Sunday 7 December 2008

Insert witty and moving title here

So yeah, 4 days eh?

Maybe not. 3 was enough.

You all know how this goes by now, and I really haven't got the energy, so you can fill in your own entry.

[Insert witty euphemism for ET having gotten her period a day early here]

Another one bites the dust, another up, another down, another maybe next f*#^ing time.

[Insert just the right words to say how ridiculously hard this is, and how utterly spent we feel, here]

Again, no doubt, we'll mope for a bit, and start again. Hopeful, rightly or wrongly.

[Insert rousing statement of how even though we feel like we've missed the last train and there's no other way to get home, we'll button up our coats and start walking in that direction anyway, as far as it may be, here]

Weary and sad, and no longer looking forward to the next few weeks like we should have been.

[Insert thoughtful closing statement about life and not getting a chance you deserve here]


Anonymous said...

Delurking finally to send my condolences. We're going through similar stuff over here, and the holidays just make it worse, don't they? So sorry. I'm hoping 2009 is a much better year for you and yours.

unmitigated me said...


Lea said...

I'm so sorry. (hugs)

Ms. Moon said...

This old hippie atheist actually lit a candle for you two.
I'm so sorry.
The candle is still burning.
Take that as an example and don't give up.

Anonymous said...

Damn. Damn damn damn damn damn.

So you'll be at it like knives over Christmas then. You poor, poor people. Christmas far too stressful a time to be having Mandatory Sex. Many hugs.

Sarah said...

I'm Sorry X.

Big hugs for you and ET.

Ed (zoesdad) said...

Insert clever words of encouragement and condonlences here...

Anonymous said...

Insert a bottle of JD, a plate of lamb chops, and a tiny little pot of weed here.

Hang in there, big boy. To re-quote the Dalai Llama: Shit happens.

Liz said...

Oh fuck!
Actually that didn't work.

Oh Medical Intervention!
Surely that's got to be the answer now, you're close enough to the magic 24 month mark, aren't you?

Mama Smurf said...

(inserst a hug here)

Jane G said...

Well bollix anyway.

Really really sorry to hear that. Hugs to you and ET.

Anonymous said...

So sorry, X.

Maggie, Dammit said...

I'm so sorry, my friend. So very sorry.

Anonymous said...

Ah shit. I kept on checking back hoping for good news. I was convinced there would be good news. I am truly sorry. Mope all you need to!

A Free Man said...

Sorry, mate.

Nick McGivney said...

I'm wishing you both the last peaceful, quiet, introspective Christmas you'll have forever.

Leslie Laine said...

AF's ultimate slap in the face is cutting the 2WW short and not even giving you a bloody chance to test.

It sucks.

Thinking of you both.

Anonymous said...

Damn. So soorry for you both. Shit, I dont' know what to say now. Maybe sorry again? I wish I lived next door and could bring you pie, wine and a hug.

Jenni said...

Damn it. I hope your both getting really, really drunk.

MissyBoo said...

I'm so disappointed for you. (((Hugs)))

Tara R. said...

I hate that for you both.

'Murgdan' said...

[insert sympathetic comment to try and make you feel better even though I know nothing will here] sorry. :-(

Myst_72 said...

I'm so sorry.

Even though I know it's no consolation whatsoever.

Thinking of you,


anymommy said...

I know it doesn't help, but I'm really, really sorry. My heart dropped when I saw this post. Lots of warm thoughts for you both.

Julie said...

well, shit.

Anonymous said...

I hate to have to tell ya that...
and shit happens!!

maybe next time mate! :)

ah.... tomorrow is the last day of the Drinks are on ME competition!!
Go on... leave your comment!!!

Hilary (Maya Papaya) said...

so very sorry my friend

Marissa said...

well fuck. FUCK!!!

i'm so sorry.

Anonymous said...

On to the next thing..
Have you thought of going on the Food Combining Diet???
Both of you.

Could be worth a thought.

D. from A.

Hockeyman said...

Dammit. I was hoping for better news from you. Well fuck it man, drink a couple cold ones and toast the air to collect the one I send you and E.

Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] said...

[insert witty blog comment but realize it's impossible imagining you in red boxes as stated on Kelley's post]

The Scarlet Tree said...

Oh man, I'm so sorry. That is really tough news. You know that they say, "when you least expect it" I went on a special fertility diet, high estrogen one. I took a high dose of flax seed oil with it. Anyway though, thinking of you both.

Sarah said...

Damn it I really thought this was it for you guys. I am so sorry.

Jill said...

I don't even know what to say... the above comments seem to sum it all up.

Sorry doesn't cut it... though that's all that comes to mind.

Thinking of you...

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry, I feel your pain!

WhatAboutNovember said...


shit. pure shit.

C said...

My cycle has hit the dust very recently so all i can say it just sucks...and I hate it for you and for me...

Anonymous said...

Bugger it all.
Biggest hugs, not that anything will make it better
(insert (not so)thoughtful line about the journey making you into stronger people)

I'm so sorry.

Veronica Foale said...

Ah fuck it!

