This is probably venturing into the realm of 'Too Much Information' but what do I care anymore, you get to hear about my inability to be correctly dressed -before, during and after important occasions such as this or this, you get to hear about my unintentional workplace kinkyness and indeed you get to hear about my enforced self pleasuring, using the term pleasure very loosely of course.
Anyway, It's a big day or so here in the mad house on humping hill- It's ovulation day (and a bit) !
Now, in past months we've gone with varying saddle strategies, such as:
-Gung-ho!, whenever, wherever, all month long with no idea of when ovulation is occurring.
-Guesstimation! Strategically planned around a best guess time when ovulation is probably occurring. Using the aqua team sparingly.
-L'Execution! Finding out exactly when ovulation occurs and pinpointing that time precisely. One fleet of marine experts with one mission.
-Oh-is-that-the-time! Being super cool and casual and pretending that we don't know when ovulation is. Flabby, pasty faced drunkards splashing around.
-La variation! - Variations of all of the above.
The quicker witted amongst you will be the ones to realise that none, to date, have worked.
So enter the month of 'The Ovulation Blitz!' ( or 'La Blitz Du Ovulation' for our French readers).
What does this involve?! I hear you all cry with trepidation...Well, it involves pinpointing exactly when ovulation will occur, and then proceeding to putting rabbits to shame from a day before, right through until the smile is gone from our, and the (very creepy) ovulation prediction kit's faces.
We've gone for blowing the text book standard of 'every 2 days' out of the water, and we are going warp speed.
We've 'ooooh la-la-d' our way through the past 36 hours. I've removed my underwear more times in the last day than any self respecting European male does in a working week.
Just this evening, entering the tail end of the ovulation comet (24 hours +), we arrived home to the usual argument of who is to cook. I pointed out that she needed to first go wazz on a stick, and the resulting smiley face meant that pizza got ordered, uglies got bumped, and dinner for Monday was a post coital pizza. (If that's not a gem of a marketing idea for Domino's then I don't know what is)
I'll admit, it was not easy, there were a few moments where I needed an inner pep talk and intense concentration ('focus dude!') to get through it, but we (Team idiot) did it!
Team woman, laid back and finished today's sudoko. I'm proud to say, by the end, she was finding it difficult keeping her numbers inside the wee boxes(Go team stud!).
We plan one more orbit before the ovulation comet trails off into the darkness...but hopefully not for a few hours yet...
Told you it was 'Trop d'information'...