Friday 22 May 2009

Of course, what else?

Sometimes, you have to laugh at it all.

We were given a semen sample pot and detail form when we arrived at reception this morning. That was surely a good sign, things were about to happen.

For good measure it was an unfamiliar face that called us into the big brother room. Making her the sixth stranger make a human lollipop out of ET in the last year or so.

I think we'll bring a special prize for the 10th, a framed picture or something.

Cutting to the chase, we have 4 follicles again. With the 3 from two days ago showing little or no growth. All four are between 12mm and 14mm.

Not big enough to trigger, and too many.

Meaning, we await confirmation that we have to go back again over the weekend.

I haven't a bloody clue what's going on in there. There's no pattern, no consistency, and to add a little spice, our dildo-cammer for today announced that one of ETs ovaries is in the wrong place.

The wrong bloody place. Not in her jacket pocket or on the mantelpiece or anything, but it's above the uterus as opposed to the side of it. She assures us that makes no difference whatsoever.

I like to think that it just fancied a stiff word with it's partner on the other side, hopefully telling it to get it's arse in gear.

Well shout louder, bitch.

So, we wait, again. For a call back for a scan, again. To see if we can go ahead or be cancelled, again.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to throw my head back and laugh dementedly.

[EDIT - We go back on Monday, they need to see growth, they want some 18mm follicles. We are a way off that at the moment]

[DOUBLE EDIT - Mammydairies found the idea of one ovary trying to get at the other so amusing, she turned her hand to animation. Quite the achievement considering she is quite literally about to blow any second. We are in talks with the ovaries over a stage musical about their lives, set to the back catalogue of Duran Duran.]


Veronica said...

See? That's what happens when you spend all your time with your hips propped. Your ovaries decide to flop into the wrong spot.

Fuck @ the 4 though. Wait and see is not exactly the easiest thing.

Feebee said...

Fuck it. You know, when you said in your last post that one follicle had disappeared, I was hoping it wasn't just hidden behind the others. I have had follicles shrink but never disappear. Is the clinic very strict on numbers?

If you do need to go again, I think a natural IUI is your best hope. FWIW, I got pregnant with a natural IUI with one follicle - if IUI is going to do its job, it should be able to do it with one good egg.

But for now, I'll keep my fingers crossed that one of those follicles shrinks over the next few days. I have had it happen (twice, during IVF when I didn't want it to happen) so it is possible!

Good luck!

Ed said...

So, I'm confused. They cancel the IVF with more than three, right? But that doesn't mean you can't launch an all-out attack on your own. Or am I wrong?

mammydiaries said...

Ffs! But you're right, sometimes, you've just got to laugh. Even if it is manically... Love the image of Ovaries giving out to each other. Made a little sketch and everything but have no idea how to post it.

Mo said...

Geez. One step forward one step back. this is so incredibly frustrating.


Sarah said...

Oh, for fucks sake!

Ms. Moon said...

This is all so mysterious and I can see why and how you would start to anthropomorphise ET's innards as well as your own personal part of the magical mixture which should result in the miraculous creation of a human being.
And you do that so well. said...

Egad! This is a yo-yo of hope and despair....Can you tell them to fuck do it anyways?

Was that remark about the ovary made off-handed...can you follow up about what the sonologist says?

The reproductive mechanism is so delicate and complicated that when somebody tells you that oh-it-does-not-matter, you can just call them Hercules and throw sunflowers at them!

Well, there is nothing but to wait for the next appointment to happen!

Martin said...

@Veronica - No, it's not.

@Feebee - My gut instinct was that she missed the third the last time around, but who knows.
They are unmoving on the number, but I'm curious as to what their stance is regarding say the size of a 4th, does 12mm count etc.
It's my belief that we need the IUI more than we need the drugs.
Sperm isnt getting to where it should when it should for one reason or another.

I'm not getting into a strop yet over it, anything can seemingly happen from one scan to the next.
Weary making though.

@Ed - Me too.
It's IUI, and yes more than 3 they will cancel, but the problem is also growth now, the ones that are there aren't big enough, and havent grown much at all in 3 days.

@mammydiaries - hehe, would be funny to see. mail it?

@Mo and Will - Very, very, very much so.

@Sarah - Exactly.

@Ms. Moon - I'd prefer not to have to, to be honest.

@WiseGuy - I really really dont know. But yes, wait.

meabh said...

So laugh a minute Janneke missed a follicle yesterday. Thats not funny at all.
Hopefully the fact that the 3 didn't grow, may mean you end up with one dominant follicle. Don't loose hope you are still in the running.
I do agree with feebee though, but I know you know that & it doesnt help you right now, so I'll shut up.
thinking of you both.

WhatAboutNovember said...

What absolute cruelty.

Amber said...

How frustrating. Ugh. Have you invested in a punching bag yet? I think I'd need one to avoid pummeling the bearer of bad news just for being the messenger. Hoping you get great news this weekend.

AnnD said...

Well....I'm there were four, then three and now four again....what if the next time you look and the two little ones are still not looking good and may not get as big as they should get? Will they still cancel it?!

This is maddening. I'm going to nominate you and ET for sainthood.

MissyBoo said...

Bugger that for a joke!

areyoukiddingme said...

How frustrating. Do they factor in size, or is it just numbers? I hope there is better news ahead.

