Monday, 21 April 2008

Ellie

Hello there,

You don't really know me Ellie but I know quite a bit about you. I've known your 'mother' ET for quite a long time, and we even had you and your sisters pointed out to us by a specialist last week.

I hope you don't mind me saying, but you really are a pretty egg.

I know this is a really old fashioned way of doing things, but sometimes the old traditions are best, you know?

I'm aware that you have lots of guys hanging around, bugging you and trying to get into your good books, and I know that up until now, you've resisted their advances.

You're an egg with high standards in morality and taste, always something to be admired.

You see Ellie, I have a buddy, and he's taken quite a shine to you. He really is different to all those that you've met before for many reasons.

He's been admiring your for a long time, over a year in fact. You don't know this, but every month when you take your trip down south to the beach house in the 'tubes, he travels from a place that is beyond even the realms of your imagination just to try and meet you there. He truly goes to tremendous effort.

He's made twelve attempts now to rendezvous with you, but each time he just misses out. I don't intentionally want to make you feel bad, but this is getting him down just a little bit.

Not that he's given up, absolutely not, quite the opposite in fact Ellie.

When he started making his trips to meet you, he wasn't the best swimmer in the world. Frankly, he sucked. The measure of his character is that he just didn't give up, he got to work, he trained and conditioned himself, and now he's one the best swimmers you could ever hope to meet (and not too shabby in a pair of speedos, not that that should influence you in any way, of course).

Basically Ellie, this wee guy may not be the most handsome nor the brightest you'll ever meet, but he's hardworking and is busting his milky backside to get a chance to meet you.

I guess what I'm saying is we know you are taking another trip south in a couple of days, and he has really given his all to be ready to get there to meet you in time. Not only does he want to meet you, but he'd like the chance maybe to take you for a bite to eat, or for a drink of something, non-alcoholic naturally.
He really wants to impress you, between you and me Ellie, I think he believes you are the one for him. He's quite the romantic that way, he is convinced it's fate that you both should meet and settle down somewhere nice, just the two of you.

I know you enjoy your lifestyle at the moment, the freedom to come and go, hanging out with your sisters up north, and heading down south to party every month or so, but doesn't even the smallest part of you wish for someone special to keep you company?

So, my dear girl, when you reach the 'tubes, keep an eye out for him, he won't be the one shouting the loudest or getting drunk or making rude jokes, but he'll be the one that's worked the hardest to get there.

You could do a lot worse. Just give it some thought, eh?

Kind regards,
Me.

P.S. How could I forget? His name, is Spencer.
You should be able to recognise him because he's the one with the wallpaper paste complexion, the glint in his eye, and the big heart.

...oh yes, and braces.

38 comments:

dadshouse said...

Very touching, as heart-to-hearts are want to be. I'd feel dirty if I cracked a joke. Hoping for the best!

Hilary (The Trying Game) said...

So sweet. It's always a good idea to appeal to the female side of things ;)

Wishing you guys the best of luck as always.

Putz said...

that is THE BEST ONE that you have written so far, all have been good but this one made me cry...boooohoooo....

Kori said...

OMG, hell, after this I want to meet Spoencer, and I already HAVE four kids!

Misty said...

ok...
This really is the sweetest thing.
I love it...
It takes a real gift for someone to write a love letter on behalf of their "little swimmer"... :)

Marylin said...

Oh so sweet :) I really hope Spencer and Ellie get together soon...

Tara R. said...

What girl could pass up that tender introduction? I'm all verklempt over here.

Maybe you and ET should keep the names Spencer and Ellie, you know, just in case of twins.

Lyssa Ireland Thomas said...

I think you're missing out on your calling to be a matchmaker. Just a lovely tribute to your little buddy. And his future gal.

Tismee2 said...

That HAS to do the trick this time. I'd fall for it.

But I have one concern. When Spencer and Ellie do get it together, and you and ET become three, will the world wide web be able to cope with the celebrations?

Er sorry, think I may be getting a bit ahead of things here.

Andria said...

Oh, Ellie, how could you resist?!

Roth Family Adventures said...

How can Ellie resist that. She needs to give up on her edict to remain pure and just get a little kinky with the boy. You hear of Ellie...lift up that skirt. Spencer has been working hard. He should be rewarded.

Quickroute said...

Promise Ellie Diamonds if she's nice to Spencer!- works every time!

p.s. Mama says - Life's a box o' chocolates so Swim Spencer Swim!

Thalia's Child said...

Very sweet and tender. Spencer sounds charming.

goaldeebug said...

*getting out the pom poms and air horn*

Come on Ellie, give a guy a break, we're all rooting for you here!

Really nice post X! :)

Dorky Dad said...

That'll work. Compliments always gets the ladies. Maybe Spencer should bring flowers.

NukeDad said...

Tell Spencer not to forget his Barry White collection.

A Whole Lot of Nothing said...

If that sweet letter doesn't get that bitch to pay attention, you're better to assume she's gay. Women...

Can I get a drawing of Spencer w/ braces?

Deb said...

Well, if that isn't the most romantic plea for fertilization I've ever read, I don't know what is.

I hope Ellie and Spencer connect and find happiness together forever this month.

