A decision must be made.
We need a name with which we can refer to this mutating being that has my wife growing out of it's arse.
Calling it 'my baby' is only going to cause confusion when that name is already bestowed upon my iPod, PC, photo printer, telly, and Smartphone.
Add the fact that ET and I can't ever agree on anything, to the delightful news that mood altering hormones have started to kick in, and we are having some trouble pinning a 'name' down between us.
You really haven't played a game of chicken until you've allowed a hormonal pregnant woman bring her face to within an inch of yours, all the while clueless as to whether you are about to get a kiss on the forehead, or a head butt to the bridge of your nose.
It does tend to encourage your agreement with her wishes.
On nicknames themselves, ET doesn't want to call the kid 'Bertie'.
I would be more willing to accept this rebuff of my suggestion had she not already scoffed at 'Bono' and dismissed 'Bruno'.
I don't know why they are all male names, she is convinced it's a girl. I also don't know why they all start with B, although I'm tempted to suggest 'Bugger'.
Either way, we have to call it something while it's busy denying me my conjugal rights in there. 'Squirt' is too obvious, even if it is a shamefully accurate description of how it came to exist.
'Spooge' makes me laugh, but I don't know how appropriate it will be to announce to folk that ET has a belly full of Spooge.
We are open to suggestions, but today in the spirit of ethnic harmony and procreation, I'm toying with the idea of calling it 'Miguel'.
Take that, Nixon.