Saturday, 8 March 2008

Generally being a tit

ET spent 2 and a half hours at the hairdresser on Saturday. With dried toothpaste on her face.

Classy huh? We are not experiencing a good relationship with toothpaste lately.
Also, this is not her first time making a tit out of herself at the hairdresser, she has previously spent hours there with her zip wide open, her 'love-heart' underwear on display to the customer's amusement.

From that, back to free stuff... due to Dan's generosity, I've decided that I want more free stuff. So send me some, okay?
In fact, I reckon with this blog's title, the wise and generous people of Sony corporation should be stepping up to the plate, and encouraging me NOT to swap my Xbox for nappy rash, possibly by providing me with a new one, that I can actually get games for. I'd be only too happy to keep the world wide web informed of my progress and how heart breaking a decision it turns out to be. Good idea don't you think?

From the desperate, to the bizarre.... Whilst enjoying a beer with a friend Friday night, we got around to the subject of marriage. (My own marriage tale is a bit of a sore subject in these parts, as basically we ran off to the US and got married on the Mississippi without telling any friends.)
Anyway, this friend mentioned that should he get married, he would do something similar.
As we had consumed a beverage or two by this stage, I decided it would be a good idea to suggest that I get ordained and perform the ceremony for him.

So I did.

I shit you not, as of Saturday morning, I am an ordained minister of the Universal Life Church, and allowed to officiate over weddings and other religious occasions in the United States(except for circumcisions, thank f***). So, anyone wanna be married by Reverend Xbox4NappyRash ? I'm game if you are....

Oh, and I should have the medical profession's verdict on my baby juice on Monday.

22 comments:

The Immoral Matriarch said...

You can so renew my vows for me.

BusyDad said...

haha @ immoralM. IF we make it 10 years, I think wifey would love to do the renewed vows thing. And IF you presided over it, it would be the shortest round 2 of a marriage ever, as she would clue into the fact that it was for the sake of one kick ass blog post.

A Whole Lot of Nothing said...

I'm using the word "whilst" in my next post just so I can be worldly like you. You're SO European. Maybe because you are...

When I get married to TOM CRUISE, you can officiate. Tho, he might not authorize that seeing as tho you want to crunk him in the head w/ a brick and you're not a Scientologist. But neither am I.

Good luck w/ the baby juice thing!

Xbox4NappyRash said...

thats 2 renewals, including one possible divorce, one fresh marriage of Tom Cruise.

"Whilst" makes me worldly eh? brilliant.

European? Yes, I smoke cigarettes on the toilet and only wash during the Summer months...

C'est la vie!

tiff said...

Mmmm, like how you slip in the most important news at the end.

It's monday here now!

We renewed our wedding vows when we were celebrating our 10 year anniversary. So, you'll be there for 20?

tiff said...

Ewwww about washing only in the Summer months...

Xbox4NappyRash said...

...and bear in mind the Summer in Holland lasts from round about the 3rd week in July to the last week in er, July.

Hilary (The Trying Game) said...

Reverend Xbox. I love it!

So was this the sparkly toothpaste from before? Listen, it could be worse. Toothpaste is better than a booger any day. So at least there's that.

Can't wait to hear about your results! Good Luck!!

Misty said...

here's what I'm thinking... Throw in the whole reverent tidbit while vying for merchandise from Sony. It can't help... And heck, this is free advertising... They truly should consider...

Nola said...

Yeah, I was gonna say what ImmoralM said. Awesome!

Joeprah said...

I'll drink to that? LOL! I await the news anxiously.

Monique said...

Isn't the XBox made by Microsoft? I'm afraid Sony won't be of much help to you unless you are bartering for a Playstation. :P Good luck tomorrow!

Kelley said...

I am thinking you may need to update and become the ordained minister of the Wii.

Like the Knights that go Wii. But cooler.

Wii4NappyRash? Hmmmmm....

Deb said...

Perfect. We renew our vows every year. So you'll be joining us at this year's ultra-tacky affair at the Mall of America?

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Hilary - I think its got a brilliant ring to it! I'm SO gonna marry someone. That's going on my CV.

@Misty - I agree, they are fools not to tap into my 7 strong readership.

@Nola - Coolio... ;-)

@Joeprah - You Do? it aint your jizz under the 'scope dude...

@Monique - Er, yes... thanks for pointing out that I'm a total idoit. I have to rectify that now.

@Kelly - Knights that go Wii, brilliant. ET wants a Wii, but I refuse as it messes with the name.

@Deb - I'm thinking along the lines of 'Xbox4NappyRash Drive Thru Vow Renewals Ltd'

Russ said...

Just upgrade to the 360, then you'll be 360fornappyrash. In the mean time you will be able to play most, if not all, of your existing games and catch up with me and Jasper on occasion!

Momo Fali said...

Why, in tarnation, would you get married on the Mississippi? There are a lot of pretty places in the U.S., and that's not one that comes to mind.

Any word on your baby juice yet?

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Russ - I'm SOOOOOO tempted to upgrade or pick up another console, but my conscience is nagging at me about the 'frivilous' outlay of cash.

Although...we are 11 months trying to get ET in the family way, => 11 months worth of nappies and 'I love my Dad' baby bibs saved...hmmm, so in a way, we're SAVING by buying the 360..hmmm

@Momo Fali - It was cheap !
Just kidding (sort of), New Orleans is as beautiful a town as I've ever been in, certainly in the US. I love my music too.
I'm not saying I'm a bit of a bad luck charm but a week after I left town Katrina rolled in.

Come to think of it, we spent our next anniversary in Istanbul, only for it to come under terrorist bomb attacks 3 days later.

Anyone want me round their's for dinner?

Baby Juice update on the way...

Big Momma Pimpalishisness said...

Can you marry people over the internet or does it have to be in person?

Xbox4NappyRash said...

like a webcam wedding?

this whole idea is just getting classier by the minute...

April said...

LOL this is so funny. I used to know of a woman that claimed she was an ordained minister. Even married people. The real truth she wasn't one at all. Have to wonder what those people think about their marriages? Thanks for sharing.

GoaldeeBug said...

OH OH OH! You are just the person we need. 4fthawaiian and I are getting remarried in a chapel in Vegas this year.... wanna come and be our Minister? Do you have an Elvis costume?