Having already left 'too much information' airspace, I've proceeded to fly over 'please make him stop before my eyes bleed' territory.
For your amusement, and to further my seemingly uncontrollable hunger to make an unmerciful eegit out of myself, I'm gonna give you the blow by blow of the results, which I received the details of today.
2.5ml (Norm 0.5 - 5.0ml)
You'll note that I was concered about the volume at the time, I'm pretty sure that under normal circumstances (i.e. not sitting on the side of the bath with a stopwatch between my teeth and a plastic pot my left hand) that I would usually get another 50% onto that.
64 million per ml (Norm approx 2omillion per ml)
I'm Lee Majors and I'm getting T-shirts printed...
Seriously, -who da freakin' man?
Motility A(fast progressive):
22% (Norm >=25%)
Motility B(Slow progressive):
10% (Norm >=50%)*
Motility C(non progressive):
Motility D(totally fucked):
My house IS built on a nuclear reactor, right?
8.0 (Norm 7.2 - 8.0)
ET disputes this. Don't ask...
33% (Norm >= 30%)
Big heads, go figure...
Mixed Agglutination Reaction for IgA:
0% (Norm <=10%) Them's my boys
Mixed Agglutination Reaction for IgG:
0% (Norm <=10%) Whoooo, ride 'em cowboy...
Presence of agglutination:
Bugger it anyway.
noted as 'abnormal'
I'm putting this down to the 'running like a whore out of church' to get the sample to the lab as fast as possible, and also the period of abstinence, which has been noted as not long enough.
Now, if you have managed not to throw up your lunch (Yank region), or breakfast (Aussie region), or fish fingers (Dan), what do you guys make of this?
Some individual scores are good and some are not, but I am a little bit encouraged by the combinations of it all. To be honest, I'm as confused as a blind lesbian in a fish market, but I have some theories.
A lot of you are obviously quite well versed in these matters, I'm genuinely interested in your take on the overall picture.
Do I need to eat more cabbage, or rub sea shells against my testicles 3 times a day, or pump more cash into my 'bribe Jesus into leaving a miracle unattended' fund?
If you have something to add, please do....
For completeness' sake, (the post's and my humiliation's,) I'm sorry I don't have a picture of the sample to add.
*The defining measure of 50% motility, I'm not so sure of, is it 50% falling in A & B, or 25% in A, and another 50% in B, leading to 75% in A & B. I'm not having great luck nailing that definition down consistently from any sources.
The Norm values I mention are those on the lab report, I have seen some variations on these elsewhere.