Stop right where you are and have a really good look around you.
I bet you any amount of our rapidly decreasing in value cash money that you are not in a place, metaphorical or literal, as bizarre as I am.
We all know that there are aspects of life that are wholesome, and some that are somewhat more sinister.
Generally, these remain separated. Separated by social sensibilities and physical environment.
Here, in Holland, that is not always so.
I'm currently working for a customer in a large city. One of the largest companies in the Netherlands, at their plush head office.
Should I fancy a breath of fresh air at lunch time, it would take me about 15 seconds to be standing in the heart of one of the seediest areas you'll find anywhere.
Scores of prostitutes flaunt their asses and assets in the lighted windows.
These same windows that were being freshly washed clean of only God knows what substances as I passed just before 9am, are already being pawed and knocked on by passing lunchtime trade.
By 5pm and home-time, you would be lucky to make your way through the vice seeking crowds in time to catch your train home.
Right now I've just done what I find myself doing more and more lately, stopping and chuckling at the bizarre world I'm stuck in.
A world where the youngest member of the most fertile family this side of the Kununurra Falls, uncle to 17 nieces and nephews, can't get his Irish Catholic wife knocked up for love nor money, where their failings are available for the entire world to see, yet one where I could pop out at lunch in my suit and tie for a French baguette and a blow job, or a ham sandwich and a hand shandy, and be back in time to discuss invoices with the finance director.
'Hold the mayo'