.

Although, they were seedless.

(
Noelie Mcdonnell's track 'Nearly four' and the album it appears on 'Beyond hard places' are both available on itunes. The best link for the artist himself I can find is his myspace page)


45 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hmmm....strange. I swear my partner used to have pms symptoms when I had them too. Lately he has been calm and relaxed even when I cry for no reason and whinge that I dont want to get fat. If you start having pregnancy symptoms....let someone know!

I keep checking your blog all the time because I really want to read the pregnancy announcement. I feel guilty being pregnant when you guys are trying so hard. I believe telling the parents was a positive thing for her. a problem shared is a problem halved. :-)

Anonymous said...

not to forget, the grapes might have been a tad sour too.

Darren said...

Ya big woman! Yes, your arse is the size of a small country.

There's ain't nothing wrong with us blokes having a sensitive side. I cry everytime Lottie takes the remote away from me.

Anonymous said...

Don't worry until shopping for high heels makes you feel better.

Then worry.

Ed (zoesdad) said...

I'm not worried.

Now had you said you craved a banana and some grapes....

Anonymous said...

I wonder how that person got into my house and staged a show in front of my refridgerator . . .

Your day will come, my friend . . .

Jenni said...

Good god, man, put away your vagina!

Just kidding - it has been a hard and I'm sure at times isolating 20 months. Getting a little emotional is not only normal, but probably quite healthy.

Russ said...

Jenni, that would be a "mangina" ;)

Dude! Nut up and go do something manly, or what ever qualifies as manly in Holland.

(You think it's bad now, wait until you have a child. Frackin' Hallmark commercials...)

AnnD said...

I loved that video. It's so true! So representative of a 3/4 year old and what their life is like! I just might have to post it on my own blog too.

MissyBoo said...

Honestly, I think your just very in-tune with your feminine side! Nothing wrong with that of course - unless you were planning on becoming a Macho, Macho Man!!!

Anonymous said...

What a lovely view into YOUR FUTURE!!!! My heart simply smiled watching that video...you manly man, you!

I simply had to come visit before getting on the plane! And it was worth it, as always!

Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] said...

Please don't insult women by comparing yourself to us.

Do you think people who read your comments think I'm a mean, nasty bitch for how I treat you? *smack*

Jane G said...

You are turning into a woman, and what's more, we're synchronised! Boo hoo, pass the chocolate...

Paddy in BA (Quickroute) said...

grapes of wrath were they?

Wuss!

Mama Smurf said...

That was really cool. Real men watch Oprah...

Anonymous said...

I don't know what made me smile more - your post, the video or the hilarious comments! What also makes me laugh is how INTERESTED we all are in your sex life! That can't be healthy. Or legal.

feijoafication said...

Mwahaha - your've gone public!

It's all down hill from here you know - once you reveal one guilty pleasure...... ;)

Martin said...

@Tanya - Listen, don't ever feel guilty. Feel lucky.

@Joe - Have you not been deported yet?

@Darren - Arrrrgh. That's it man, stand up for us wussies.

@Angel - Oooops.

@Ed - That, is gross.

@Tysdaddy - Hope so.

@Jenni - Hormonal much?

@Russ - I semi dread to think.

@AnnD - It's a great wee track. His album is damn good too.

@M+B - Are you suggesting I couldn't?

@hotmamamia - Id laugh if you missed yoru flight because of it!

@Angie - WHy ARE you so mean to me?

@Jane G - I pass chocolate all the time!
(See, I'm still a boy!)

@Quickroute - Oooh. Sorrrrrry. We can't ALL get deported like you!

@Mama Smurf - No they don't, the only men who watch oprah are Dr Phil and stalkers.

@Bonnie B - There are some funny buggers around these parts alright!

@kma - It's ok, no hills in Holland...

Sarah said...

Awww, X..Its totally OK to feel a touch emotional! I'd worry if you didnt. You guys have been dealing with a TON of things. They take there toll eventually.

Now if you start wearing ETs undies and heels. I may have to stage an intervention of some sort.

Jus sayin....

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure testosterone can leak out of your eyes. You should wear swim goggles just in case. Then you can catch all the leaks and reingest it somehow.

Either that, or you are actually suffering from too much testosterone. It's been scientifically proven that testosterone kills brain cells.

Anonymous said...

I don't know if your bum is too fat. It's too close to the ground for anyone to notice.

Anonymous said...

Angie has nothing to worry about, I am the bitch queen of your comments.

So now I can call you a pussy and it has two meanings.

Awesome.

Damn pussy.

Paddy in BA (Quickroute) said...

