Tuesday, 1 April 2008

Fool's day

Yes it's Fool's Day and not Fools Day. Denoting ownership, my ownership, not pluralisation.

It's Fool's Day because it's MY day.

My day because it's day number 300 that I haven't managed to get anyone knocked up. (how can that figure be correct? thats 10 months, but we're currently in cycle 12, hmmmm)

My day because it's seven years exactly since I moved to this godforsaken country.

My day because it's seven years exactly since I started my first job in this godforsaken country.

My day because it's two years exactly since I started my third job in this godforsaken country.

My day because it would have been the day I started my fourth job in this godforsaken country, had I accepted it.

My day because I drink beer from glasses bigger than my own head.

My day because I clean the steamed up bathroom mirror with my discarded underwear.

My day because it's one year since I had ET distraught at the news that Colin Firth had gone to meet his maker following a car accident.

My day because in two days I get to knock one out into a plastic pot again.

My day because you can find the first 'Rash review interview with Grandmother & Granddaughter supreme, Kim over on the Frog Pond that Rocks. That's HERE for the simpletons among you. It might not make your life any better but you'll get to hear her say stuff like:
"I was raided by the drug squad...Luckily I had just smoked all the dope..." and "It was a beautiful right hook.... The skanky ho deserved it"....
If you stay awake long enough you'll also get to hear her answer to the age old question "Do you think it's an insult to your cooking if your son has taken to eating birth control?"

My day because I've given up on trying to conceive and decided to buy a couple of cuties instead. Not being one to do things by halves, I've gone for a double whammy, details to be found here.
I'm very grateful for the weak US dollar and my rogue-ish Irish charm.

Stick around, the day ain't over yet...

13 comments:

Foreigner by Default said...

Never imagined you as a merciless capitalist but there you go...

Not the first time I've got it horribly wrong. :D

tiff said...

Colin Firth is dead?!?!?!?!
Oh tht's just PERFECT!

Bettina said...

well I guess you can keep the day then!

Loved your interview with Kim!

Nola said...

Colin Firth is really dead??

Nola said...

OHHH! Doh! Got it.. hehehe

frog ponds rock... said...

Beer from glasses bigger than your head.. Yay! Now that would be fun...

cheers kim

Oh and btw..

He blew the condom up like a balloon and then licked it...

Deb said...

You did NOT tell her Colin Firth was dead! You're evil!

I bow to you. It's officially your day today. (I can say that with grace, because I already messed with MY husband's head today by emailing him a photo of a positive pregnancy test.)

Dondi Tiples said...

That was very funny, your acquiring Dad2Twins. This is an April Fools joke spawned in collaboration with Lance, yes? Tell me you haven't given up on your sperm.

Joeprah said...

That's is a mighty big mug! Looks good too! take it easy and enjoy those fond memories!

Tracey said...

If it's such a godforsaken country, WHY DO YOU LIVE THERE?

Kelley said...

Yeah, you are a fool and it is your day.

I am thinking alien sperm would be a good alternative. Just make sure your couches are reinforced for little Tom.

Veronica said...

Blogger hates me. This is my 3rd comment.

That is all.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@FBD - you and me both...

@Tiff - I wish, I bloody wish.

@Bettina - all mine, and thanks!

@Nola - Oh dear...I'll wait...

@Nola - THERE it is ;0)

@FPR - yeah, that's what I'd tell my mother too if I was cornered...

@Deb - I did.
That is just CRUEL....

@Dondi Tiples - not my idea mind!

@Joseph - Leffe Blond - delish.

@Tracey - because I'm stupid, and well, tax incentives.

@Kelley - alien sperm... hmmm.. ET...

@Veronica - Aww bless.