There are dangers in this trying to conceive business that you could never imagine. Potential pitfalls and predicaments lurk around every corner.
Disasters and embarrassments hide everywhere, disguised as innocent moments, incidental happenings, inconspicuous daily events.
They wait for your guard to be lowered, for you to be unaware, and not alert. Then they pounce, leaving you with unfertilised egg on your face. I give you exhibits A, B, C, and even D.
Two years in this game refines your skills, helps you sniff out these pitfalls before they occur, enabling you to side step embarrassment and turn and laugh unscathed in it's face.
What such tulip field of travesty have I tip-toed through this time?
From the top shelf of my bathroom cabinet, I present to you my 5 year old, only once used pot of ridiculously expensive hair styling wax:
From the second shelf, my recently acquired, as of yet unused due to IUI cancellation, semen sample pot:
Danger spotted, and neutralised. You won't get me this time, universe.
You can consider the disaster of me applying my freshly collected semen to my own fringe, or having a confused specialist attempt to inseminate ET with 'American Crew's' finest, averted.
(Upcoming adventure information on it's way, honest...)