Saturday, 4 October 2008

Sniffing out someone's lap

We are meeting two friends of ours this evening.

We are going to have a bite to eat, and a few drinks.

They suggested it.

Normal behaviour, you might think?

A year ago I would have thought the same, but now, I have the nose of a bloodhound, and the overactive suspicious anxiety of an ex-bomb disposal expert being held hostage in a clock factory.

Rightly or wrongly, I must have this on record as a validation of my heightened sense of babyishness, or as a message that I need to chill out and try yoga, or mountain climbing, or cow painting, or something.

I think they are going to 'announce'.

They have had one child since we started trying, and I'm convinced they will announce that they are about to lap us.

I might feign a stroke at the dinner table. Then again, I may not need to feign, if I'm right.

So, by this time tomorrow, I'll either be distraught, depressed, yet strangely smug at my mutating sense of all matters reproductive, or I'll be distraught, depressed and a bit of a saddo.

Which will it be, I wonder?

I can't wait to find out, it's like the Pop Idol final, with my sanity and ego as finalists.


43 comments:

Sarah said...

"I might feign a stroke at the dinner table. Then again, I may not need to feign, if I'm right."

Have a cell? Have someone call you at a certain time so you can leave for some "emergency". I dont mind making super long distance calls...I've got your back! =)

Deep breathing....in through the nose, out through the mouth.

Feebee said...

The dread of a potential announcement is almost as bad as the announcement itself. Do they know what you're going through? If not, it might make you feel a bit better to talk about it - at least you won't feel like you have to spend the night celebrating for them. Whatever happens, get drunk - before and after.

Putz said...

lds general conferance is on, why not watch and maybe get a little heartened instead of disheartened

Marie said...

*sigh* Been there, done that. Not been lapped yet, though give it a couple months. The temptation to feign a stroke is quite strong, I'll definitely second that. Throwing up a little might be offensive at a meal, though effective. *scratching head* How about a migraine? Can you cook up one of those? Spontaneous combustion would be poetic, but unfortunately final, not to mention difficult to obtain.

I hope that's not it. I hope you're wrong. I hope they just want to hang out with you. I hope the best news they have is that they're NOT tied up in the American economy and thus are NOT being screwed up the tailpipe right now. No other screwing-related news though.

Do let us know though. We will have a drink for you.

Rachel said...

I hope you're wrong.

Poor, Poor Martin. Can you just down liquor at a rapid rate and ignore them?

No? Damn.

Sue said...

Yes, I've been there, too. It's sort of a jaded, depressed smugness, I think.

"I was right!" Then...
"Goddammit, I was right. F*ck."

I recommend many drinks. Maybe one before you even meet up with them. It will help cushion the blow, and if it's not what you think it is, that much the better.

I'll be checking in to find out the answer.

bsouth said...

Try cow tipping instead of cow painting - much more relaxing, trust me.

PAPATV said...

Everything sounds better if you say "Me, too!"
I having a baby. "Me, too!"
I drive a Saturn. "Me, too!"
I'm white and 1/4 Powhatan Indian. "Me, too!"

Tara R. said...

I hope that's not the case, especially if they know what is happening with you and yours. Being that you'll be at a restaurant, if that is the announcement, maybe feigning food poisoning would be better.

I hope you have your own announcement very soon.

Tismee2 said...

I'd just say "oh that's sooooo last year" and then ask if they saw the footie?

That'll learn em

Jenni said...

For your final number, I'm going to suggest you perform "Killing me Softly." With your eyes closed.

Jenni said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
womb for improvement said...

Maybe they just want to hang out with some folk who don't have kids so they can have an evening without discussing the merits of different brands of teething gel/ nappies/ push chairs.

I guess by the time you read this you'll know. So, go on, how good is your pregno-dar?

People in the Sun said...

When the times comes your kid will beat up both of their kids.

Veronica said...

So? Were they?

Or were they confessing that they actually found and read your blog regularly...

jothemama said...

If they are, did you ask if you could buy it?

Alyssa said...

I remember being in that position. My hubby and I were having trouble and it seemed like every single one of our friends were making announcements. Even the one that was so proud to announce she got pregnant on accident the very first night of their honeymoon. Lucky.

After going through it for months on our own it REALLY helped our spirits and even our marriage to come out and tell those close to us about our difficulties. Not that you want sympathy but you just want some people to not be so insensitive in their questioning and bragging.

Just a thought for you to consider.....

Alyssa said...

I remember being in that position. My hubby and I were having trouble and it seemed like every single one of our friends were making announcements. Even the one that was so proud to announce she got pregnant on accident the very first night of their honeymoon. Lucky.

After going through it for months on our own it REALLY helped our spirits and even our marriage to come out and tell those close to us about our difficulties. Not that you want sympathy but you just want some people to not be so insensitive in their questioning and bragging.

Just a thought for you to consider.....

Quickroute said...

Scary/creepy they're doing it in a public place - hopefully they just want to borrow money!

James Austin said...

No matter how nice the couple, I always secretly hated them for a little while when we were told of a new addition. I always knew it wasn't thier fault, it was just a way to deal with the kick in the gut they just gave us. So feel free to hate away, even if for a small period of time.

Amy said...

Ah, crap. I hope it's just that you're a bit of a saddo.

River said...

I so hope you're wrong. The only person I want to hear "that" announcement from is you.

AnnD said...

I would guess that your intuition is probably correct, intuition usually is. Let us know what happened. I'm just trying to put myself in to you and ET's shoes: "Oh. Really? You're getting a 2nd? That's just fabulous. We. Are. So. Happy. For. You. Now....fuck off please."

Do they have any idea what you and ET are going through?!

Leslie Laine said...