Anonymous said...

Fuck! But you know what, bring on the science, baby! I'm a scientist and science rocks. So, what I'm saying is that I beleive in reproductive technology and if it need be, I am pretty sure you guys will be able to get help there. GOOD LUCK!

Martin said...

@Anonymous - Thanks for speaking up. I appreciate it.

@Middle Aged Woman - My thoughts exactly.

@Lea - Thank you.

@Ms. Moon - We won't be doing that, I don't think. Thanks.

@nutsinmay - Yep, I calculate the week before Christmas with the finish around Jan 2.
New Year my arse.

@Sarah - Thanks.

@Ed (zoesdad) - Thank you sir.

@Joe - The chops I might just about manage.

@womb for improvement - 21 down. She mentioned 3 after the lap. So 2 to go.

@Mama Smurf - Thanks.

@Jane G - Thanks.

btw, the way you've spelled bollix gives away what part of the country you're in!

@amy - Thanks.

@Maggie, Dammit - Thank you.

@Sinead - The usual story, give it a day or two an it will pass.

@A Free Man - Cheers.

@Nick McGivney - I hope so too. Thanks.

@Leslie Laine - oddly, or maybe not, I prefer not to get into the testing. Negatives are worse I think.

@bsouth - What kind of pie?

@Big Momma Pimpalishisness - :-( Indeed.

@Jenni - not really advised for a Monday morning.

@M+B - Thanks.

@Tara R. - Thank you.

@Murgdan - thank you, it's appreciated.

@Myst_72 - Regardless, thanks.

@anymommy - thank you.

@Julie - That about sums it up, yes!

@UrbanVox - Thanks for reminding me about that shit thing, I'd completely forgotten that it 'happens'.

@Hilary (Maya Papaya) - Thanks.

@Marissa - That dont work either

@D. from A. - We've been sticking to the reproductive organ conbination diet mostly.

@Hockeyman - You and me both.

@Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] - Is she paying you to mention her?

@The Scarlet Tree - I have no idea when we are going to 'least expect it'.
There's always the option of amnesia of course...

@sarah - I did too. Thanks

@Jill - Thank you.

@The Social Frog - It's shit all round.

@WhatAboutNovember - Yeop, yep, yep.

@Chhandita - nothing worse is there. Take care.

@tiff - Stronger? I think we're strong enough ta very much!

@Veronica - Tried that.

@Anonymous - Yes, I must go get me some science.

Anonymous said...

Life can suck big time. Sending you both big hugs to help fill the void...

Feebee said...


It's just not fair. Nobody should have to face into Christmas with this sort of loss and disappointment. I'm very sorry :(

Irish Mammy said...

Sorry to hear that:-(
I think it was the second month after HSG that worked for is the waiting that is the worst. Keep the faith!

Anonymous said...

I have a kick-arse recipe for tiramisu.. You could get drunk on cake. comfort eating and alcohol in one simple bowl.... xxx

Anonymous said...

Oh M, I wish there really were insightful and warm comments that could make you feel better, but I know you've heard them all before. Just do the best you can to pick the two of you up and keep faith. I really believe your day will come. I can't think otherwise.

Anonymous said...

Sorry :(

Anonymous said...


Statement of frustration not a directive.

Bluestreak said...

2009 is your year, Xbox.

Claire said...

Ah fuck, I'm sorry Xbox. I hope you two still manage to have a good Christmas x

Anonymous said...

I was thinking steak and ale. Any preferences? I'll bake anything if it helps.

AnnD said...

GAWD!!!! I hate this! It's so not fair....I was thinking of you and ET in the bathtub last night (not of the two of you in the bathtub but while I was in the bathtub) and I thought: "Maybe as long as his blog exists, it won't ever happen. Maybe his blog is just sooo good and unique that it's somehow giving them continued bad fertility vibes so it's existence can continue as is. Like it's some sort of super computer with human like intelligence attempting to control the situation..."

Korie said...

hugs and hopes for a happier new year

V said...

I'm pissed and frustrated for you! *Off to go raid the chocolate cupboard in frustration*

I'm not really the praying type, but I'm going to light some candles tonight and send up prayers to whoever is listening on your behalf (hugs)

Rikki said...

Sorry Xbox. Nothing much more to say.

Here till the end..


Anonymous said...

Rat farts.


As you always tell me, take these couple days, dust yourself off, and try try again.

Chaos said...

Damn. I'm sorry X. I hope you get to move on to medical intervention now.

Stella said...

Bugger is right.
Im sorry.

Anonymous said...

Screw the inserting euphemisms, give me your address so I can send you a bottle of Whiskey! Sorry doesn't cut it, but I'll say it anyway.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Son of a whore.
So sorry.
Was hoping hard from the MN.

On cd53 myself. And no, not in a good way. Mother nature just as one hell of a sense of humor.

Jason Roth said...

That's a bummer. Perhaps 2009 will be a better year.

Susanica said...

Hi X Box. I was going to say something profound, but all I could find was disappointment for you. I'm very sorry it didn't work this time. -Monica

Rebekah said...

