Sunday 9 March 2008

Updates & The 'Rash Review

Baby Juice Update: There is no update, the results were not in. Just as well seeing as ET left the country this morning without her phone and I would have had to have used smoke signals to give her the news, but there isn't any. I'll try again tomorrow, if I haven't spontaneously combusted or been arrested for throwing stones at passing cyclists in the meantime.

Free Stuff Update: I've decided, thanks to Monique's* powers of perception, that I DON'T want a free XBOX360 from Sony to blog about in a witty yet boyishly charming manner, because they don't bloody make them. Instead I think I could do Microsoft a great service by telling the word how their products make me no longer want to change nappies.**

Meanwhile, back on the ranch. Being the wonderful, generous, loving itchy gonad that I am, I've decided to offer my literary services to you all.

Due to the facts that A) I very obviously have no children and therefore nothing to do with my time, and B) having to partake in squelchy sessions more often than was ever intended for a man hurtling towards middle age, and therefore can no longer walk properly or interact with society, I have plenty of time on my hands.

I'm offering, for a limited time only (i.e. until I get bored), an Xbox4NappyRash style review of, or interview with you for, your blog.
If you don't want anyone thinking that you've got a really big head, I'll take nominations for blogs from other bloggers and clear the nomination with you before I write anything.

For reviews I'll even provide a summation in the form of a semen analysis. Now who doesn't want that? eh? eh?

You can e-mail me your request or nomination for a review or an interview on the usual e-mail address I leave when I spam your blog with asinine comments, or at the new sexy, whiter than white address of, or even just leave a comment here if you are brave enough.

I'm not one to play the guilt card, but if no-one responds, I'll be f*&^%%$ gutted.

*Go check out the most beautiful baby photo ever on her blog.
** A big fat lie.


Anonymous said...

Guttered, eh?
Bugger about the results. I bet they've lost them and you will have to perform again! Just kidding... or am I?

I nominate Kim's blog for an x - box review.


Jason Roth said...

I would take you up on a review, but I don't think I'd be able to survive the criticism that will ultimately result.

Miss Awesome said...

oh you can review/interview my blog all you want. Since, I'm not ballsy enough to nominate anyone else, since they might get upset and kill me :)-

Hilary (Maya Papaya) said...

I'll be interviewed/reviewed!

me me me me me

No results yet, huh? I've been blog-stalking you all morning waiting to hear the news! Doesn't your doctor's office know that I'M WAITING???

María said...

I'm totally brave enough.
Let's go!!

Doodaddy said...

Interview me! Me! Me!

Except I get to lie and shit. 'Kay?


PS. Sorry about not hearing about the BJ. Um, baby juice.

María said...

And I'm greedy - so I want both, but I'll settle for a review if I have to choose.

ALSO - I'm with Hilary - what the hell is wrong with your doctor! We're waitin' here!

Martin said...

Well, well, well!
I AM surprised at how ballsy you all are.

I'll contact nominees and volunteers (and Las Vegas chickens ;-) ) in the order that they have commented.

I think interviews for a lot of these folk would be the way to go, seeing are most of you are a bit mentally 'alternative'.
You may see me sniffing round your blogs at strange hours of the morning in order to dig the dirt.

So hold onto your hats, don't get impatient, I WILL get around to you.

Anyone else who comments and wants to join, you'll be added to the list, so don't go pissing yourself.

Hillary & ImmoralM, I didn't even get to talk to the doctor, he is protected by his mighty 17 year old telephone assistant armed with an amazing ability to suck the life out of any caller.

Incidentally, if these results are bad you can all bugger off and do your own interviews.
Just Kidding. Maybe.

Lyssa said...

If it's bad news, I'll send you my kids until they turn 18. If it's good news, I'd love a review, interview or any kind of a mention. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

If its bad news, we'll interview you to distract you. No baby questions!

Feel free to review/interview me if you find you are still in the mood by the time you go through your looooong list of takers!

Anonymous said...

I'm up for an interview! I'd rather you didn't ask me about my job though. MI5 don't like you talking about stuff when you're a 00 agent.

frog ponds rock... said...

Interview me? jumps up and down excitedly pick me pick me pick me...
heheheheheeh go on I dare you...

cheers kim..

the planet of janet said...

me me! i'm just a lurker usually...

but i'm up for fun here...

Deb said...

Oh, hell... why not? Pick me! Pick me!!

Martin said...

the list gets longer!

I'll do my best to get through 1 a week, hopefully more.

Anonymous said...

I want you to set up a new blog with hourly updates on my awesomeness.

And other people can adore me by guest posting.

No effort on my part and feeding my over inflated ego...


(catching up now, reading posts in date order.)

PG said...

See, this is where you launch the PREMIUM 'Rash Review service. For a small fee you can be moved to the front of the queue!

You shouldn't be too surprised. Most all of us bloggers are attention whores!

Oh, including me!! Count me in, if you don't get sick and stop doing them before you get to me.

Martin said...

I'm surprised at my own surprise I suppose PG, whores the lot of you !

You're on the list, as is Kelley and everyone else.

I'm probably a week behind on this idea before I've even started thanks to other pressing issues, i.e. my useless testicles.
But I'll get round to it!

Anonymous said...

Oh Pleeeeeeease Mr XBOX, please ell me Im not too late for a review?