Breigh said...

What I want to know is, if you do get ET pregnant and you have a boy, will you name him Spencer?

frog ponds rock... said...

mmm methinks maybe Spencer should buy Ellie a bottle of 'passion pop' just in case..

Lori said...

I just have to echo ... possibly one of the sweetest posts.
Ever.
Can you imagine the global cheering that's going to take place when you two announce you're preggers?!?!
I'm going to stash a bottle right now to save and celebrate with.
Weird, I know. But we're all rooting for you and so invested in this journey with you.

Fingers crossed !

Tracey said...

You are insane.

I say that with affection.

Veronica said...

Ellie and Spencer sitting in a tree...

Or should that be fallopian tube...

frog ponds rock... said...

I have just come back over and I am with Lori.. I think that I might go out and by an insanely expensive bottle of Dimple and then save it to wet the babbys head...

oh yeah that is a GOOD PLAN...

*skips away happily*

Foreigner by Default said...

Reasoning - the best approach to stubborn eggs!

Just as a back up - you might want to try flowers as well. And strawberries, maybe. With huge box of chocolates.

No champagne though. Can't have Ellie and Spencer drunk and disorderly.

love bites said...

I would totally want to DATE spencer, but as always, the good ones are all married. ;)

Coll said...

Never have a wished so hard for a "chance meeting" and to think this is only my first visit to this blog.. but all of my fingers and every thing else that is crossable is crossed. :-)

Momo Fali said...

Here's hoping Ellie doesn't act like a typical chick and play hard to get. Good luck Spencer!

Amanda (Shamelessly Sassy) said...

Ellie + Spencer= bliss.

Light said...

Ellie...you have to have a heart in there somewhere...even if it will develop soon....give Spence a chance!

great blog!

Hockeyman said...

Spence should lose the speedos. No one looks good in Speedos!

Angel said...

I'd certainly give it up for any guy having that introduction preceeding him... even if his name was Spencer.

Good luck!

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Dadshouse - feel free to crack any joke you like, I'm a big boy, I can take it.
If I dish it out, I'd expect it back.
..and thanks!

@Hilary - thank you oh bebellied one.

@Putz - you are turning into a nice guy...scarey ;-)

@Kori - Did that motivate you ;-)

@Misty - A gift? oh bless you I'm not so sure, now if you said, say, dementia, I'd probably agree.

@Marylin - Me too! thanks for popping in.

@Tara R - twins? they'd be called baby found on church doorstep numbers 1 & 2... joke, honest

@Lyssa - don't sugar coat it, I'm going potty.

@Tismee2 - I think Rio street carnival has no great worry just yet!

@Andria - lol, she's managed well so far, the cold hearted wench.

@Roth Family Adventures - rewarded, oh dear, dont go there!

@Quickroute - Hola down there in BA! I loves me some Forrest Gump.

@Thalia's Child - thank you, he has 'something' !

@Goaldeebug - thank you missus.

@Dorky Dad - she's got this pollen allergy thing though...

@Nuke Dad - the first, the last, my everything...

@A whole lot of nothing - that WOULD explain all the hanging out with the other gals...
Leave spencer alone you.

@Deb - Thank you m'dear.

@Breigh - Straight up? No, not a chance.

@Frog Ponds Rock - get her liquored up?

@Lori - Thank you, hope you didn't invest TOO much cash...

@Tracey - ah yes, the affection of a declaration of inanity. Unbeatable.

@Veronica - If it's a tree, I'm truly screwed.

@Foreigner By Default - Now only if it would work with women!

@Love Bites - Nice love bites scares me. that is all.

@Coll - thank you, its appreciated. Come back now!

@Momo Fali - I get the feel she's a VERY typical chick.

@Amanda - and hopefully a shit n'spit machine!

@Light - you tell her! thank you, thats very kind.

@Hockeyman - Spencer rocks the speedos man...

@Angel - awww ease up on the hatin' of the name. He's a sensitive boy!

Kelley said...

I think Spence should set his sights on one of Ellies sisters. Cause I know two women named Ellie. And take it from me they are not the quietest, articulate or snappiest dressers I have ever met.

Fiona said...

How can a girl resist 69% motility? Go Spencer!

Thanks for stopping by - nice to meet you and very best of luck!

Karen MEG said...

Ellie and Spencer... they sound like such a lovely couple!
And she sure is a very pretty egg!



You are such a cracker jack, matchmaker extraordinaire, Xbox... good luck this cycle!

Captain Steve said...

Spencer may not be the hottest, most boisterous guy about, but hard work and a sense of humor do a lot for a guy. Go with it, Ellie. Also: did ET pick Ellie or did you?

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Kelley - My poor dead mother's name was Ellie. Well, not really, but it would serve you right.

@Fiona - Thank you. I've just finished trawling through the 2.5 plus years of your blog. AND just ordered your book. AND just listened to you on national radio. AND I'm going through your dustbins.

www.makingbabies.ie for those who want to be seriously impressed by serious determination.

@Karen Meg - I'm a say-what-now?

@Captain Steve - All my doing. If I asked ET to pick a name for one of her eggs she would kick me in the throat and leave me.