I stumbled upon your blog and just want to say I'm so sorry. I feel your pain. It sucks... It's great to hear this from the guy's point of view. Thanks for sharing!

Putz said...

stumbled through your blog once again, damn this is getting old

Karen MEG said...

:(. So sorry my friend. This sucks big time.

No other more eloquent words for you. But it's not the end, there is still hope, you gotta remember that. May the new year bring renewed hope and energy.

In the meantime, I'm with Jenni, a good stiff drink will do wonders for both of you.


Anonymous said...


Been studying Obs&Gynae all week and thinking of ye both. I'm so sorry.

Anonymous said...

Man, I'm sorry xbox. There's no other words to express how much it sucks.

Anonymous said...

Suck, suck, suck.

This sucks big fat donkey wotsits.

Sorry seems inadequate.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry for what you are going through but let me tell ya, my husband and I are in the EXACT same sinking boat as you and your wife are in. No words can take away the hurt and sadness you are feeling. Hang in there.

James (SeattleDad) said...

Sorry X-box. I have been there and though I can't make it feel better, I can direct you to the day you have a child (by whatever means because you need to be dad) does happen and how incredibly happy a time that will be. Hang in there.

Missives From Suburbia said...

So sorry, my dear.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry.


I Am Emily... said...

*hug* for both of you.

Please dont give up.

Martin said...

@geeksinrome - It's certainly not, thanks.

@Feebee - Well last year it happened on Christmas day, at least we have a little notice this time.
Small mercies.

@Irish Mammy - Yes indeed, more to come.

@frogpondsrock - I'd puke I imagine.

@Angel - Thanks.

@Edith - Thank you.

@Kelley - Indeed.

@Bluestreak - Hhmmmmmmmm....

@Claire - We'll do our best, thanks.

@bsouth - its a deal.

@AnnD - I've thought the same myself I must admit.

@Lilacspecs - Indeed, thanks.

@Kathryn - Don't think anyone is listening!

@Rikki - You'd better get comfortable...

@Christa - I should keep my mouth shut ;0)

@Chaos - not long now I imagine, if we don't get there first.

@Stella - Thanks

@NukeDad - Thank you sir.

@Penelope - non-working ones at that...

@RRP - 53 is just ridiculous, I dont know how you do that.

@iVegasFamily - Don't think it can get much worse!

@Susanica - thank you.

@Rebekah - It's nothing special, just ranting. Thanks.

@Putz - I know that.

@Karen MEG - Yeah I know, theres more to come.

@Ave - Thank you, sorry.

@Jen - I can think of a choice few ;0) Thanks

@Widdle Shamrock - thank you.

@Anonymous - Sorry to hear that, I hope you make the progress you want and soon.

@James Austin - That's the crix of it, we keep hoping and continue.

@Missives From Suburbia - thank you.

@jbondsgirl - Thanks.

@Tanya - not likely to happen at all!

Fate's Granddaughter said...

I'm sorry.

Mo said...

So sorry that it didn't work out this cycle

Heather said...

Cripes - I'm sorry. Hopefully after the last couple of days you and ET have started to work your way back to being hopeful.

I'm in a similar boat, on cycle 20, although I am able to get pregnant... I'm just having a heckuva time staying pregnant. I got my 'new start' last Friday and spent a couple of days wallowing in my sorrow. But here I am a few days later and back to being optimistic and hopeful. It will happen. 2009 is going to bring great things!

Anonymous said...

Ugh that blows. I hate the way infertility can fuck up all the occasions that are meant to be happy ones too.

Hopefully you will enjoy x-mas a little bit anyway.

Martin said...

@Fate's Granddaughter - Thanks, but onwards and upwards!

@Mo & Will - Thank you.

@Heather - Similar length of time. Yes, after a couple of days you start to get the spring in your step back.
I really can't imagine the trauma of getting pregnant ony for it not to go well.
Best of luck to you.

@Breigh - Every single one of them, it messes with every single event.
We wil regardless, I'm sure. Thanks.

Dondi Tiples said...

Ah, that's just terrible. Life is so freaking unfair.


Anonymous said...

Sorry I was slacking a bit on reading your blog so only just found out.

Wonder what the silver lining will turn out to be in this grey cloud?

Sadia said...

I'm just a lurker, but seriously, if all the good baby vibes in the comments of this blog had an effect, you'd have populated a new planet by now.

I'll send some baby-vibes your way, just in case they help.

Martin said...

@tismee2 - Answers on a postcard, because I don't know.

@Sadia - You're no lurker! You've commented before.


Anonymous said...

So sorry to see this, I had such high hopes for you this cycle.

You are meant to be a dad - this WILL happen for you, one day.

We tried for 23 cycles (then diagnosed with severe male infertility) before conceiving via IVF and now we have two beautiful kids a few years later. It will happen for you guys as well, I know it. Hang in there.

Martin said...

@Expatswede - Thanks Minna, nice of you to say.

It's great to hear that you guys were successful, especially after such a hard diagnosis. Well done.