Tuesday 20 April 2010


I have often wondered about the various people on the periphery of this 3 year long mental massacre. I wonder do any of them think of us now.

From the GP I visited wearing the Abbott and Costello of the footwear world, to the head-bandaged IUI assistant who stood frowning at ET’s vagina like it were a set of dodgy spark plugs, to the croc footed fertility clinic employees who silently hovered around the premises whispering at everyone.

From the nurse who ran out of fingers on which to count the( ever so slightly more than the expected three) follicles during our first IUI attempt, to all the brave souls who handled with such care the fruit of my self-abuse, to the ultrasound technician that first pointed Mango out to us in her tiniest form.

From any one of the dozen dildo-cam wizards who impaled my fair lady on an almost daily basis, to the (figuratively speaking) faceless Canadians packing our online orders for hundreds of ovulation tests, to the shop assistant down the road bagging up our bizarre purchases of pampers and durex.

I wonder do they ever cast a thought to that short foreign couple who kept badgering them for tests and appointments. Each one of them contributed, by their own hooks and crooks, to Mango being here today, chubby and sallow, with a head of insane black hair complete with fair streaks, feeding like a demon and sleeping through the night.

Some have made it their profession, but others remain clueless as to how they helped this family.

Walking around every day is an oblivious army of heroes; remarkable if you just stop to think.

Thanks a million to everyone who have already helped other families by supporting Hadrian’s Walk through donating or spreading the word. If you haven’t read about it already, please do here, and if you can help somehow, regardless of how small, please do.


Putz said...

no they don't remember you, more fish to fry now, you turned out successful and now to be forgotten>>>wait till you have five like me and they will gafah at your past miseries

Hockeymandad said...

It would be nice if they all remembered you, however I think its the fact they no longer see you anymore that is their reward. They know they did they're job and you were successful, so now they tackle the next challenge with the same skill that solved yours.

Although, a thank you note with a picture might be nice to attach to the wall for that next couple to see as they enter the office in search of hope and luck.

Ms. Moon said...

There are sort of angels, aren't there?

Sadia said...

I've thought about that often. There was a nurse in the NICU when our girlies were newborn, tiny, and so fragile who helped us put the world back together with two daughters too small to regulate their own body temperature. Jessica was released from the hospital a day ahead of schedule and I never had the chance to tell the nurse, Michelle, what she'd meant to us.

Sinead said...

"sleeping through the night'. Bastards! I still don't have that pleasure, not even with my two and a half year old sometimes, not to mention my 'you could set your clock by it' 5:18am wake up call by the baby.

Martin said...

@Putz - hahaha, the voice of experience.

@Hockeymandad - I kind of mean those more on the sidelines, not always those with a direct influence.
As it happens, we sent birth cards to everyone involved that we could, people we thought would appreciate them.

@Ms. Moon - Of sorts yes. I'm loathed to use that term though, it suggests some kind of a supernatural influence that I just cannot reconcile.

@Sadia - Exactly, exactly what I mean.

@Sinead - hahah, I was wondering who'd pick up on that.
I'm touching wood, but we are getting clearance from 9:30pm to 7:30am, with a quick turnaround change and feed before another 3 or 4 hour snooze.

Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] said...

"All had a hand."


Muddling Along said...

I have a similar list of angels who helped us through our horrid pregnancy with Babygirl, the midwife, the consultants, the nice nurses - I wish I could make them know how much they helped us

hotmamamia said...

I contacted them to see how I can pay in US $$ but nobody got back to me!!

On the other note..you can believe that in their own way, every single one of the people who helped will have a shrapnel of memory and will know, intuitively, that they helped make a family happen.

Martin said...

@Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] - shut up

@Muddling Along Mummy - exactly, yes.

@hotmamamia - except the one selling durex, I imagine.

I've mailed you about that.

Iota said...

"...and sleeping through the night..." Wow.

Oh. Someone else noticed that bit too.

Geeks in Rome said...

I went back to my old GYN who helped me get on the right road toward pregnancy and told her I was pregnant. She was really taken aback that I had gone out of my way to tell her and she appreciated that. I guess she just never thought she would ever be thanked.

ed. note: The reason she was no longer my GYN as a preggy lady was because I had to switch healthplans right after I had had this successful ladybit operation which led to my getting preggo.

BUT two+ years after I had said operation, the hospital that did it called me to ask if I had ever gotten pregnant and I gushed and raved and said not only yes, but I'm preggo again without needing you guys again!!! Lady on the phone seemed psyched.

I think these people would appreciate a pic or a thank you because I think they pretty much only deal with an infertile patient's anxiety and pessimism, I think they must enjoy seeing some fruits for THEIR rather mundane labor!

jojo said...

I remember the start, three years ago on the buzz. My neice showed her personality quick too!

Blues said...

God, when you talk about all those people kinda makes me want to hide in my closet. We haven't even gone to the doctor yet. I think we're still in denial.