Not in me mind you, I'm all hyped up on heat. Unfortunately ET's occasional 'Oooh' and 'Ahhh' means that I don't get to 'Oooh' and 'Ahhh' at the moment.
Being the sensitive chap that I am, I'm relaxed about it, I can wait. I wait for her to nod off to sleep before rubbing off her.
I digress, that's not the heat I'm talking about, the heat that's missing is in ET.
We've been charting temperature for months now, and the rule of thumb is that the day after ovulation you get a spike in basal body temperature.
Now, the surgery was on CD14, she tested positive with an OPK on CD15. So we should be all set for ovulation by CD16 - Thursday and a temperature spike on Friday, yes?
Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday - Nada. Absolutemente nada! (I envisage body temperature as being Spanish speaking).
So I ask all you incense burning, placenta munching, earth mothers out there, where in the name of all that is uteral is our temperature spike gone?
Swallowed by the surgery? destroyed by dye? escaped out an incision?
Has this conception effort taken on a life of it's own and started making conscious resource deployment decisions of it's own accord?
-'They're not shagging this month, no need to spike!'
Answers on a tampon box please.
Someone else that is a tad low in the body temperature stakes is the dead woman I had to walk around on the way to work Friday. Shot in the head so she was.
Normally this would be seen as a bad thing, but in the charming centre of vice and crime where my office is located, it has it's benefits.
With all those extra crime scene investigators, police, and TV reporters buzzing around the place, our friendly neighbourhood prostitutes were expecting a bumper weekend of business.
Their windows, plastic bedding, and crotches all got an extra wipe of a damp cloth in anticipation.
While I am squeezing the last drops of irrelevance out of the wet rag that is our non shagging days into this empty bucket of a post, I might as well mention that last night I experienced a 'first'.
I almost put my foot into a hedgehog.