Where can you buy a vagina wig?

Isn't stupidity simply captivating?

You know, like when you sit and laugh at your dog, who keeps eating nettles, getting stung, yelping like a country music fan, and then tries to eat the nettles again?

I think anyone who is still reading this drivel are the dog owners, and us two pillocks are the dopey mutts.

It's not even been two days since we got told by clinic #2 to run along like good little infertiles and not to be bothering the important people with silly things, like facts.

Nevertheless, we are sniffing out a nettle.

We have made an appointment to talk to clinic #1. Again.

In case you've forgotten, as we obviously have, clinic #1 have already put us through some uterus opening experiences, and told us to piss off, leaving us to the old hump n'hope method.

We are using the immaculate logic of hoping that they have forgotten what they said last time, that they have lost the ability to read a calendar, and that they have suddenly grown a bloody heart.

That being said, the doctor who we dealt with last time there, has left, so we have been assigned to a new doctor, so anything is possible. Right?

Anyway, if you want to see us getting laughed out of dodge one more time, be here next Tuesday, as that's when it's all going down.

Just ET, a telephone, and a mystery doctor.

You may think we are nuts, but this is a boost, a small thing to look forward to, even though nothing will come of it, most likely.

We have a big week and weekend of precisely timed, spontaneously preplanned, spur of the moment, ovulatory induced, 'hide the sausage' sessions ahead, so every little bit helps.

The boost that launched a thousand thrusts, so to speak.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a list to work through...