It is so validating to know that there is another human being out there whose experience (and "intuition") is so close to my own. We, too, have friends who have an almost-two-year-old, and we're waiting for the "we've lapped you bomb" bomb as well.

Keep us posted - very interested to hear what happened.

Lilacspecs said...

If they know how you guys are struggling, would they really make such an event out of anouncing another kid? Seems kind of harsh.

On a totally different note, my boyfriend's friends emailed us that they're expecting a second and the next day he randomly asked me when I'd like to start having kids....he's the one who wants me on the pill until I have a steady job here. sigh. Maybe you can come and take out your aggressions on his head. Gent is nicer than Antwerp anyway :p

Russ said...

I'm a bit late to the party. I hope sanity won, but then again I'm awful at picking the winner of those "reality" shows.

iVegasFamily said...

Perhaps some of their fertility will rub off on you or something.

Jane G said...

Well? Were you correct? Hope you got drunk either way!

Missives From Suburbia said...

I'm in suspense here.

I once invited friends out for drinks who were trying to conceive and having some bad luck with their kids sticking. My only goal? To get them out of the house and talking about anything BUT kids, pregnancy tests and babies.

Jo Beaufoix said...

Hope you're just being a saddo xbox.

(When I read that it looks so wrong.)

Sarah said...

OK, enough suspense! How'd it go? Inquiring minds want to know....

AKA...I am so freaking nosy!

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Sarah - the TTC love reaches accross oceans...!

@FeeBee - They can be. They really can.
Luckily I think we are pretty relaxed (did I really just use that word) about everything at the moment, so either way, It won't have a bad effect.

@Putz - If I had a clue what that was, I might be able to!

@Marie - Yeah, I'm fully expecting a lapping soon enough, just not right now.
Just a nice evening with a couple of friends!
Thankfully.

@Rachel - I'd do that anyway!

@Sue - We didn't get any announcement, although I rally shouldn't be so negative about the possibility.

@bsouth - that's just weird.

@Papatv - the lack of bumpage in a few months would blow that theory though...

@Tara R - All is well, no fear.

@Tismee2 - The evening interrupted my footie watching actually.

@Jenni - er...okay...

@wombforimprovement - that was exactly the case, they just wanted a night out.

I still reckon it's imminent though, so I'm withholding judgement.

@People in the sun - I doubt any offspring of mine would beat anything...

@Veronica - No!
Oh God, the thought.

@Jothemama - I would have!

@Alyssa - Indeed, a few people know, it's not a secret among our friends, these guys just don't happen to be in the know.

@Quickroute - It's not like a stage was hired, just a few drinks. Never happenned anyway!

@James Austin - That always happens yes, no matter who it is, you tend to hate them for a wee bit. Always passes though.

@Amy - Good news, I'm a saddo!

@River - You'll have
a long wait! hopefully not TOO long though.

@AnnD - No, they aren't aware. So I have no problems with them at all even if they did announce.
I'm convinced it IS coming though.


@Leslie Laine - It was just my imagination!

@Lilacspecs - No they don't know, they are good people.
Very odd carry on from that friend of yours.


@Russ - I should have set up a text vote line.

@iVegasFamily - I did follow him to the bathroom a couple of times...

@JaneG - Nope! and yes!

@Missives from suburbia - that's a really nice thing to do. it would be appreciated.

@jo beaufoix - I am, I am a saddo!

@Sarah - sheesh...'just relax'...

Tanya said...

I felt like that when I left a comment for you saying that we had succeeded on the 3rd go. Like rubbing your face in it. Once it happens though its hard to contain the excitement, we also had to tell a sister in law and husband who had just had a miscarriage, I felt even more of a biatch then.

Maybe you guys could talk about it before they make an announcement, if thats what they were announcing that might make for an interesting conversation, they might have some good pointers and advice and it might just feel better to have someone there to talk to because didn't you say you guys hadn't told a lot of people what you were going through?

Maggie, Dammit said...

A sixth sense! I actually really believe you.

And that picture is perfect.

Sarah said...

Know what else reaches across oceans? A mental kick to the shin! Wise guy. =) Good thing you're funny.

nola said...

I got news today that a friend is pregnant. It still stung (too a much smaller degree, I admit) that there are these, these, PEOPLE that just say, hmmm, let's get off the pill and then GET PREGNANT! Not problems, no worries. Still seems unfair, even now.

Soooo, just hang in. Your day WILL come.

Putz said...

ok listen up...you might know that even in your country we have lds general conferance every 6 months...well this chekaslovokian apostle in the latter day church [LDS] gave a talk on hope that was real good and all through that talk i thought of old nappy{that is you, old nappy} go to lds .com i think for the talk and get enlightened

tiggy said...

So, were you right?

Are you okay?

Kelley said...

They would seriously take you out to dinner to announce that? Are they that smug or just terrified you may attack them and want to make it public?

But if they were going to announce there would be no drinking right? I say if she drinks water at dinner high tail the hell outta there.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

@Tanya - It's really good that you are aware of how it can affect someone, no one can ask more than that.
You are totally entitled to your excitement, I hope you continue to enjoy it.

No need to worry about saying anything, here at least, Thanks, it's appreciated.

@Maggie, Dammit - a seventh I believe I called it.

@Sarah - ...looking?

@Nola - I've really no problem with it all, it's just the feeling of impending announcement is a bit unsettling.
I would be happy for them.

@Putz - I'll check it out and let you know if I'm enlightened or not.

@Tiggy - Nope, I wasn't, and yes, I'm just dandy!

@Kelley - Well, it would be GOOD news, right?

kittyconcerto.com said...

So what happened????

Sarah said...

uhhh, nope! I dont think so!

swile67 said...

I do feel your angst except my "announcement" is always when my single friends have found their soul mate, for which I do long and wait.