ME! said...

puh! Those little girls in there need some direction! I hope that your next visit goes well...I think I heard you laughing over here in the States...:)

Dora said...

Size totally matters! Or it should. If 2-3 reach the correct size, but 1-2 don't, they should definitely go ahead. Theoretically. :-/

Russ said...

It's either laugh or cry. Laughing is better.

Her ovary was in the wrong place? What, behind her spleen?

RRP said...

Awww Fuck.

So here's a question? Could this bad be good? Could the non-growth be a sign of a fixable problem? The fixable problem the doctors couldn't previously identify? Or are they just taking their sweet time.

I don't know what your docs say but here in the US of A, if you have more than your limit but some aren't the right size, they can still trigger. So if three grow, and there's a fourth but it's wimpy, that doesn't cancel the cycle. Hoping that's how it is for you guys too.

Jason Roth said...

I guess my good vibes didn't make it across the ocean. Hopefully things go right soon.

Gypsy said...

I don't know what any of this means, but I feel for you, dude.

Susanica said...


Jenni said...

you are making this shit up.

Lorna said...

oh, lord. Poor E.T, not so nice having those dildo cammers every couple of days either.
Good luck x

nh said...


As to the ovary - mine are both stuck in the wrong place... and my biology teacher friends say it doesn't make a difference, that the fallopian tube will move to catch any eggs (if only I actually made any!). Don't ask me - I teach chemistry for a reason!

I hope that something happens over the weekend - that 2 or 3 grow and the other one tails off! Thinking of you both.

Liz said...

Can I say piss-flaps, or would that only illustrate my state of intoxication?

Still I presume if it doesn't happen this month you won't have that same 'shall we shan't we' as last.

Fucking arse. (fate, not you)

Gwen said...

I'm really hoping you get the news you're wanting next week.

Karen MEG said...

Aw Geez, that is a pain that they're such sticklers for the number 4 when as you've said, it's size that matters. Hopefully they won't cancel.

And they used to have a devil of a time finding one of my ovaries too... seemed to like to play hide and seek half the time, the stupid old bag.

Human lollipop - snort!

B said...

If it makes no difference, why bother telling?

IrishNYC said...

Ugh. It's almost as torturous as the 2WW. I sometimes would have 3 12-14mm follies that would take forever to grow to 18-20, but I always lost one or two along the way. I hope the same happens for you.

I Am Emily... said...

Hopefully the pep talk with the other ovary has helped. Mine plot together most of the time.

It's amazing to think how complex pregnancy and childbirth really is...women are absolute machines!!!

River said...


Martin said...

@meabh - Its very possible she missed it somehow, the disappearance and reappearance of a 12mm follicle in 48 hours is unlikely.

@WhatAboutNovember - Uuuuum, yep.

@Amber - It will be Monday now.

@AnnD - Simple answer - I don't know anymore.

@M+B - Yep, Indeed.

@areyoukiddingme - Size needs to be heading for 18.

@Lorza - that's very possible.

@Dora - Just have to wait and see.

@Russ - buried in the garden.

@RRP - I'll eat shit if they would be willing to trigger with 4 decent sized ones. it won't happen.

@Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] - Yes, quite.

@iVegasFamily - You need to vibe harder.

@Gypsy - I'm not too sure myself. Means we wait, again. Thanks.

@Susanica - Yet annoying true.

@Jenni - Yes, I'm a regular JK Rowling.

@Lorna - This will be 4 in a week.

@nh - Yes she was adamant that it made no difference, she was just surprised.

@womb for improvement - There wont be any moral dilemma drama that's for sure.

@Gwen - thanks.

@Karen MEG - yep.

@B - none of the previous 5 mentioned it, so I dunno.

@IrishNYC - This is the pre 2ww, 1ww.

@Tanya - Not quite, a machine I could dismantle on the kitchen table.

@River - inbloodydeed.

Jo Beaufoix said...

Am wishing for growth. And maybe ET's ovary is in the right place and everyone else's are wrong. Tsk. Cheeky dildo cammer.

Anonymous said...

I am reading but don't want to bore you with repeating what everyone else is saying...feeling your frustration.....I'll keep reading!

Putz said...

i can think of so many clicheas...when it rains it pours, if something could go wrong, it will, where there is a will there is a way, don't jump on the wagon before it starts.....last one, yu are so blessed, this too can not go wrong

Angel said...

I would be beyond demented at this point.

That illustration is hilarious! I love it!

B said...

Maybe they save little snippets of info to say later to keep people interested. JK Rowling.

The doodle is great.

Malky B. said...

Wow never a dull moment with you guys. Hope things work out for the IUI. If you do get canceled because there are 4 trying on your own is a lot safer than last time though. Keep that in mind.

Jane G said...

I hope things went better for you this morning.

Love the illustration!

Martin said...

@Jo Beaufoix - Tabloid Nurse I'm calling her now, with her shocking headlines.

@hotmamamia - thanks.

@Putz - Thank you sir.

@Angel - It is a good one alright.

@B - clever innit?

@Malky B. - Trust me, I'd take dull!

@Jane G - Thanks, they did.

Blues said...

How dare that doctor talk shit to your wife's ovary.

Damn, damn, damn. I was about to leave a screaming for joy comment on your last post, but held off to see what was happening and I don't like this one bit.

What the hell is all this follicle business and how can there be four and then three and then more, what the hell??? I'm so clueless about the female body it's a wonder I have one.