I just can't believe you - an Irishman would disclose such a personal thing as emotion on a public blog of all places

1.) - endless shagging by calendar - yes

2.)wanking in a cup - yes

3.)female-ish tearful emotion - NO!

- ya big girls blouse!

Sending you a pack on tissues

Can be used for #2 or #3 above

Anonymous said...

Currently laughing at the testosterone leaking out of the eyes comment.

Try Vitamin B6 - it's supposed to help with PMT.

Anonymous said...

dude...
I feel your pain!! :)

hehehe

Anonymous said...

Hey if you ARE turning into a woman, then maybe you and ET can switch roles for a while. You know, just to keep things spicy. And seedless.

Awh hell, just go get the ice cream.

Anonymous said...

What a great song and video! I'd be more worried if you didn't feel anything watching that.
Seriously, if you were a chick you wouldn't be asking that question. It's a bad question.

Dto3 said...

Yes, it does!

Anonymous said...

gee, you're nice.

Bluestreak said...

I think your lack of testicles will make the leopard g-string look better, so no worries.

Putz said...

i'm three years old and i'm nearly four

Anonymous said...

I totally get PMS when my woman does. It is kind of f-ed up, but gives me a chance to bitch back. Keep your head high, watch some sorts on TV while drinking beer...stay in touch with manly side. That's what I do

Anonymous said...

Two years ago. I was watching a documentary once about Portrane psychiatric hospital in Dublin. It seems the place was a very safe and happy place for the patients. The staff were very dedicated and professional. Then they interviewed a man who's wife was there.... over 30 years. She had a breakdown and was totally non responsive, nothing at all. Every single day, this man came in to see her and sit and talk even though he got no response from her.

Even as I type this now, I am welling up. It left such an impression on me that I actually can't even say it to people, I get too upset.

Deb said...

As long as you don't feel tempted to post footage of the bikini wax I'm certain is in your future, you can post whatever you want. We'll love you anyway.

James (SeattleDad) said...

I thought that was sweet. Pass the grapes, X. Please.

Martin said...

@Sarah - thanks, but hey, what happens behind closed doors...

@Veronica - That's kind of gross.

@Anja - you should be able to get an idea from down there.

@Kelley - WHat's the second?


@QUickroute - if its for #2 something's gone wrong somewhere...

@Bsouth - i like the way you say 'supposed'...

@UrbanVox - wish you did!

@Kittyconcerto - its fattening...

@Amy - Is is isnt it, great clip and track.

@Dto3 - Bastard!

@Joe - Aww, thanks.

@bluestreak - the dangling either side wasn't such a good look anyway...

@Putz - The image of you signing that makes me laugh.

@Bedside TalesMan - I'm planning on it! football, beer and curry on the menu.

@Holemaster - Yep, somethings just strike that chord or hit that nerve we all have somewhere.
I think that would get me too actually.

@Deb - Oh look at you all hormonal ;0)

@James Austin - Right up your street I would have guessed for sure.

♥.Trish.♥ Drumboys said...

Xbox your children are going to be incredible and very blessed to have such a sappy Dad.

Eat Chocolate it cures PMS

Maggie, Dammit said...

Awwwww!

I think it's blogging in general. It's made me more girly, too.

Anonymous said...

No you don't look fat but I'd wear seamless knickers if I were you!

WhatAboutNovember said...

I don't really have a clever comment for you. But I read the blog, enjoyed it, and am largely amused. I wish to roll out the welcome mat to you. Welcome to our world. Chocolate helps. As does tea with a good friend. ;)

Karen MEG said...

You made me cry with this, your big jerk ;)... (well, it just so happens that a little miracle is also nearly 4, I'm still getting over it and beating myself up that I haven't taken more videos of her ...).

This just means that you are very ready to be a dad. And there ain't nuthin' wrong with that.

Martin said...

@Trish - Incredulous more like!

@Maggie, Dammit - I've noticed!

@Tismee2 - Edible?

@WhatAboutNovember - Thank you.

@Karen MEG - hee hee hee. Good ;0)

Jo Beaufoix said...

I loved that xbox. Miss M will be 4 in 2 months time and she is so like that kid, except for she's a girl etc. And that song was gorgeous.

Anonymous said...

hey x- did NOT miss the plane and the frickin snow on Saturday was as much a treat as I could stand....hope you got some too


me and my bouncin baby boy are heading to AMSTERDAM IN THE AM

Fingers crossed for your latest rendition of the fertility fandango!

Martin said...

@Jo Beaufoix - Lovely isn't it?

@hotmamamia - Hope you enjoyed it!