I'm not sure how much that has, or has not got to do with all this trying to conceive stuff, probably more than I imagine.
There is the practical side of it where we have to be in the same place for two weeks in every four for sure, plus arranging and waiting on appointments with doctors. This makes any longer term plans difficult.
Either way, more than a full year has passed, and I still dread the thought of going home today.
I guess it's the idea of facing people with this hanging over our heads. A little too real.
Last Summer I wrote this joking about the fallout if any of my younger nieces or nephews made any pregnancy announcements. Just weeks later irony bit down hard.
This Friday night we go home to say hello for the first time to ET's new nephew and godson. No doubt there will be some mixed emotions for ourselves, but we are very happy for her brother, a first time dad, and the whole family.
I know from my own family the excitement that surrounds the arrival of the first grandchild.
So we will have a weekend full of chatter and excitement, and reminding ourselves that we don't want someone else's family, just our own.
Sunday, we return to Holland, to start the count down of the last few days of the two week wait.
Speaking of excitement and Ireland, sandwiched in between our arrival and departure, on Saturday night the Irish blog awards will take place in Cork. My anal bleaching, offers of sexual favours, and vaguely veiled threats of violence seem to have paid off, as Xbox4NappyRash is among the 5 finalists in the 'Specialist blog' category.
Yes, I'm clearly an expert at this conceiving business.
One of the first Irish blogs I ever read was Irish Taxi and it, along with last years winner in this category The Family Voyage, plus Irish Economy, and The Biopsy Report are the fellow nominees in the group.
It's a crazy category, very wide ranging, so the outcome is anyone's guess.
On the evening itself I will be holed up in some pub further down the country with my father pouring buckets of beer down my neck, so I think I'll employ Jo from Infantasia (& The Blog Pound & 1 Blank Page) to hurl drunken abuse at the winner on my behalf. I'll be forwarding her a prepared statement of profanity ridden insults for each individual nominee shortly.
Good luck everyone, and enjoy the night.